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I just got dumped

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Rex, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Just wondering how you are doing now? Drop us a line and give us an update when you get a chance. Stay strong and this too shall pass.
    Rex likes this.
  2. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I know what you mean. For females, the universal advice to get over absolutely anything is "get some ice cream and wine". Nooo! They might be nice whilst you are eating/drinking them but once they are finished, you are guaranteed to feel a hundred times worse. You've been dumped, you're now half-drunk and you've just shovelled down a full tub of Ben & Jerry's. Happy days!
  3. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Update, i've managed to calm down after four days, the pain is still awful but i'm able to breath a little and give myself some breaks from it. Just to clarify, it was nothing to do with the drinking, im clean and sober and she didnt know me when i wasnt. Thanks for the support though, i didnt really have anyone non virtual to talk to. I think i might take a class or something to fill in the time and keep busy. I have no desire to drink which is kinda funny but its good also. Ive got absolutly no interest in dating and doubt i will for a long time. This has hit me hard and i really need to look at myself and try to come out of this a stronger person
    deanokat and JonnyMacdonald like this.
  4. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    Good to hear you are doing okay bud, time heals all wounds even if it doesn't feel like it now.
    Great idea to take a class, or really get involved with any group.
    I do a lot at my church, I know church isn't for everyone but even if you are a little curious you should check one out if you haven't been in a while.

    Funny thing, I was in (kinda) a similar situation.
    Got dumped (I wasn't "fun" anymore cause I stopped living the party life) and didn't want to date.
    Made some new friends, one just happened to be the most amazing, beautiful supportive women I have ever met.
    Needless to say I married that women.
    You never know what will come you way, especially when your not looking for it!
    Rex likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Rex... I'm glad to hear you're doing better. Sending positive vibes your way, my friend. Always here if you need anything.
    Rex likes this.
  6. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Thanks man, i may take you up on the offer. People might think its weird but i really found some comfort from knowing some total strangers were thinking of me and keeping me in their prayers
    missbishi likes this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Not weird at all. It takes a village.
    Rex likes this.
  8. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    @JonnyMacdonald Thank you, religion isnt really my thing. I grew up in a strict catholic household and although my parents are amazing I never really connected with their faith,but thank you for the advice non the less. I just dont want to be alone at the moment and even the company of strangers is something id really enjoy.
    Its really wonderful that you met somebody great. Id like to get married some day, fall in love again maybe have some children, but i need to get to know myself first. if that makes any kind of sense?
    JonnyMacdonald likes this.
  9. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    I know what you mean. Im going to spend time with a real world friend tomorrow so i hope that can take my mind off of it for a few hours
    deanokat likes this.
  10. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    @Rex: I'm sorry to hear that mate, I think in your case, only time can heal so be patient my friend and take care of yourself and as knitmehere said, you're well being is more important than your love life and their replaceable. She shouldn't have dumped you in this difficult time, so I don't think she was a good person.
  11. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    @amin021023 Ive been trying to write her an email.I'm not sure what to say other than shes broken my heart and telling her what she means to me. God I keep thinking that i could have been more attentive or caring or made more of an effort with her friends but the truth is i always did try my best in the relationship. So i dont think theres anything i can do
  12. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    are you saying you can't move on? because what you suggested won't do any good neither will begging. if you really want to get back at her, you're going to need a much better plan. in the meantime, exercise ! it really helps...
  13. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Good thing you do not intend to drink again because of that cause drinking will just make things worse. Cry if you feel like crying cause that could help you at least ease a pain. I think better to concentrate more in your recovery and try to be busy on other useful things.
    Rex likes this.
  14. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I'd like to repeat what others have already said: feel sad, cry the pain away and bawl if you must. However, never ever drink to drown out your sorrows. Doing so will only make things worse for you. Just let your feelings go through other means. Solicit the support of loved ones and those you trust. Perhaps you can go for karaoke or eat out somewhere. Avoid being alone at all costs until you're ready to accept the situation. Don't worry. Painful though it may be, that too will pass and you will be back to the old you. Give yourself some time to heal.
    deanokat and Rex like this.
  15. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    I get it, not everyone's cup of tea.
    It is certainly important to jump start your social life though, so perhaps not church but there certainly must be a social group that interests you right now?
    It does make sense! You gotta fully come to grasps with who you are, and who you want to be.
  16. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    I totally respect your faith though, thats great.I'm pretty into writing so I was going to take a class in creative writing. Maybe i can channel the pain
    deanokat and JonnyMacdonald like this.
  17. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Yeah your right, it was a stupid idea, i really need to have no contact with her
  18. juno

    juno Community Champion

    I'm glad that you are seeking support rather than falling off the wagon. I know this is a hard time and you just want to make yourself feel better the quickest and easiest way possible, but remember that the short cut to soothe yourself will not help you be happy or stronger in the long run, rather it can make things worse. Hang in there.
    deanokat likes this.
  19. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    It's ok to cry and wallow in your pain, after all you're hurting and you need to release the pain. But it won't be permanent, you know, and with time you can look back at the whole thing without even shedding a tear and feeling sad. Keep in mind that there is someone out there better that's waiting for you, and it's just a matter of time until you find her.
    deanokat likes this.
  20. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    Don't say that. it wasn't stupid, it was natural for you to react like that, anyone in your place would have thought the same, she might be thinking the same way.

    Go for a run every now and then, it really speeds up your recovery.