I feel guilty for not being table to help my aunt who I am really close to.

It's really hard for me to see my aunt without a change that I expect her to have, the improvement and that willingness to really change for the better, to rehabilitate herself and get out from her addiction for her kids. I really pity her kids because it's obvious that their needs are inadequately addressed. They are unsociable and they look as if they were traumatised. I am not living with them, and their place is far from mine, so I am not able to witness personally what's going on in their day-to-day lives. But because of the fact what my aunt is doing, it's not hard to see that even her kids are direly affected. I couldn't do anything. First, I am not in the position. Second, I don't have the capacity to sustain her children's needs. But I want to help her in even the most little unimaginable and unnoticeable way, but even one I couldn't find. And that just make my heart aches.

If you personally don't have the capacity to sustain their needs, what about the rest of your family? I cannot imagine that they would not also care and try to help. Have you tried talking to them about ways you guys could get together and help out?

The power is in your hands.Don't just sit there helpless as her kids continue to suffer.Engage someone in authority like a social worker who is better placed to assess the kid's welfare and take appropriate action.Those kids will be forever grateful for your actions.That's the least you can do for them.

Honestly, foster care is not necessarily a better place for kids. If anybody in the family can take the kids and figure out ways to get through to the mother before making her lose her kids in the law, then that would be immensely preferable. I know kids who were children of addicts and they did NOT like to be put in homes. Many of them got more violent, more troubled and ended up small criminals because of this. Of course, OP should help them. But he should first try to find ways within his extended family and close family first.

What a horrible situation for everyone involved. How old are the children? Could you build up a relationship with them long-distance? Just the knowledge that there's someone out there who sees what's going on, cares, and is willing to listen and be emotionally supportive could make a huge difference to their lives.

It is difficult to want to help someone and being unable to do so. I understand that sometimes the person who needs help doesn't even recognize it themselves. If your family is anything like mine the problem can easily be swept under the rug. I sympathize with you and knowing that I am not in the situation it would be unfair for me to try to give advice. Depending on your relationship with your Aunt maybe you can ask why she needs the substance she's on. I would imagine it's different for everyone but could it be loneliness? You would probably have to find an indirect way of asking as most people get defensive when asked direct questions. I always believe that one single person can make a huge change and maybe just by calling your Aunt and checking on her she'll eventually open up on what's going on in her life.

That is such a tough situation, and my heart truly goes out to you. I do know that all things can be turn around and there is a solution to every problem. Start with other family members, Is there anyone else in the family capable of helping? Also how old are the children? I am sure there are programs and agencies that may be able to help your situation. Try looking up some agencies in her county for help.

If you can do anything in the materialistic way then do something in other ways. Give the kids a call and see how they are doing. Let them know that you are there for them and that they have someone that they can talk to. Sometimes, that is way stronger than anything we can do in terms of material things.

You're right, and seeing as I've also friends working and studying to become social workers, I should have said this first. But the people closest to me are some of the people who suffered foster care and who did become more violent and more criminal for it. The original poster talked about vague things concerning the kids; I think if there was a pressing issue of safety, they would have not this hesitation, which is why I mentioned that maybe the family could take care of it before the kids were just sent away to other families. I mean, this person obviously cares a great deal, and I really cannot imagine he/she is the only one in the family to care this much.

It is possible to feel so helpless if you are not in a position to assist your aunt. She must be struggling with an issue that needs to be sorted out. The problem is that she has to want the help herself. Find out as much as you can if there is someone else who can help her; maybe a friend of hers? It is so unfortunate because kids are involved here.

This is a really hard situation to be in, especially for the kids. I have had friends that were addicts, and their kids went through a lot because of that addiction. I'm sure that if your aunt could do better, she would, but sometimes addiction gets a hold of a person and doesn't want to let go.
Pray for an answer. When you are with the kids, try to do what you can for them. It can be something really simple. Also, try not to put their mother down in front of them.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I really hope one of your family members will be able to step up and take care of those kids for a while as the mother gets better. I'm sure they will become fine adults as long as they get someone capable to raise them and set a good example for them.

I think that every tiny bit helps when you really want to bring new awareness and change into the life of a person who is addicted to a substance. Most of the time we want to see quick changes, because it's obvious to us what needs to be done, but for the affected person/s it's a very different story. They need to adjust slowly to changes. First of all their eyes need to be opened. And that might take some time as well. It might take more than one person, and more than one attempt to make your aunt and her kids see and understand that there is more to life than the eye meets.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. This is a real serious and complicated situation that you are in, and I honestly feel for you, your aunt, her kids and just your family in general. I wish I could offer more advice like other people here, but it is quite difficult to think of the right way to deal with this situation. I hope I can just offer you some words that will let you know that I feel for your pain.

Becoming a foster parent is a massive undertaking and not something the OP necessarily needs or ought to consider just because they feel sympathy for their aunt and the aunt's children. I'm not necessarily saying it's a bad idea, but I just don't want OP to feel as though they're in any way obliged to take on their aunt's children if they don't feel in a position to. Going from one dysfunctional home to a carer unused to children and their needs would not be good for the children in question.

Are you able to discuss your feelings with other members of your family at all? It may well be the case that they feel the same as you. The children do not necessarily need to be taken away from your aunt, as other posters have said, this could cause more harm than good. Are you able to spend a little time with the children, maybe take them to the park or somewhere else that is free? It might be nice to try and put a little fun into their lives.

You should not feel guilty if you don't have the personal capacity to assist. You don't have to help financially and if you don't live near by you may not be able to always be their emotionally. You can only do what is within your means, but if you can't offer direct help, perhaps you can rally other family members to help or at least provide resources. You mentioned that you were close to your aunt, so you should be able to have an impactful conversation with her.