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I need help with my mentally ill mom.

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by maxprime94, Nov 9, 2014.

  1. maxprime94

    maxprime94 Member

    Hey everyone, I need some advice.

    My mom was one of my greatest supporters at one time and we had a great relationship until about a year ago. I really just felt like her drug addiction took over everything and I couldn't talk any sense into her. She is severely schizophrenic (is on and off on medication) and that's what makes impossible to tell her anything, especially when she is using. Does any one have any tip on how to let her know that what she is doing is affecting everyone around her!?

    I honestly don't know what to do anymore!

  2. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    I think that you should not do this by yourself, if you have a family member or a close friend of your moms that can come in with you then this will help. She needs an intervention and the more people you get to help encourage her the better it will be to convince her. You could also go and check her in yourself but the chances of her wanting to stay will be slim. Be tough and be stron but get others to help you push her to get help, she needs more than one person to show her that she has a problem.
  3. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Yes, you need to get more people, her close family and friends, all supporting her and encouraging her to get help. You might want to do some research and find out about treatment options for her ahead of time. Then when you talk to her you already have the information and can present the options to her so she knows right away that there is help out there and she just has to make the decision to go.
  4. Acube

    Acube Member

    That can be hard, I have a sister who has to deal with the same issue with her mother.Day after day she gets no relief and she gets exhausted even though she has support from others but she does het tired because she is the primary one taking care of her. However what you can do is to speak consolingly to her.Whenever she says things that may be negative use questions to change her thinking, continue to seek professional help.Also help her to build a routine for herself to stay on her medications.One final ingredient never give up for that is their life line.
  5. kevinkimers

    kevinkimers Community Champion

    When you are dealing with schizophrenia and drug addiction, it's a very touchy place to be. If you pull the whole family together with a licensed therapist or someone that your mom really respects like a clergyman or someone. If need be you may have to go extreme. Sue for power of attorney and place her in a rehab center that works with the mentally ill. Once she is off the drugs and on her meds she will see clearer. You want a place where they involve the family in the recovery.
  6. geegee

    geegee Active Contributor

    Oh no this is a tough situation! I agree with what people have already said here that you need to find other family members or friends who can help you with this. Dealing with your mom's problem alone might be too overwhelming. Anyway, I think you really need to control her schizophrenic episodes first. If she's not on the right medications, then it would be too tough to help her regarding her drug abuse. So I think professional psychiatric help before rehab is important for now.
  7. LostmySis

    LostmySis Senior Contributor

    I was in the exact same situation! And after three years of struggling to get her committed, my sister overdosed. Most schizophrenics are not violent, but the drugs made my sister that way. I put restraining orders on her after she tried to kill me. I felt so badly for her, but I wanted the judges to put her away. IF your mom threatens to hurt herself or someone else, they will hospitalize her temporarily. You can call 911 or the county crisis hotline. It might be long enough to get her on the meds and talk to her in a controlled setting.

    Unfortunately, many mentally ill use the drugs to self medicate. My sister claimed she felt good on street drugs but foggy and groggy on legal scripts. Trying to put her in the hospital can be tricky because she may get so mad at you, she might not want to talk to you. I feel for you, and will be thinking of you both.
  8. Determined2014

    Determined2014 Senior Contributor

    That is a real difficult situation, because not anly is she abusing but she has a mental illness, on that note I was wondering, because of her mental illness, can that create an option of forced rehab, putting her in a very strict rehab whether she likes it or not, because it is going to be diificult for her to understand the need of her to quit drugs.
  9. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I recommend trying to find a professional to help with the situation so you'd know the best way to go about it since it is very tricky to try and figure it out all by yourself without much professional background. I suggest finding one that isn't just interested in pushing drugs and making money though, and the best way to do so might be to screen them yourself first by trying them out personally as I assume you probably also need some stress relief and guidance yourself.
  10. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I saw the thread and I was immediately struck by it as I have always had a concern about persons dealing with mental illness. I have known one or two over the years and have reached out on occasions to help. I know only too well that it can be quite a challenging experience and if you are not careful you can run yourself into the ground trying to solve the person's problems.

    It's your mom and naturally you want to do everything you can to assist her. Yet you have to remember to take care of you. The information provided in the link below might be useful to you.
  11. NikkiDesrosiers

    NikkiDesrosiers Senior Contributor

    The mental illness paired with the substance abuse definitely puts you in a tough spot because she probably is not in the mental state to even comprehend the consequences of her actions. I feel for your situation - but it may be that you honestly need to look into getting a court order to get her medical help. If a judge thinks she could be a danger to others or herself then they will allow you to make that decision - maybe if you can get her off of the unecessary substances, it will become easier to help her see that she needs treatment for the mental condition. Best of luck to you and your mom.
  12. leahcim132

    leahcim132 Member

    "REMEMBER, don’t set yourself on fire, simply to keep others warm" .

    I find this quote appropriate in this situation. If you are suffering when you are trying to help your mother, that makes more people suffering before you helped your mother. If you can't help her even while you're suffering, find a professional to take care of her instead. Just my 2 cents.
  13. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    It's a very difficult situation for you and your family. I think that it's too much for you alone to deal with this, and that it might be a really good idea if you could get in touch with someone who has experience with this kind of situation, such as a counselor or some organisation that helps families with addiction problems. Perhaps there are other members in your family that will be able to help you establish some kind of plan to bring about a change for the better.
  14. Nikkishea21

    Nikkishea21 Active Contributor

    If it is at the point where she is schizophrenic then you just have to rely on the help of psychiatrist to get her the assistance that she requires. At this point you will not be able to get to her it is the medicine that will have to do the work. It is important however to ensure that it is given to her at the specified time and she actually is taking it. In that sense, you may require the help of other family members in order to ensure that she is on track with her treatment. If she is taking a turn for the better, then you along with a psychologist can talk to her and maybe getting her in one of those support groups to help her cope.

    I am hoping that things will turn around for your mother and that you will get the help that you need to deal with the issue. You mentioned that she cared for you when you and now you must do the same for her. Do not give up just keep on doing your part, she will be thankful that you were there for her when it has passed.

    All the best.
  15. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi maxprime94. Sorry to hear about your mom's condition. I believe that if she's severely schizophrenic that you can't talk about anything sensible to her, then you can't make her understand her negative effects on all of you.

    I agree with what everyone else is saying here. The best thing to do right now is to consult a professional like a psychiatrist to treat her mental state. If you can do it as early as possible, please do. You said her drug addiction took over her. Thus, all the more that your mother needs help.

    The good thing about her condition is there is hope in curing her. As long as you seek professional help immediately, stick to the treatment and give her the proper support and treatment, she can lead a more productive and normal life.

    If you believe in God, pray for guidance and strength. Wishing you and your mom all the best, maxprime94.
  16. SamClemensMT

    SamClemensMT Member

    You definitely have to be determined to get this problem under control. As for now don't expect your mother to be of any help to you. You need to get some mental health professionals involved and do what you must to 1. get her back on her medication and 2) get her clean. Then you can bring her back into the picture an pray that the ship can move forward without another relapse. All the best.
  17. c9h2ua

    c9h2ua Member

    It is a really sad story because drug is drawing you and your mother apart. However, try to talk to her with patience, I think it is best way to fix the relationship between you guys. Tell her what you are thinking because it is a way to show her your love!! Also, always believe in you and your mother!!
  18. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Really? Do your best to get her to go gluten free. A study from the American Medical Association or something relates schizophrenia to gluten. Eliminate it and you cure the illness. She may like this alternative. My mom is on medication and she still is a witch. She eats tons of gluten packed foods too. Give it a shot. I really don't blame your mom for not wanting medication. The real issue is all around she needs to detox those meds and clean up the diet of processed foods. She may respond to this kind of info and be willing to do it if she anti-medication. Look up the connection it is all on-line.