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I want my sister to quit smoking

Discussion in 'Tobacco / Nicotine' started by bombshell, Feb 24, 2015.

  1. bombshell

    bombshell Member

    I have hinted to my sister that smoking is gross and believe her children will be smokers (based on statistics). I do not mention it very often because I know it's annoying to be hounded by other people to do something you don't want to do. She has been smoking since she was about 14 so she has smoked for more than half of her life. I know that she has tried to quit in the past, but that was years ago and now she doesn't seem to care about quitting. I worry about her.

    I don't know if I am just venting here, but if anyone has any advise that would be great. I know I can't force anyone to stop their own bad habits, but it's gross as well as unhealthy.
  2. ClassyTulip

    ClassyTulip Member

    You have to understand that your sister's choices differ from your own in such a way that what you think is gross isn't her understanding. With that being said, try not to approach her with that being the number one reason why you want her to stop smoking. Try a more informative approach while relating it to the welfare of her children. She's a mother first so relating that to the welfare of her children may constitute for her decision to eventually quieting. I've experienced this with a friend of mine and went the informative way myself. Although he quite one year later, he eventually quite.
  3. bombshell

    bombshell Member

    I think that is a the great idea. Though I bring it up casually I haven't really sat her down to discuss it seriously because I can't quite figure out the best approach. I don't want to be a nag and bring it up all the time, but I figure if I have something prepared than I can get it out at one sitting and see how she digests my approach to this. It's been bothering me for years. Thanks for insight.
  4. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It is gross and unhealthy but she'll only stop when she wants to. Giving up smoking is something that you'll only succeed at if you actually want to do it. Quitting purely to keep someone happy never lasts. E-cigs could work though - I successfully quit using them, with very little cravings.
  5. Rowe992

    Rowe992 Senior Contributor

    Well I think the best way to make her stop is to not only tell her about the effects of smoking but to also show her. Let her see the images and videos of people who have gotten lung cancer and died as a result of smoking. Also ask her if she doesn't want to be around long enough to see her children grow and become a grandmother.
  6. purplepapaya

    purplepapaya Member

    In my experience. someone will quit when they are ready and not a moment sooner. I understand wanting someone to quit, and it is painful to watch them hurt their health and even the health of those around them, and I understand that you are probably upset and frustrated, but in my opinion no amount of preaching is going to help. Most smokers I've known (including myself, previously - I have been tobacco free for years, though) know the risks and know it's considered gross, but people telling them does not make them any more likely to stop. I hope she does quit one day, but I can't think of anything that you can do that would facilitate that. It has to be her choice, for her health and her children.
  7. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Here's the thing about people who don't care what you think and won't stop smoking. They will not stop because they really don't care about what it does to there body. But one thing is for certain, she might not want that for her children. Instead of addressing her as she being the only one you are concerned for, mention that her kids will be affected by her smoking. Show her videos of how it affects kids on second hand smoke. Pictures, videos, whatever it takes. The indirect approach to solve the problem.
  8. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is right that it's hard to force someone to quit if it is her own choice. Although I think better to still remind her that it will be not good for her and her kids. But not to the point that it will annoy her and could start a conflict or fight with you.
  9. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Got to agree with Josh here. The only real chance you have is to focus on what her smoking is doing to the kids. Don't nag her about stopping as such, just remind her what the smoke can do. I know it's wrong to use children as a bargaining tool but in this case, it's probably the right thing to do.
  10. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    At 28 years of age, your sister is fast approaching the prime of her life. Her biological clock it ticking loud and clear and given the current state of affairs, the future, her future, looks bleak. With the myriad of risks associated with female smoking, you owe it upon yourself and to her future kids to act now. You have the power to intervene and i want to urge you to be relentless in your pursuit of making her to stop, no matter how much she gets annoyed.
  11. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    Unfortunately, we cannot control the lives of the ones we love. I know how you feel because I've been trying to get my girlfriend to stop smoking for years on end but she simply wouldn't listen. I always remind her that once she's pregnant, she would be forced to quit but she would be too weak to do so. She then says she can quit smoking whenever she wants to and the reason she keeps doing it is because she never intended to quit in the first place. You see, the smoker's mind is a corrupted place but if they don't wish to make a change for themselves, there's little their entourage can do to eradicate the issue.