Hello, I don't know how to start this off, so I'll just get right into it. I'm a 16 year old male. I have 2 siblings, an older brother and a younger sister. My parents are both alcoholics. I first used a substance in early freshman year of highschool. It was all casual at first you know, I was just smoking weed and I loved it. So much that I did it every single day just getting blasted out of my mind. I continued doing that for the next year and a half or more. Throughout that time, I feel that my mental state has deteriorated. I stay in my room all day and all night. I don't sleep until 7am and often not at all. Most days I only eat 1 meal. My family doesn't care about me, they don't pay attention to me. Every single night my dad drinks a six pack of beer or two, and my mom a bottle of wine or two. All they care about is getting to the end of the day so they can get their beer and wine into their system and go to sleep after. They don't care if the kids eat, not even my 12 year old sister. And I'm talking about them because they have a profound effect on me and my behaviour. I don't know why I do but I steal beer and wine from them whenever I can. I get caught most of the time and it really does make me feel horrible and worthless the way they talk to me about it. I only come out of my room at night when everybody is asleep so I don't have to deal with the horror of confrontation. I believe that this home life anxiety and depression and just disgusting way of living has been at least partially caused by my prolonged use of cannabis and alcohol. I seriously want change, but I cannot change myself. My room also is a mess. It looks like something out of hoarders. Trash evwrywhere. I just have no motivation. I have existential crisis feelings all the time. I just don't know what to do or how to help myself with no support. Every night I think of ending my life because of the way I'm living. It is unhealthy, it is filthy, it is miserable. I have no friends except the ones who I get high with and we only hang out to get high. I left public school to do school online which makes me stay in my room even more. And gives me more time to take shrooms, smoke weed, drink, etc. I just want to stop feeling this way, but the only way I can get away from it all is by getting high. Which only makes everything worse. How can live a happy, sober, and successful life???