Im 23 years old. It started with adderall in 2013 then in 2014 someone gave me what I thought was coke. I been snorting meth for 2 years now on and off. I have stayed clean for months or weeks at a time then anxiety creeps in. I start a new job or I feel like I want to be more bubbly in a specific situation I impulsively go back to it. Its superficial reasons really. I fear that I dont know how to deal with life now since I fall back into it when im feeling stressed out or low in self esteem. I feel i have grown with it like a childhood friend. Does anyone else feel this way? Do you have any words of advice? Im currently feeling numb and I hate this non emotion but I just dont want to go back and I cant talk to my friends they cant relate.