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I think my husband drinks to much

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by StellaBean@2020, Sep 10, 2020.

  1. HELP. My husband and I have been together for 19 years married 16 years. He has always drank and over the years are most vicious fights have included alchohol. He drink before he comes home in the car, he hides the "effendince" but I find them. He is a completely different person as soon as that drink hits his lips! When he's not drink, I love his personality. He's a great father and a very hard worker too! I don't know how to handle it anymore, I'm just tired of it. I can tell as soon as he walks in the door that he has been drinking and that will automatically change my mood and I don't want to be around him. I have tired over and over again talking to him, telling him how it makes me feel but nothing ever changes! I stay home with our girls so he will bring up that he works so much for us all, which he does and provides everything for us, so I feel trapped mentally and emotionally! His mother has had issues as well and on my side my dad and grandfather so I'm so sensitive to this! I do drink but only on occasion and for celebration. I really need guidance.
  2. Bullwinkle

    Bullwinkle Community Champion

    Al-Anon helped me realize that doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results is a form of insanity. In other words, no matter what I do in continuous communication with the addict that's in denial is futility, and shows me that I'm just as sick as the alcoholic / addict.

    I've been a member of Al-Anon for 4 decades, and I still have to practice not being sucked into / trapped / held hostage by alcoholic insanity in relationships. I learned that an addicted provider in a family or in business that uses their financial power / support as an excuse for their abusive behavior is mentally ill. These types commonly play the "victim role" where they're the victim of those that they financially support, which justifies their abusive addictive / alcoholic behavior.

    Bottom line, Al-Anon taught me that I must release the alcoholic in my life with love and take care of myself ONLY. How I began to indirectly learn this was via my wife, when I discovered she was attending Al-Anon meetings, because I was the alcoholic abuser. Her "example" of releasing me with love by no longer playing my abusive games began my road of recovery from alcoholism.

    Here's a page of links, anyone can participate, some meetings can be zoomed and it's free of charge.

    https://www.google.com/search?q=al-anon zoom meetings&oq=Al-Anon&aqs=chrome.3.0j46j0l3j46j0.24714j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
  3. HopebTired

    HopebTired Member

    I’m in a very similar situation and it’s breaking me down. If you don’t mind, may you share how your wife released you with love?

  4. Don't this, just take step to control. Nowadays alcohol drinking problem increase so much
  5. Don't this, just take step to control. Nowadays alcohol drinking problem increase so much.
  6. Jan1111M

    Jan1111M Member

    Not only this problem increase so much