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I know that it’s getting bad.

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Ahead, Sep 12, 2018.

  1. Ahead

    Ahead Member

    Why do I always come back to this drug? Every single time I finish a night of blow I promise myself never again. Yet, I always find myself getting more. It’s getting out of hand and I don’t know what to do. I can’t trust myself to stop. Please share advice.
    starryeyed likes this.
  2. peachydust

    peachydust Active Contributor

    I’m sorry that I can’t give better advice than to say that I stopped when I moved to a new state. Because I no longer had access easily. I could seek it out if I wanted to, but I don’t want to. My life has gotten infinitely better since I quit doing coke. I can offer you my support, though, if only anonymously.
    You can find the strength within you to quit, you just have to want it. And trust me, you don’t truly want it if you keep going back. Maybe ask yourself why?

    Just know that there are people here that have been in your shoes and we are here to talk. You will be okay.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener


    Addiction works that way. You don't want to do it, but your brain is used to getting that dopamine boost when you do use. Your brain has made a connection between, "oh my gosh this feeling is amazing" and the drug you used, and unfortunately the brain can win out over your thoughts of not wanting to use. I do think that seeing an addiction specialist or therapist can help you. There are certainly things you can do as well, like educating yourself about addiction and Recovery, perhaps attending a support group like Narcotics Anonymous or smart recovery, there's always a treatment program, and so on.

    Change is a process and there are stages. You're wanting to quit and you're thinking about it and you're trying. That's all part of the change process. If you're not able to quit using your willpower, then create a new plan and try different things. What works for one might not work for another, so navigate your own unique recovery path. If there are areas of your life where you're not happy or satisfied, start thinking about how you can change those around as well.

    Sometimes we just need help, so feel free to reach out to a specialist that can offer you somehow. Of course we're here to listen and offer our insight and advice. We are rooting for you and we want the best for you! Don't give up!
    True concern likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    You have a brain disease, @Ahead. That's what addiction is. Like @Dominica said, your brain has learned that the high you get from cocaine is damn nice. But with commitment and hard work, and, preferably, some professional help, you can learn to be clean and sober.

    I'm proud of you for coming here and admitting your problem. That's a huge first step. Now think about reaching out for help. Whether it's support group meetings (Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, SMART Recovery), seeing an addiction specialist (you can find one here:, or seeking treatment (you can call the number at the top of this page), start by doing something that might help you. In order to find sobriety, you need to keep taking steps in the right direction.

    We are here to provide another form of support for you, so please don't hesitate to reach out anytime you'd like. We care and we are behind you 100 percent.

    Sending you lots of positive energy, encouragement, and hope.
    True concern and Ahead like this.
  5. Ahead

    Ahead Member

    Thank you for the replies.

    I don’t think I’m at the point where I need professional help. That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.

    My issue is that I can see the addiction growing in me and I can even feel it. I physically and mentally crave it now. Ive been using around 3-4 times a month for 5 months. I’m also depressed because of the financial toll it’s taking.

    I’ve come to this forum because nobody knows about my secret demons and I just feel like I need to talk and get advice and support here.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I get where you're coming from, but the fact that you can see the addiction growing in you might be the exact reason why professional help would be a good thing. For most people, it's much easier to overcome an addiction with help than it is to do it alone. My personal opinion would be to get help before your problem gets even worse. But, of course, that's a decision that's completely up to you. We are here for you no matter what route you choose to go.
    True concern likes this.
  7. Ahead

    Ahead Member

    Yeah you have a point.

    As of now I have officially quit using. I’m going to try myself cold turkey.

    I will post updates on this thread regarding my journey.

    I can’t let this get any worse. I’ve deleted my dealers number and am prepared to give this everything I have.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Good for you, @Ahead. Come and lean on us whenever you'd like.
    True concern likes this.
  9. Ahead

    Ahead Member

    Well it’s been a few days and I’m going strong

    Actually told my close friends and family about my struggle (those who already knew I was an occasional user) last night and they’re supportive.

    Going in the right direction.
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  10. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Ahead So happy to hear this!! You are going in the right direction and that feels good, huh?

    Know that we are here to support you however we can.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  11. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Proud of you, @Ahead! And I'm happy you shared your struggle with some others. It's great to have that support on your side.

    Just keep going!
    True concern likes this.
  12. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @peachydust I remember your initial post and I will be honest....IM SO PROUD OF YOU even if it took moving to get your head clear you absolutely made the correct choice...your awesome :)
    peachydust, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  13. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Hey, @Ahead... How are you doing, my friend? It's been a while since we've heard from you. Hope things are still going well for you. Remember: We are always here. And we care!
    True concern likes this.
  14. Teetee

    Teetee Active Contributor

    Sounds exactly like me last week, trust me I used to think liket this few years ago and now I became a huge addict with thousands and thousand of dollars down the drain, so yes the financial issue can be bad, but be thankful your alive, be thankful you won't die in this state, we here many people do sadly, may God ease there souls, but we are fortunate guys like you and me who have got a chance in life again. I was a huge addict since 2014, I just quit last week, how you doing since man?
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.