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I have a friend...

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by 350greasemonkey, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. I have a friend who positively drinks too much. He's not bad as far as getting too inebriated and acting erratic and crazy or abusive, but he gets canned just about every single day. He once told me he drinks so much and so habitually that he no longer gets sick or gets hangovers. His alcoholism doesn't affect his work or too much of his home life, but it has to be DESTROYING his liver. He also is not to keen on the idea of rehabilitation seeing as he hasn't seen it affect his daily life much. What on earth am I to do to help?
    edwardscoggins likes this.
  2. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    How do you know if it's destroying his liver? Did you and your friend go see a doctor about this? If not, then you are merely presuming a thought that has not been proven - it's best to leave such falsity out of your mind, because there's no benefit to believing in it.

    If you're friend is doing well in life, not doing any harm or wrong, and doesn't even get hangovers, let him continue his drinking lifestyle because that's his life and choice to make. I have a friend who drinks ethanol beverages everyday, has a wife and two kids, is the top 5 worker at his job, and simply passes out when he's drunk - yet when he went to get a check-up with his doctor, the results showed he had no health problems besides his missing knee cap and bad back from working to hard.

    Every man and woman is different, only a few things in life is black and white, but everything including drug use is of a shade of gray. It's best if you leave your friend to do what he wishes to do so long as he do not harm, injure, or wrong any other man or woman, because who knows how long people will live, so to take away what people like to do can become a wrong to them too.
  3. I am speculating on his liver, but he does drink a very excessive amount, so I really could not believe his liver is not in jeopardy. He doesn't seem to show any sign of slowing down so that's why it seems so imperative that it be brought up. He definitely used to get hangovers and he seems like he wakes up still drunk most mornings. Somehow he still functions though. It's almost overwhelming. Perhaps you're right though, he's not really hurting anyone, except potentially himself.
  4. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    350greasemonk, if it's your friend and you know he's drinking excessively I believe it's natural to be concerned and want to help. I don't know all the facts about drinking but I know it affects different people in different ways.

    I have a girlfriend that has been drinking non stop for years and if we are going by appearance only she looks physically much better than I do and I seldom drink an entire beer. Still, I worry about if she might be harming herself. It's not always about what appears on the surface.

    If you have a genuine concern which your post suggest, I would recommend gathering as much information as you can and making a decision based on your findings. You will know when and if to leave it alone. I would definitely want a friend like you who's concerned about my well being.

    Here is a short reading I found on the subject.

    https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/what-is-alcohol/how-much-is-too-much
  5. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Tell him he should stop/minimize his drinking habits as this alcoholism of him is already affecting his health. Sometimes, you have to be painfully frank to other people for them to wake up from this bad dream.
  6. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Well, try your best to discourage him from habitually drinking by talking to him and telling him that you are greatly concerned about his welfare. Then gauge his reaction. If he seems to shrug and ignore your advice, then I guess leave it at that. No one wants to force help on someone that doesn't want help in the first place.
  7. I think I'll see what I can do to get him to cut down. Maybe I'll just try to get him involved in things during the day before he has a chance to start drinking and keep him from starting that day, and if it goes well then talk to him and go from there. Thanks for your support.
  8. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I feel your concern about your friend. The fact that he no longer gets sick should raise the red flag. His body has become so used to booze that it has probably developed some form of resistance. I would suggest that you talk him into getting his liver checked just to lay aside any fears that you may have.
  9. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    Well, this is an issue. Talk to his family and other friends to see if they share your concern because if this is not handled correctly, it could be dire. Ask him to go to a doctor to get his liver checked out to make sure that there is nothing wrong with him.
  10. Lizel

    Lizel Community Champion

    Try to talk with him honestly and tell him about the consequences that can take place if he really won't stop drinking, if that doesn't help tell about his alcohol problems somebody who will have a better influence on him than you.
  11. drc52

    drc52 Active Contributor

    I think the best way to help would be to enlighten him on the topic of liver damage. Read a few stories online about what happens when someones liver gives up after too much alcohol, I know several people who never touched a drink again after becoming aware of the eventual pain that would occur if they didn't stop drinking.
  12. Linno

    Linno Member

    If you're worried then you need to sit down with him and tell him about your concerns that his drinking has gone beyond "normal". It might help to set some boundaries and tell him you can't be around him if he is (or has)been drinking. This might make him realize that this situation is serious to you. It could possibly cause some resentment too, so you'd have to be prepared for that.

    Also you have to realize that you won't be able to stop him from drinking, nor should it be your responsibility to get him sober, so take care of yourself too and don't beat yourself up if things go from bad to worse.
  13. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    If he is still able to keep up with his responsibilities then I wouldn't worry too much. If you are really worried about his liver then just advise him to get to a doctor ASAP. If he learns that his liver is deteriorating and he still can't stop, then you might really have a problem, but otherwise I think it's all speculation at this point.
  14. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    I appreciate your concern for your friend and I agree with most of the posters here. If he doesn't even get hungover anymore let alone sick and he is downing that much alcohol then that's a clear enough sign! Sit him down and tell him your concerns about his health, be very honest with him and explain that although it might seem like he is winning right now that will not be the case in a few years time or in the long run.

    Hopefully he will heed your concerns and slow down a little! All the best with that.
  15. Моst реорlе whо hаvе аlсоhоl-rеlаtеd hеаlth рrоblеms аrеn’t аlсоhоlісs. Тhеу'rе sіmрlу реорlе whо hаvе rеgulаrlу drunk mоrе thаn thе rесоmmеndеd lеvеls fоr sоmе уеаrs.

    Rеgulаrlу drіnkіng mоrе thаn thе rесоmmеndеd dаіlу lіmіts rіsks dаmаgіng уоur hеаlth.
    Тhеrе's nо guаrаntееd sаfе lеvеl оf drіnkіng, but іf уоu drіnk lеss thаn thе rесоmmеndеd dаіlу lіmіts, thе rіsks оf hаrmіng уоur hеаlth аrе lоw.

    Аnd іt's сеrtаіnlу nоt оnlу реорlе whо gеt drunk оr bіngе drіnk whо аrе аt rіsk. Моst реорlе whо rеgulаrlу drіnk mоrе thаn thе ΝНЅ rесоmmеnds dоn't sее аnу hаrmful еffесts аt fіrst.

    Аlсоhоl’s hіddеn hаrms usuаllу оnlу еmеrgе аftеr а numbеr оf уеаrs. Аnd bу thеn, sеrіоus hеаlth рrоblеms саn hаvе dеvеlореd.

    Lіvеr рrоblеms, rеduсеd fеrtіlіtу, hіgh blооd рrеssurе, іnсrеаsеd rіsk оf vаrіоus саnсеrs аnd hеаrt аttасk аrе sоmе оf thе numеrоus hаrmful еffесts оf rеgulаrlу drіnkіng mоrе thаn thе rесоmmеndеd lеvеls.

    Тhе еffесts оf аlсоhоl оn уоur hеаlth wіll dереnd оn hоw muсh уоu drіnk. Тhе mоrе уоu drіnk, thе grеаtеr thе hеаlth rіsks.
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    How is his relation with his family? Maybe they could convince him to have a visit to a doctor to check his current condition. Best if the family can convince him to stop drinking alcohol before it is too late for him.
  17. jon

    jon Active Contributor

    Maybe you can try reasoning with him about the effects of alcohol on his liver. During this process, maybe you can help him discover reasons to quit.
  18. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    You could start off by having a word with him. He might not be aware of his problem. If he is but he doesn't realize the long-term consequences of his actions, try and talk to him about that. If he shuns you completely, I don't think he should be passing as your friend. I know some people might attribute a refusal to get help to the source of the issue but I believe that your friend is more than capable of turning his life around while he is still sober.
  19. OhioTom76

    OhioTom76 Senior Contributor

    As a heavy drinker myself, if someone approached me and started bringing up all sorts of uncomfortable discussions about my liver and other health issues, I would probably shut them out and quit talking to them. That's just me though. They're basically saying "I'm disgusted with you because of your drinking" and I'm already down on myself to begin with so it would be more like rubbing salt into an open wound.

    It's very much like walking up to someone and lecturing them about being fat. You can't just magically make it go away overnight, and going forward you're just going to make the person even more self conscious and frustrated with themselves.

    I think there are more subtle ways to be more supportive of friends who you feel are drinking too much. If you drink as well, albeit not as much, maybe consider giving up drinking as well and telling your friend you're trying to lay off of it for your own health, and mention some of the reasons why. It would come across as less confrontational and judgmental, and he may be willing to do it along with you. Maybe it's also for monetary reasons as you are trying to save up for something you really want and don't want to be wasting money on booze.
  20. Pinoy Jade

    Pinoy Jade Active Contributor

    You should talk to him and discuss about the bad effects of alcohol. Having those intake of alcohol indeed can destroy his liver. Accompany him to support groups, it should help him