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I need help and support

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Stephyk21, Mar 4, 2020.

  1. Stephyk21

    Stephyk21 Member

    I been clean a couple months now I’m having a baby I can’t even take my psych meds anymore. I just found a crack pipe and chore in front seat of my boyfriends car and he refuses to tell me he relapsed. I told him he needs to leave or get help. He refused to get help all day till just now he said if I don’t drug test him tonight he will go to iop next week. He also spent all his money on drugs this week and i now have to loan him 400 dollars to get his car fixed in the morning. I know he’ll pay me back but if he didn’t use he’d still have some money to put towards it and that bothers me. I want to be with him so bad I love him so much and I am an addict I understand how hard it is to stop but I’m asking him for our sake and childs sake to get help and me asking him to get help almost made him leave. It’s a lose lose situation and idk what to do. I have family support and I talked to my therapist. It’s just really really hard please reach out to me if anyone can suggest anything to help. I hate being a control freak and mean I get very mean being on no medication I can’t help it he brings this monster out of me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help him. I’m scared for my own sobriety and I’m literally shaking. I can’t stop thinking about that pipe it’s really getting to me and it’s extremely overwhelming. Like it’s calling me to come home. I can’t risk hurting my child I can’t have drugs be a part of my life anymore. That pipe in my hands killed me. It’s calling me to come home but I refuse to go. It wants me so bad. I can’t put my
    Baby through that I’m so scared. I did this for him he came to me crying in rehab saying he doesn’t want me to use anymore and he wants to have a baby with me so I gave him a baby the day I got out. Idk what to do now he’s the one struggling and I can’t help but to feel I made him this way
  2. Pattilu

    Pattilu Member

    It's hard to hear this, but I've been in a very similar situation with my daughters father and Heroin, it took me too long to leave and I almost lost my daughter by studying with him and trying to help him. You need to help yourself and your baby find somewhere safe to stay and let him help himself, he has to do it on his own and if he wants it. If you're meant to be together you can be together when he's sober and ready too, if not you have to let him go.
    Good luck
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Mental health has alot to do with addiction, however you must do what's in you're best interest......if you're heart can handle it.
    Much love
    Stay Strong and God Bless you
  4. azazello

    azazello Member

    Mental health is very important. My opinion is that only those people who really want can pass over drug addiction. We live in a very dangerous society, now drugs are available to be bought everywhere and is very important to have self control and take care of your kids. Those people who have addicted relatives have big chances to lose mental health which is also very important. I want to suggest for those people who have addicted friends or relatives to buy drug tests on , always to check them.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2020
  5. Bullwinkle

    Bullwinkle Community Champion

    azazello writes>>> Idk what to do now he’s the one struggling and I can’t help but to feel I made him this way<<<

    Pattilu did most of the typing for me on this one. Pattilu's comment is benchmark Al-Anon. Al-Anon taught me that believing I make addicts the way they are is the mental illness of co-dependency. Attempting to rescue them is enabling, and virtually makes them worse. Their addictive behavior is exclusively theirs.

    When my wife began attending Al-Anon which I found out via a friend of ours, her example of taking care of herself ONLY, by ceasing tying to fix me, was a seed planted. It was my first vision of my addictive problem.

    Some of the Al-Anon meetings I attend...
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2020
  6. Bullwinkle

    Bullwinkle Community Champion

    This comment is benchmark Al-Anon.
  7. CameronAlsop

    CameronAlsop Active Contributor

    I don't understand why it couldn't have been stopped or prevented in time. We were able to notice that something was going on with my son when he started hiding in his room to talk to a friend. I didn't see the friend and didn't know him so we set up a program as described at and decided to monitor all incoming calls. My son didn't suspect, but every time the person (his friend) called asking to bring him or find a dose somewhere, we made up activities for him to do to keep him occupied and out of the house. Then my son told us that he was afraid of becoming a trafficker and getting caught for possession. We didn't go to the authorities, we just forgot about it and he is grateful to me. But I don't rule out that he has tested