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If you can't beat them, join them?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by aimeep80, May 12, 2015.

  1. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    This quote can apply in several situations for a favourable outcome. With drugs and alcohol, I think this approach should be completely rejected.
  2. mooray

    mooray Active Contributor

    The fastest way to failure is to heed every advice and not heed any advice. I stand my ground when I strongly believe my principles. It is either my partner will choose the drugs or me. That simple. I wouldn't trust an addict anyway.
  3. Hyperion

    Hyperion Active Contributor

    It is just a quote - doesn't make it dogma. I consider using a person's drug of choice near them or offering it to them to be highly immoral.
  4. moreno58

    moreno58 Active Contributor

    I have never done this nor would I for the same reason you mentioned, it would make them think it was ok. It could maybe even make them drink more, I don't know for sure, but I do know that I would not want to take a chance of them thinking it is ok to keep drinking just because everybody is doing and are going to do it regardless. It is hard, for everyone and frustrating and sometimes you do just feel like throwing in the towel.
  5. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    If you can't beat, them join them is something we often say to mean that we should back down from a fight. If your opponent is unbeatable, at least pretend that you are now their friend. Unfortunately, that proverb does not apply in a situation like. At no point should we do anything to encourage the behavior of an addict. As a matter of fact, doing this could cause us to conform and convert.
  6. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Immoral indeed and it makes you wonder how good of a friend you are. Good friends will consider the ill effects of taking drugs and will always do something to convey this truth to their addicted friends.
  7. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    No i haven't done this neither would i advocate for it. To be honest i think it would be counterproductive as the addicted person would never see the sense in leaving their alcoholism. Worse still, you may also fall into that trap of addiction yourself thereby creating more problems for the both of you.
  8. BreezyB0412

    BreezyB0412 Member

    I decided to try this once, I was so beyond fed up. So I basically said "screw it" I woke up on the bathroom floor covered in puke, there were holes in the walls, & I didn't remember any of it. I had to much built up anger to drink with my addict. It was a mistake I never made again.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I guess you could say my wife and I did the opposite. When our son was in treatment for heroin addiction, my wife and I both quit drinking to set an example--not only for our addicted son, but for our younger son as well. We wanted to show them that life could be lived happily without any mind-altering substances. That was seven years ago. Living sober has been such a wonderful thing.