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I need someone to tell me i can stop before its too late

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by In need of change, Mar 19, 2017.

  1. Cocaine is taking over my life and its ruining my relationships with the closest people around me. I've been through some very hard, dark times and sometimes i use them as an excuse to take because i'm feeling sorry for myself at the time. I know its time to stop but my willpower just isn't as strong as i need it to be. I just need you guys to be as mean and real to me as possible just to make me upset and guilty for taking this evil substance before its too late and i'm laying 6 feet under the ground. Guys be as mean and nasty as you need to be...GO
    Jai50 likes this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @In need of change... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm glad you reached out for help with your cocaine problem. That's a courageous and important first step.

    I'm not going to be mean and nasty, my friend. I'm just going to tell you what you asked me to tell you: You CAN stop.

    Will stopping be easy? Nope. Will you sometimes feel like going back to coke because the quitting is such a bitch? Probably. But everything you go through and feel will be entirely worth it. Living without a dependence on cocaine will mean a healthier, happier, easier life for you. You will no longer face the physical and mental side effects that cocaine brings. And you'll be free of the potential legal and financial nightmares that cocaine can impose on people.

    I suggest you find an addiction specialist in your area and set up an appointment with them. They can assess your situation and suggest the best next steps for you. You can also look into support group meetings like Narcotics Anonymous (NA) or Cocaine Anonymous (CA). Being around people who know exactly what you're going through and feeling can be incredibly helpful and comforting.

    You CAN quit cocaine. But you have to want it, and you have to be willing to work hard at it. If you want to quit, and you're willing to work hard, you CAN break free from this nasty drug. But if instead you keep doing what you're doing...well, then you might very well end up laying 6 feet under the ground.

    We're here to help and support you however we can. You can come here and lean on us anytime.

    I'm sending you lots of positive vibes, hope, and encouragement.
    panamacityss likes this.
  3. panamacityss

    panamacityss Member

    You can do it.there is help.it took me 20+yrs to get help for opiates and now I've been on MMT for 5yrs,it was hard to give it up but its a vicious cycle.good luck hang in there
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2017
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @In need of change... Just wondering how you're doing, my friend. Check in with us if you get a chance.
  5. I'm in the same boat. I recently snorted 3.5 grams of cocaine and drank an excessive amount of alcohol at the same time all by myself. I'm honestly scared to death of doing that to myself. It's been 3 days since I've done it and I am adiment on never touching it again. The reason I'm so freaked out is because my mind hasn't felt the same since. I'm worried I gave myself permanent brain damage. I need some serious wisdom from anyone who is willing. I just want to feel normal again
  6. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Twain11211Betwix... I'm sorry you had that experience. I'm not a medical doctor, but I think it's unlikely that you did any permanent damage to your brain by doing what you did. That said, I think your body is going to need some time to recover from the incident. If you're not feeling better in a few more days, or if you're overly concerned now, I would consult a doctor. No need to be embarrassed or ashamed of anything. Your health and peace of mind are the most important things.

    Sending you positive, healing vibes.
    Lostboy8731 likes this.
  7. Maytrix

    Maytrix Member

    Hi In Need!
    Aren't we all in need of something?? .....and sometimes that need is "loving ones self. We hate ourselves, and shouldn"t we, after all ,we are so weak minded, we are on the verge of losing the people most special in our lives, then where will we be---just deeper in hell, since that's the road we are taking anyway.
    We are so despicable we want people to be "mean and vicious" to us since we believe (hope) that will finally shake us up. Ya know I don't think anyone can be more "mean and vicious" then we already are to ourselves.

    Alcoholic ,in recovery 30 years....not bragging just telling you what finally made me hit that wall and start over.
    "LOVE", O yeah ain't that beautiful, NEXT??....seriously
    Everyone always told me I have to love myself----IF I could love myself I wouldn't be a weak and sniveling alcoholic ,
    or drug abuser, or gambler yada, yada, yada. I was spectacular in the 80's, everyone wanted to know me , always at the best parties or Disco ( you might be a little young for "Disco") It was a haven for addicts, we could drink, snort,shoot up, double down---whatever we wanted because we All were.
    I can say spectacular because it was the 80's and I am now 65, not so spectacular. LOL

    I lost my father a 6 and my mother was my world ( and alcohol) . I got into a pretty bad accident drunk. No one was hurt but what if it had been a carload of people (Of course they would be children in my world)How could I face my mother knowing I was a drunk and had hurt or killed someone.
    This women that gave up everything to raise me.....It would simply break her heart, and that my friend is what you have to find.. If you can't do it for yourself, think of someone you love very much, and how does your life HURT them. Maybe that will do It
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2017
    Lostboy8731 and deanokat like this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Maytrix... Thanks for your insightful comment. And congratulations to you on your 30 years of recovery. That's amazing! I think people who read your post will definitely be inspired. Thanks so much for sharing with us!
  9. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    @In need of change my poor tortered friend. Its clear your hurting deeply but as my friend @deanokat said i to am not here to be mean to you. This place is about love and kindness and support and thats what were here to do for you. Is support you and motivate you to go get help and get on the sober train. You've already made leaps and bounds just in the way you expressed your desire to quit in your post. Ill will be routing for you and praying friend. Keep in touch and let us know how things turn out
    deanokat likes this.
  10. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    Try not to panic your self friend, i can assure you your only feeling the effects of such a large amount of each substance. Im willing to bet lots of sleep water and eventually a warm shower and some food and in a few days youll start feeling yourself again. Prayers and blsssings friend. Keep us posted take care @Twain11211Betwix
    True concern, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  11. Hi there lost boy, damn...I can't believe you snorted all that coke!
    See when I was using I would have mixed it with some heroin and shot it up-speedballing-never do it!
    There is no way I can be mean to you for snorting what amounts to a small amount of coke if that's all you've done and it's been a few days. The only reason you don't feel right is because yes that was a lot to do in a night, especially if alcohol is involved. And on top of that suffering terribly for a few days after a coke binge is the price you pay for getting so high on coke.
    What goes up must come down...and coke goes way way way up. So it's natural to feel down for a few days. I would go see a doctor if it hasn't gotten better after about four days.
    But look, I have never been a fan of uppers, and never ever of amphetamines. However I am a recovering heroin addict and during my roughly ten years of IV use I did mix alot of cocaine with my opiates. It was kinda like the best of both worlds...until the crash. And I promise you that I will never be able to forget how horrible cocaine crashes can be. I'm under the impression that you are not dependant on this yet, but deffdefini addicted. Look into this there is a difference between the two. And if you need something to just make you feel bad enough to make you put it down for good then here's food for thought.
    When you become physically and mentally dependent on the drug cocaine then that horrible feeling you felt won't just be a crash. That will be everyday of your life you don't use cocaine. And by the way I can assure you-i even experienced it myself-youll stop even worrying about getting high to forget. You're going to be getting coke just so you can function. Alcohol speeds this process up also...FYI.
    If that's not enough then i am at a loss.
    I'm terribly sorry for the hard dark times....ive had my fair share. But everything that was bothering me when I got high just grew bigger while I was coming down.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  12. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    @Joshstillclean hey there friend I think you may have ppl mixed up as I never mentioned that I did it. I was replying to someone else and lending advice from my past. To be honest I was in recovery for 2.5 years from slamming meth everyday. But recently I had life flip completely and ended up relapsing on meth again. Anyway I'm day 4 into my self detox at home as there's no beds in treatment for a while so I'm a one man battle this time. I hope you stay on a good path and feel for you as well. My story of is on my wall if you wish to read it and know what I've actually gone through. Take care and blessing to you
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  13. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    True concern and deanokat like this.
  14. devastated1

    devastated1 Member

    IN NEED OF CHANGE

    READ my post "letter to the addict who stole my daughter's heart" NOW
    and get a job. Get TWO jobs.

    Seriously, having to show up and pull your own weight will keep you from being "bored" and off the streets.
    It might even result in a sense of pride and the ability to repay those you've harmed, have "nice" things and help others.

    It's not always fun, but it seems so much easier than having to spend days and nights scamming money or things to sell and panicking when you run out of dope, not to mention all the awful disgusting, degrading things you'll eventually do
    to get by.

    Please tell me WHY you don't already know this? WHY is it so hard to NOT throw away everything good in your life?

    I might come off as being insincere, but I am honestly seeking the answers to these questions and I will try to help you.
  15. devastated1

    devastated1 Member

    MAYTRIX

    thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!
    All the best wishes in the world from a mom who will never stop giving all for her family.
  16. devastated1

    devastated1 Member

    Deanokat,

    But aren't embarrassment and shame appropriate indicators of the necessity for change?
    If everything is "ok" and "not your fault", why even try to alter your course? How do you know you need to?
  17. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    If someone is embarrassed or ashamed about their addiction to the point where it makes them hesitant to seek medical help, it doesn't do anyone any good...and it can cause someone's condition to worsen. Addiction is a brain disease and it's okay to seek help for it. The stigma that is still attached to addiction is keeping people from getting the assistance they need, and that's not right.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  18. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @devastated1 I dare say many are ashamed to the core of their addiction...their choices...their inability to figure out how to get and stay clean/sober..... but don't reach out for help due to various reasons. Shame and embarrassment are two...

    I know you're seeking answers, but addiction is not cut and dry. It's not black and white....and you can have 2 addicts who are unable to stop using, unable to stop lying, and hurting others, and there can be 20 different reasons as to why....

    Also, I think when an addict thinks, "This is ok", they are lying to themselves...deceived... as you said. For sure.

    I have many questions too.... for the addict and the loved ones of addicts....
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  19. devastated1

    devastated1 Member

    I see your point, but the "victim" mentality is shifting the burden of guilt toward the regular folks who just want to live a good life, if they refuse to have anything to do with addicts and their issues. Denial seems to be what keeps them in limbo. Shouldn't there be stigma against bad behavior?

    Please don't take my questions as anything other than discussion.

    I am of the mind that addicts are like children who are not made to apologize for wrongdoing. They (maybe have a brain defect which predisposes them to addiction) don't see it as a problem, until it is, and then everyone tells them that it's not their fault, that they can't help it and we love them as they are. So they, in their confused state, are further befuddled and just accept the condition. Why would you seek help if you've already been told it can't be helped?
  20. Aodafml2

    Aodafml2 Active Contributor

    Hey Bud,
    I'm brand new to this forum but cocaine and I go way back...I think the last thing you'd need is to be treated like ****. I am battling and losing too..but I refuse to lose anymore than I alredy have...Deanoknot.(hope that's right) what he said is what we need. may not seem fun, I feel ya, I'm sure everyone here does for the most part..idk I'm new like I said...I say,"get mad at the drug" its wanting to control ya..hope it dont..good luck
    deanokat, True concern and Dominica like this.