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I just can't anymore

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by evelyn089, Jan 7, 2020.

  1. evelyn089

    evelyn089 Member

    Hi all,

    I've reached a point in my life that I NEED to get admitted to an inpatient program. My drinking problem has caused so much damage in my life with my relationship with my bf, family and friends. I keep letting them down and my bf has been so fed up with my drinking yet, he is still in my life. In the last year, I lost my job and didn't work for 6 months, got into a car accident ( I crashed into a small pole and THANKFULLY did not hit or kill anyone). I do not remember that night of the accident and just remember waking up in jail in a sober up cell. Since then, I still continued to drink knowing I should not and still hurting my relationship. Since I did get arrested, I was told by a lawyer that I should go to AA meetings and go into rehab so that judge will see that I am trying. I missed worked yesterday and decided to turn my phone OFF and everyone in my department was very worried about me. I went into the office and apologized to my boss and told her about my drinking problem. She was so understanding and told me she is willing to work with me. I have so much to lose.

    Part of me tells me that I NEED to go to rehab and another part of me doesn't want to proceed :(
    *sigh*
  2. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    If you're for real ill help you. I'm not playing around on this site anymore tho.
    I've been calling out BS. And many people post fake problems for attention, or to keep the site active- someone that worked here told me this before they left I know its true-so answer this and ill post again please.
    Why did you wake up in a "dry out room" (been to jail alot, never heard of a sober cell).
    Secondly, those rooms, they stopped after MADD got all the laws passed.
    Davers likes this.
  3. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    And someone with a serious problem like this would sound the way you do...hi all, and what's with the "oh what to do" emoji? These aren't the words of a seriously ill alcoholic..
    Read my first post, that's more how you feel.
  4. Nathan420

    Nathan420 Member

    I can really relate. I was hanging by a thread, standing on the thinnest ice I've even seen at work due to my drinking problem and likewise I had to come clean about my addiction to my work and luckily they were extremely supportive and understanding. Gave me many chances to sort myself out but every chance I got I took for granted and deep down I knew I didn't want to stop drinking, I didn't want to change but just lied to everyone, even to myself that I'm doing everything I can to help myself. It's really hard when your substance abuse habits have become a natural part of your lifestyle, so hard to see a life without the drugs. I'm still struggling with drugs, I've managed to sort out my alcohol habit out, I've been drinking minimally and within limits for the past month but I'm only able to do that because I've simply substituted alcohol with other drugs. Valium and Amphetamine. I still have a drug problem but it's not affecting my home life or work anymore. It's a bad way to do it but it's working...for now.

    Rehab is the best thing you could do for yourself I think. It'll detox your body and your mind. Get to the root cause of your drinking, you'll learn from other people on how to cope when you're feeling weak and gonna relapse, you'll find your old self, your true self. I was offered to go to rehab but I'm not ready. Once an addict, always an addict. The way I see it is the only thing you can do is channel your addict mindset, look it at it as more of a trait rather than a curse. Put the effort in and find something you can channel it to. Going to rehab is a very brave move and takes dedication, it's going to be hard. I've been offered to go to rehab but I refused despite everyone telling me it's the most reliable and effective way to get back on track and get your life back. Go to rehab, go to AA meetings, just give it a go. Even if at the time you know you don't want to change your lifestyle, you never know, you could change your mind.

    I wish you luck.
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I struggle with alcohol, in fact it is usually how I destroy relationships of all kinds,not intentionally it's just what happens when I drink.Abiut 6-7 weeks ago I was drinking up to 18 beer's a day knowing the entire time I was going to crash if I didn't stop...Before new years I stopped drinking completely until super bowl Sunday. I drank a 12 pack and jeopardized yet another relationship and I feel the sting yet again.I don't know why but alcohol changes my personality drastically, puts me in a I don't give a fuk mood and I get reckless in everything I do.I used the super bowl as an excuse to drink,sort of like a free pass to myself...well I'm paying for it now and can only hope and pray I didn't do to much damage but I can't be sure at this time,I can only pray the Lord sorts it out and my actions can be forgiven.
  6. Bullwinkle

    Bullwinkle Community Champion

    Being a recovered alcoholic, I can relate. I didn’t go to rehab, I went directly to the Alcoholics Anonymous Fellowship / Meetings which teaches the 12 Steps and is the origin of the 12 Step Model (self-examination) that many rehabs use. 50+ years ago, when I first attempted recovery, there were very few rehabs and of those that I know of, the 12 Step model was used. In retrospect, if I had gone to rehab, I probably would have had to take the 12 Steps over again, and I don’t know anyone that had gone rehab, that didn’t have take the 12 Steps again. Some rehabs help with detox and then introduce the 12 Steps, but rehabs are safe, not the real world, where the 12 steps have the potential to work.

    I found out by taking the 12 Steps, how mentally ill I was, based on deep shame. That my drinking was but a symptom (indicator) of my mental illness.

    When I first attend AA meetings, I was told by some, that I can’t recover, unless I accepted the help of God / Higher Power. Well that’s what worked for them, but not for me and many others I’ve know or have known. So, you may know this, but if not, the 12 Step model is at a least 2000 years old, it’s Judeo-Christian, it’s Jesus Christ and I know atheists and agnostics that follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. Mahatma Gandhi was born Hindu, yet he followed the teaching of Jesus Christ.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  7. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Before reading more , the only 'dry room ' I can relate to is being thrown in a padded room cause I said I wanted to kill myself ( Cobb Co GA ) but all the other times I was blacked out & disorderly while being processed , I usually woke up face down 'Hog Tied' BTW This was before they got that 'Chair thing' they use to subdue people .

    Me .....I try to give people the benefit of 'My' doubt , but don't have much faith in people these days.
  8. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    I'd advise getting into rehab , i wished that I could afford a short program , in the past but never could do it + I still have certain God given (IMO) rights that i'm afraid will be taken away or a rehab visit may used against me to take away certain right's I have as an American.