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i was "that" guy

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by ImSikOfIt, Sep 2, 2018.

  1. ImSikOfIt

    ImSikOfIt Member

    ill sum it up basically, i was suicidal by 12 so i thats when i started smoking weed. i had managed to negate the ever present peer pressure untilo i had severe dental issues and kept getting hydrocodone, i had been taking it as labeled but after 3 months of this when they cut me off it was hell. so i had astarted taking 5 tramadol at a time and that got me used to drugs a bit, i decided myself to try ecstasy but i was a bad point mentally and it really did help at the moment. after that my home boys mom got cancer so i put him up n my trailer while this was happenening and she'd give her pills to him so he could sell, they made her sick. my first time doing a real opiate i did far too many roxi's 30mg oxycodone instant release. i dont remember how many but i remember being at a homies parking for wifi sniffin them, my homie wass just feeling generous and didnt think id keep saying yeah if i couldnt handle it. but i lost all control of my neck and remember being like oh god i fkd up. had my bro drag my to my room and leave me sitting upright n my bed. soo0n after that i was getting 8mg hydromorphone and 200mg morph sulfates time release. and i kept reading online of peaople sayin g hydromorphone was safer to inject than black tar and just ate into the whole its amazing concept, becuz it was. but the after math was hell. i was about to turn 17 my first time i'v' by the time i was about to turn 18 i was so tired of getting dope sick, thought the only way id get clean was if i killed myself. had 400mg of morph litteraly secs from doing it when my bro stormed in saying oh **** no, i have no idea how he knew i his it well, spent the whole week at peace smiling, knowing id stop hurting soon. well spent my 18th bday n the behavioural health center and diagnosed schizophrenia bcuz of all the drugs, im not schizo tho and they just made me way worse so instead of sticking with the treatment i went with same homie to go do meth. first time around a group and it was hella fun. but then that got bad to obviously, i was always taking something or wahtever to get high, all the popular street drugs ive done n excess except pcp ketamine DMT or mescaline. everything from 2c-b, to bathsalts ive been there. but 2 years ago i finally got **** together. but this last month i turned 25 and i spent almost the whole month wired. i decided im sick of it and came here. idk what to say really other than ill be sober soon but i feel empty right now. been up 5 days and feel like death. broke my pipes flushed my sack. i dont wanna risk what i have.
    Dominica likes this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @ImSikOfIt hello there. thanks for sharing a bit of your background with us. i'm glad that you are ready to call it quits once again. you can do this! and, you'll feel so much better. if you find you need extra help, please reach out to addiction specialist or support group....

    and know that we are definitely here for you!
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @ImSikOfIt... I replied to your post in another thread, so please look for that. I'm sorry that you had a relapse, but I know you can get back on track. Don't let that relapse bring you down. Use it as a learning experience!

    We're all rooting for you. Hit us up anytime you need help, okay?
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @ImSikOfIt Hey there. Just reading through your thread and wondering how you're doing. If you get a chance would love to hear from you!
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Definitely check in with us when you have a spare minute, @ImSikOfIt. We're here to help and support you however we can.