I've never done anything like this before but I figured I'd give it a shot. My name is Brandon. I have been an intravenous methamphetamine user for almost 5 years now. Up until recently I had never gone more than 3 days without shooting up. I do not share needles nor have I ever been charged with a crime! I've never sold drugs and never intend to. I just simply get my sack and go home. However about 6 months ago, everything fell apart. I lost my house, car and my children all in less than a month! I have been homeless the last 6 months. I dont know how to be homeless. I've never been in this situation before. I just found out the mother to my children is also on drugs and cannot adequately care for my 2 boys, so I have to get clean to fight for custody. So , I was able to go 7 weeks and 3 days by myself, clean! It was something I never thought I could ever accomplish. But I have relapsed! I can't believe it. I am so ashamed and upset with myself. I can't take seeing the sadness in my moms eyes again, so I have not told her. The thing is, is that I'm so tired. I'm so tired of fighting this addiction just to fail. I am so tired of seeing the disappointed looks in my brothers and moms eyes. I have been to numerous rehab facilities. None of them worked! I just don't know if I can start over from day 1 again! I dont know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated and taken to heart! I have no one to talk to about this. Thank you to anyone who is willing to help.