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I just got dumped

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Rex, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    That's a wonderful idea!
    The written word is a powerful tool!
  2. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Keep doing what you are doing, you are on the right track and you should not allow anything to stop you now. It is most important that you fully recover and get back your life. This is a time to think about yourself. Get involved in new activities and groups. Do something a little different. In time you will meet new friends if you make an effort to join groups where they don't drink.
    deanokat likes this.
  3. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    Break ups are never easy. The experience can sometimes be debilitating. But you must always remember that life should go on. You were fine before she came into your life, and you’ll be fine still even if you’re not together anymore. You are now recovering from alcoholism right? That just shows how strong a person you are. You’ll soon recover from your break-up as well. Just hang in there.
  4. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    It's been over a week now. Its crazy that someone who was such a big part of my life has dissapeared from it totally. Im so tired all the time, im so drained emotionally. I dont know what else to say other than things are the same. Kind of numb
  5. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Yeah it sure is, writing actually has really helped me over the last week or so. I like to get the pain out on the page y'know, well anyway i enjoy it and i dont enjoy much at the moment
    deanokat likes this.
  6. kurvanna

    kurvanna Member

    Focus on yourself @Rex , don't allow your EX-girlfriend to drive you into your EX-addiction. As you have already experienced, some phases in your life are not supposed to last forever. Be strong, reach out if necessary, but never belittle your conviction to live a life of your own design.
    Rex likes this.
  7. aztec99

    aztec99 Member

    First you need to take stock of your situation by asking some important questions:
    • Do you depend on her financially?
    • Are you a ladies man, or is it hard for you to start new relationships?
    • Are you a social person or more of a loner?
    • Do you feel a need to have frequent sex with a woman
    • Do you normally cook your own meals?

    If you don't depend on her for support you're in real good shape. Whether you find it easy to start new relationships or not, I recommend getting back in the race immediately. To expedite the matter I would join one or several online dating sites. I have had good look with those in the past.
  8. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    Breakups happen and they are rarely clean. In my experience, I have never been dumped and felt good about it. There's just no way around feeling depressed, but the main thing is to not find methods of escaping and instead find methods of actually facing the issue head on. Cut all contact with your ex and keep yourself busy with activities you love.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. layton

    layton Member

    Let me start off by saying I'm sorry about your girlfriend. My advice to you is that alcohol is never the answer. I'm sure that you will find a new girlfriend soon. If I were you I would get on one of these dating apps there are tons that you can choose from. Even if you are not interested in meeting anyone you could possibly meet a friend.
    Rex likes this.
  10. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    I'm sorry. All I can say is focus your mind on other things and keep occupied. Better days are coming. You won't be stuck there forever and hopefully you're already doing better.
    Rex likes this.
  11. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Im financially autonomous
    Im not a ladies man but i'm not socially awkward either
    I'm somewhere in between loner and social, probably leaning loner
    Like any man i desire women of course
    I cook my own meals

    Thanks for the advice, it was constructive
    deanokat likes this.
  12. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Thank you, i'm starting to feel a little better now. Everyone's advice and kindness hear helped so much
    deanokat likes this.
  13. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    Broken hearts feel like just that... a broken heart literally. It can wreck you even physically. What's important to remember is that you HAVE to take care of yourself. It may take weeks, months or longer for you to heal and rebound completely from the loss and hurt but you will be better for it and stronger when it's all said and done. Don't feel weak for being hurt and crying though.
    deanokat likes this.
  14. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Rex... I'm glad to hear that you're starting to feel a bit better. Know that we're here for you whenever you need us.
  15. lilfaerie28

    lilfaerie28 Active Contributor

    That is horrible! I'm so sorry to hear that. As someone that left an ex due to alcoholism, all I can say is that you have to think of you first. You are the most important person right now, and you are awesome! Recovering from alcohol addiction is hard, and just the fact that you are on the right path is amazing! I'm sorry about your ex, but I hope that you find someone the will help bring you a brighter future.
  16. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Get it together and move on. I've noticed some men after an experience like this seem to read up on what they could do differently. Some self-improvement has never hurt anyone. You just need to find a way to chalk it up and figure out what went wrong. Make sure you do something different in the next relationship. If you don't feel you were at fault in any way. Maybe you want to think about who you allow or choose to spend your time with. The only person you can change is yourself. Maybe the same thing keeps happening to you this would imply the first plan.
  17. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Update. I saw her for the first time since the breakup. Just in the street, i didnt make eye contact and just kept walking. I hate that she had the power to hurt me so much. Im spending a lot of time with a cousin i havent seen in years, hes been a great support.
  18. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    It's normal for it to hurt. Time will help, @Rex. It's great that you have a cousin who's giving you support. Keeping good thoughts for you, buddy.
    Rex likes this.
  19. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Hey thanks man you've been a great support. Your a kind soul
    deanokat likes this.
  20. Jorge Solis

    Jorge Solis Active Contributor

    Hello, if you are a recovering alcoholic, the best thing you can do, in my humble opinion, is to keep recovering until you are no longer considered an alcoholic. Remember that showing self-control by actions is a very strong deed to show someone you care about that you have changed. Please keep working hard toward your goals. I wish you the best!