This week has been a whirlwind of emotion for me. I relapsed this February with coke, but it’s been 2 weeks or so since I’ve been clean from it again. I’m also hoping to make the transition back from smoking weed to vaping it. In all the stress I asked my mom for a benzo, and she brought me over 8 of them. I know she wants to help me, but I honestly feel like she forgets that I’m an addict. I don’t even have to beg her for them, sometimes she just offers them to me without me even asking. Other than cigarettes, I don’t think my mom has ever been addicted to anything, so maybe she just doesn’t understand. She rarely uses her benzos, as they are just a back up for her bipolar, so I know she always has some, and lots. So yeah, basically I’m having a tough week, and since I’ve been on medical leave from work for a couple of months, I’m just sitting in my small house all day by myself with a big bag of weed, my boyfriend’s coke easily assessable, and a few benzos (that are disappearing quicker than I’d like). I feel like I’m constantly screaming in the inside. Pray I make it through the day without putting myself into another self induced drug coma.