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I Get Sick When I Hear the Word

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by lin-duh, Jul 23, 2015.

  1. lin-duh

    lin-duh Member

    I can't even stand to hear the word "cocaine."

    My husband was soooo badly addicted to cocaine that we lost everything 3 different times. Altogether, he stole about $20,000 from me. Plus, he caused us to get evicted 3 times, among other things.

    Now, even when I hear the word in a song, I get sick, instantly.

    Does anyone else get like this?
  2. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    Wow! I do understand! I have a family member with this problem. I mean he steals from family and just causes all kinds of problems in his home. He has stolen all of the rent money from his dad and even stolen all of the electronics they had in the house. This is such a horrible habbit to kick. This causes family to seperate and all kinds of things to happen. I am sure the best thing to do is never to try this.
  3. lin-duh

    lin-duh Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you and your family have been dealing with this, smartmom. Of all people, I know how hard it is. One of the worst feelings in the world is not being comfortable in your own home because someone is stealing something that you worked hard for. The worst is like when a $300 video game console is stolen and sold for like a $50 high that the person loses in minutes. Drugs like cocaine are a huge losing game for everyone involved. I get so sick that I throw up when I think about it.
  4. lin-duh

    lin-duh Member

    I also learned to keep ALL my money -- even $20 or $100 -- in my bank account. To this day, I NEVER EVER EVER have cash. Even though my husband has not done cocaine in about 2 years (as far as I know), I do NOT feel comfortable having more than about $5 or so in cash. I make a special trip to the bank to make sure I don't have cash on me at all. During his bad times, he would do shady things with my debit card too, but he was less likely to do it thn when there was cash.
  5. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    I get disgusted when I think about the fact I used to take coke in the past, and the gruesome things I used to do to my parents and friends alike. I see that you getting sick of it is caused by the fact your husband used to take and that he caused you collateral damage. I'm sorry to hear that, but I'd like to know if everything's alright now?
  6. ash

    ash Member

    This is really really bad habits I know a person he was my neighbour and a good friend. Wasted all his money, exploding and unable to stop himself from continuing to seriously abuse cocaine. He had hallucinations that animals were crawling under his skin and some times scratches himself so badly until starts bleeding.
  7. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    I dont blame you for feeling sick after experiencing what you have.I've a little experience with blow and i can tell you that it messes people up bad.Im sorry for your trouble, seems like you've had some tough brakes
  8. Jane

    Jane Active Contributor

    Having it all in a bank account would make me even more nervous personally. It's so easy to drain an account like that and I'd want to hide any and all credit cards, too.

    For the original question, I don't have it with the word "cocaine" but there are other trigger words I have that will make my stomach do flip flops at the near mention.
  9. lin-duh

    lin-duh Member

    Well, before when he would take my debit card, I could change the PIN number online, so he'd usually only "get" me once. And there are ATM withdrawal limits. He can't go to the bank and take money out of my account, even though we are married. He did learn how to go to the store and buy things and get cash back, which let him go over the ATM limits. Ugh. It just makes me sick to think about it all.

    And I'm glad I'm not the only one who suffers from trigger words like that, although I am sorry that you have been through things that are causing you the same type of pain that I'm talking about.
  10. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    I also feel the same. I have known its personal effects and effects to the society. It is not commonly abused in my area since NGOs are creating awareness. We should openly talk about it so that we may live in drug free societies.
  11. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Well, since the word "cocaine" has already been associated to a lot of bad things, it's no wonder that people would feel sick of hearing it. It's just full of negativity.
  12. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Well there is an association with money. Any bad experience will go deeper when money is involved. It adds another layer to it. Sometimes when the other person is heavy with the emotion of hate it gets instilled in you. The sick part, that is usually associated with encountering an anti-social, suppressive type. An obvious time to eject them.
  13. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    Wow, I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Kudos for actually trying to work things out with your husband, even after 3 rounds of losing everything. I don't think I could've dealt with that. I can definitely see how you'd never want to hear the word again.
  14. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I'm sorry to hear that, that must of been really traumatic and I can tell why that word would bother you. I hope you find a breakthrough and get your hope and courage back again. God be with you.
  15. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    I hate to hear that I have always heard it was highly addictive. I always think of rich people when I think of cocaine. Like the movie "The Wolf of Wallstreet." I am no way shape or form rich or have rich friends for that matter. When I was 17 my boyfriend at the time did coke. Plus I knew others that did it as well. So I know normal everyday people do it as well as the rich.
  16. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I get sick when people are so hooked to cigarettes that they derail their whole schedule only to have a smoke. Or when they get angry and crazy because they really need one but they don't have it. At first glance it would seem like acting for the sake of getting some attention, but then I remember I was doing the same thing as well a while ago. I'm so thankful I'm not like this anymore!
  17. henry

    henry Community Champion

    It's only natural for you to feel that way after all you've been through. I know this example is not the same, but I used to have a hotdog stand. I had it for about a year, and still, when people mention the word hotdog, I just want to kick them in the "bleep."
  18. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I'm not surprised the word makes you feel this way. We associate feelings with words, depending on what context we use them in and it's clear that just the mention of the things which has caused your family so much heartache will bring back all of those associated feelings.
  19. knitmehere

    knitmehere Community Champion

    That's how I get when I hear the word "heroine". I've lost too many people to it. I don't feel the same way about cocaine, but that's because I'm the one with the addiction and you tend to convince yourself that it isn't "that bad".
  20. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    Is it like a trigger word for you and every time you gear it you feel certain emotions? I totally understand why you feel the way you do when you hear that "word". That's horrible to experience despite the fact that you weren't the one stealing for more drugs and willing to get evicted for it. Yeah sometimes we do wrap certain words with emotions whether it be positive or not.