An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

I was wrong

Discussion in 'Other Recovery Support Groups' started by kana_marie, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    Before I found this forum, (before, during, an for 3 years after my addiction), I could not understand what people got out of this. Talking to other people about your feelings and your pain was my idea of hell. Using words like "strength, recovery, or even recovering addict"'sounded so cheesy. It almost seemed like a cult. It sounded weak and desperate. Well, here I am now. I'm telling strangers about my feelings. I'm usind words like recovering addict, sobriety, and strength. And I have devoted myself entirely to what I once regarded as a cult. These words, listening to people talk about what they've been through, and opening up to people about what I have been through has allowed me to remain a recovering addict rather than go back to being just an addict. It's crazy how something can change so drastically in you mind so quickly.
    GenevB, amethyst and medievalmama like this.
  2. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    That's so true. Sometimes we find ourselves wrong and quite shocked and surprised at things we prejudged if that makes sense. I think that judging after experiencing is the best thing that a person can do, because if you never try how can you decide? But it's also good to hear you're a recovering addict!
    kana_marie likes this.
  3. medievalmama

    medievalmama Community Listener Community Listener

    I completely understand. My life today, married 20 years, 2 kids, 2 cars, 2 dogs, a mortgage, etc., would have been my worst nightmare 'back in the day.' Yet, I am supremely content with my sober life, in recovery. I can experience joy beyond what any high gave me. I have peace of mind and freedom. I am so grateful.
    kana_marie likes this.
  4. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I'm so glad I gave this forum a chance. I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong. Especially when it turns out like this.
  5. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    If you repeat something for long enough, it finally becomes a reality. That goes for negative as well as positive thoughts and ideas. It might take a while to see the point of positive affirmations when you feel down and depressed, but keep working on it, and you'll be amazed what you attract into your life. And how your life might suddenly change unexpectedly for the better.
  6. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    True. Admitting that we're wrong sometimes really helps, it also humbles us because we get to know that we often are wrong about things and we're not always right, which shows us that we are human beings and we accept that fact that we won't always be right.
  7. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I learned a long te ago that not being able to admit I was wrong was keeping me from learning anything new. Now I won't hesitate to say it. I'd rather people question my intelligence because I was wrong about something, than know that I'm ignorant because I can't.
  8. May102014

    May102014 Active Contributor

    Well now you know, not all the things you thought of are what they really are. There's nothing to be ashamed of, making a mistake is human nature. The only important thing is that you realized your wrongs and did something about it. Life is too short for regrets and looking back so live life to the fullest!
    Last edited: May 2, 2015
  9. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    My husband is against meetings. I really don't know why he is against them but he is. He has said that he doesn't see how talking about it will help, he said that would just be far too depressing to do. While he was in rehab he had to attend meetings but he said that he really doesn't remember any of it due to just becoming sober. He says it is just really a blur. My hope for him is to start attending meetings. He is off on the weekends and could attend them Sat and Sundays. We do not have any meetings super close, but there are some within an hour of us. Maybe he will someday. I'm glad that you are finding them beneficial and that you do not see them as a cult any longer.
  10. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I see. I hope you stay there for him and try as much as possible to support him till he will agree one day. I'm sure someone who is suffering would appreciate others being around them and loving them as much as possible.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  11. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Well, this is right, sometimes you can't even imagine the things you could do without the substance of addiction, it's almost like it creates another personality in you. I'm glad to hear that you got on the right track,but some part of me, as a smoker always wonders if the real myself is me the smoker, or me before I got to smoke my first cigarette. You know, you always wonder if your addiction didn't actually discovered your true self.
  12. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I've been on the right track for a while now. It is just all these things I thought were silly, before, are the same things that has kept me on that track.
  13. IrishHeather

    IrishHeather Active Contributor

    I know what you are saying... I was right there with you as well. I used to laugh so hard when I saw AA meetings and groups of recovering addicts sitting around sharing past experiences and such. I used to think that it was the stupidest thing I had ever seen in my life. But, like you here I am! I have found that this type of interaction has been a pillar of strength and a cornerstone that I have built my sobriety on!
    kana_marie likes this.
  14. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    I get upset that he doesn't attend meetings but I don't badger him about not going. I do feel that if he would have went then he would not have relapsed. I don't know maybe my thinking is wrong. But I will stand by him and continue to support him and try to help him realize that being sober isn't bad at all.
    kana_marie likes this.
  15. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    That's great. I mean, did you actually ask him why he doesn't attend meetings? What's the reason?
    aimeep80 likes this.
  16. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    It sounds to me like he's lucky to have you. When you lose friends/family because of your addiction, it makes it so much harder to not give up.
    aimeep80 likes this.
  17. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    Yes, I have asked him and he says that he doesn't like sharing his feelings with anyone, especially with strangers. I told him that they are or have struggled the same as he has and that they may need to hear his story, and he just shrugs it off. He doesn't communicate very well lol
  18. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    Thank you so much. He is the love of my life, my soul mate. I just couldn't give up on him. Many did..actually most did. We were in this world alone it seemed. It was a very dark time for him and I tried to be the light in his life the best that I could. I hurt when he hurts. A lot of people wondered why I didn't leave and don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times that I wanted to, but I knew that this wasn't the man that I married. His addiction didn't start until he was about 26..we have been together since we were 16 years old...so I just couldn't walk away. He's relapsed on alcohol and while it is hard to accept this, I'll still stand by him. I'm certainly no saint but I just took "for better or worse" literally I suppose. Thank you again for your kind reply and blessings to you!
  19. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    Sometimes that one person is all you need. I tried so hard to get my husband to leave me. I pushed him away as hard as I could. But he always stayed. He was the only person that stood by me. And, even after trying to scare him off, he was always there. Even when neither of us wanted him there, lol.
  20. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    We are extremely happy to have you, kana_marie. Thank you for sharing your stories here and do not ever be afraid to talk about your issues to anyone.