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I haven't much of a story.. Maybe purpose?

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Dank Dex, Mar 20, 2016.

  1. Dank Dex

    Dank Dex Member

    In all due honesty everyone, I haven't an issue that could be medically labelled as an addiction physiologically, or a chemical dependency. What I do does not matter, I wouldn't mind sharing, however this forum to me, with some posts I've read, seems to be a danger zone for someone comfortable with drug exposition. I'd rather no stigma.

    Some background info; I'm a 20 year young male, I haven't physically been around for awhile. However, I have experienced massive amounts of life that I wouldn't wish upon the world. Some of which in relation to drugs, seeing what they first hand do to individuals..

    Example, I've sold a lot of drugs. From the ages of 13 until just recently have I been involved in lucrative criminal activities, and mainly the drug world... I hadn't time to buy an ounce and sell it retail. I was manufacturing drugs. It was essentially a passion for chemistry I had naturally always possessed, mixed with the struggle of poverty, and growing up in statistically bad neighborhoods/exposed to negativity. So I've seen it first hand..

    I still suffer tremendous amounts of guilt, being 15 years old, selling this kid I met in school some Oxycontin cause he never tried it and simply wanted to, however, he got into it. At the time I told him that I couldn't just get Oxycontin, for it can only be obtained via governmental administration. However, I told him, I wouldn't have much an issue processing pure codeine for him from certain OTCs, or whip him up a batch of four (Heroin that can be inhaled).. stupid of me... Now 5 years later, he's a homeless heroin junky.. It may have happened inevitably, however I feel the guilt only cause I had fed his curiosity of opiates; I opened the door. It may have taken him to jump through it, but I opened it for him.

    There are many other small tales too, I can literally go on for years, but only like ten :p. I saved my best friends life of a hydromorphine addiction as well, and he hasn't relapsed since. I am very happy for that, yet the process was grim... and even though recovered medically.. he's still messed up from the opiates.. I guess this is why I have never had an addictive personality, especially to substances I have tried with recreational purpose. I just dealt with them too much before and without letting a substance get to my head, or shall I say.. not allow me to get to my head..

    Either way; I'm here as a way to give back, the past two years of my life have been reflective of how to better myself as an individual from the relatively empty and hurt person I was, and if there is at all, anything from it that I can use to contribute to the world. I've got some figured out. I have quite a fundamental understanding of biochem, organic chem, etc. I'm currently working on getting education within those fields, and pharmacology, to hopefully be a developer and researcher of medications, as well street level drugs. Gather proper statistics to inform society, as well develop what could be safer alternatives to current medications given out.

    Finally, until then, all I can really do is discuss and share my knowledge to people who truly yearn the information. I'm all facts, no opinions. Any type of question you have towards regulated substances, I'll have an answer. I highly encourage parents as an audience as well; I am a part of this crappy corrupt generation of plasticity.. who would know better than what you're child is actually up to non other? Any questions regarding your child and substances, I can answer. Even on a pharmacological level, such as understanding the potential expectations of effects with certain molecular compounds in response to certain sets of neurology. (Mental illness, cognitive impairment, physical issues).

    Please feel free to ask me anything, otherwise, I'll hopefully be around, and contributing to some threads. Hopefully I'll have some good one on one experiences with some addicts or concerned individuals. Give them all the knowledge I can to help them.. cause knowledge is power.

    Love and Peace, Always,
    Danky Dextrorotatory.
  2. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Welcome to the forum then and hopefully you will have an enlightening, if not fruitful, time interacting with the rest of the members. Hopefully your knowledge will encourage and open doors to people looking for answers, suggestions or insights, helping them find light at the end of the tunnel.
  3. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    Welcome, and glad to have your unique perspective on hand! I recall being in high school and researching (best I could in the late 1990's) the drugs I was interested in and eventually put into my body. There are a lot of factors in each category that are valuable to know; bio-availability, processing and digestion time, conversions and adverse effects that could occur with drug use.

    Thank you for joining this forum, you are a valuable asset for certain!
  4. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    Hey there @Dank Dex and welcome to the community. I am so glad that you found us. I think that you would be a great help and source of inspiration to others. Thank you for joining.

    I hope to hear more from you. :)
    Winterybella likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Welcome, @Dank Dex. I hope to see you around the various discussions in this community.
  6. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @Dank Dex. Hello and welcome. Thank you for willingly extending your expertise with us here and in other discussion forums.

    You have indeed shared your story with us. Not many are willing to step forward in sharing how they feel when and after being involved in dealing drugs on such a conscientious level. I do pray that that part of your life has turned around for the better.

    Again, welcome.
  7. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    It is a good thing that you didn't sink into addiction as people in similar circumstances as yours are won't to do. It is quiet fine that you have learnt from the experiences of others but you are bedevilled by guilt. That you have a conscience is commendable, better still, joining this forum. Forgive yourself and become a change agent. A short step goes a long way.
  8. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I join the other members in welcoming you to the forum @Dank Dex. You really do bring a unique experience to the forum and indeed your story is one that should be told. Believe me when I say it's quite a story. I am really glad you decided to join us and I pray you can help others here who might be struggling with addiction. Perhaps it's your time to save some lives.
  9. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    @Dank Dex Hello and welcome to this forum! Like what they had said you had a different kind of story but it is never too late to change your life for the better. I do hope that your story can be an eye opener to those who are struggling from addiction. Thank you for the courage of sharing your story to us here in this forum.
    KaseyHopeMartin likes this.
  10. It takes a lot of courage to share that kind of story. And a lot of courage to try to make up for past wrongs. Some things cannot be made right, but it's really good that you are turning you life around - and at such a young age too.

    My boyfriend also used to be a dealer, except he used drugs and alcohol too. He's turned himself around and is the leader of a group that helps troubled kids get away from the addiction path that they are on. He's turned himself into an excellent role model and is helping teens try to get off the path that he was on. I really admire him for it.

    My point is, you can do it. You have the potential here to be a role model to people, and be able to say "I've been where you are." Because no one understands better than a person whose actually walked down that path.
    I wish you luck!
  11. rajesh

    rajesh Senior Contributor

    First of all, welcome to this forum. This forum is the best place to share your addiction problem. You can seek help from all of the members in this forum. Well, I know that you have found this to share your knowledge. I just want to say you that this place is for sharing of knowledge as well as gaining the knowledge about addiction. I am happy that you joined this forum. I will definitely take tips for my addiction.
  12. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Hi there! Welcome to the forum, no judgement here, because we know everyone makes mistakes, I did, you did and everyone has. We are not the first nor the last ones, so no problem. I hope to see you contributing to the site in the future :) Someone always comes here with the kind of questions only you could answer.
  13. tgthewriter1

    tgthewriter1 Member

    You always have a choice. I grew up in a neighborhood where the thugs get the girls and it’s hard to find a job. I decided to go back to college and look for a job. The job search has been going bad so I decided to look for a way to make money online. I made a choice to do something with your life and you should do the same. I know it’s hard but you got to get your stuff together. Get your money in order. Go to school and stop doing things that can cost you your life. Be a solution to a problem and not a harm to a problem. You know what you need to do. You just need to take that first step into being financially stable.
  14. bhu

    bhu Active Contributor

    Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your story. As others above have said, judgment is not what we're about here. We can get that anywhere. What we're here for is experience, strength and hope. Hopefully your experiences will help someone else. Best wishes.
  15. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    You certainly sound like a good person for this forum. The experience you say you have is something that everybody who has been addicted needs to hear about. I have also seen a lot of people getting destroyed by drugs and I really try to keep away.
    Just for the record. You shouldn't be talking about your criminal activities like this. It doesn't matter if you stopped doing them. If you were not in jail for what you did you really should be careful what you write and where. You never know who is reading and it is so easy to get to one's IP address, regardless if you were writing from some remote PC.
    Just sayin'. :)