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If you knew one of your teen or adult children was doing drugs or selling, would you turn them in?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by suntasticsunni, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. any can answer, but i prefer this to be directed to those with these issues in their life. i should add to the question, would you turn them in, after they had several attempts at treatment. because for those who have not had treatment, that would take preference over turning them into the police. but, what about after many treatments, and no change? be sincere and honest about what you would do, not what you should do?
  2. shadowsupernature

    shadowsupernature Senior Contributor

    OK that's a hard one my oldest brother was a dug attic and he neatly robed a bank because of it but the best way my parents did was they used to burn any of the drugs that they found and disposed of them. But he just keep going out and buying more. That's when I stepped in because my parents gave up because they tried every thing they could think and they were just stressed. I followed him under safety in a car or just a person walking around. When I saw the dealers that my brother was with I took one picture of the drug dealers, so I new what they looked like. To make sure that they were the only dealers he hanged round with, I followed him two more times to make sure and it was. So after that the picture took of the dealers I gave to the police and the location of where they dealt the drugs. The cops went undercover and busted the dealers that my older brother goes to. After that he panicked and got charged with attempted robbery, but he told me that the reason he stopped himself from robbing the bank was the look of our mum and dad's face when they tried to stop me from taking drugs. After the court case he got let off because of the story he told, but he got a $2000 fine though. But my parents didn't care about the fine because could of finally stopped taking drugs; the best part was that he did and we busted a a drug dealer.
  3. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    Under some circumstances I would think it was the right thing for you to do however if he is not going to be offered any treatment then what will turning him into the Police achieve. He will only potentially end up in gaol (but probaby not because everyone knows the gaols are full to bursting) and that won't even interrupt his drug supply. Its such a shame that for people like your son they can't just be prescribed the heroin so that they can take it safely and don't have to spend a good part of the day getting the money then scoring. In Zurich they are experimenting with prescribing heroine and finding that it enables people to ultimately get their life back together because they can work instead of spending all their time scoring. I wouldn't turn him into the Police on this occassion because I don't think it will achieve anything.
  4. tarverten

    tarverten Senior Contributor

    If I knew my child was doing drugs, I would attempt to get them treatment first.
    If that didn't work, yes, I would turn them in, the same goes for selling drugs, I would have no problem turning them over to the police.
    My girls will also tell you--yes, I would turn them in.

    When one of my girls was very young, she took a little peice of candy--I am sure she didn't think it was stealing.
    When we got home, she took out the little wrapper from her pocket and I asked her about it. I took her right back to that store with the wrapper and had her tell the manager what she had done.
  5. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    Yes, my father was a drug dealer and if I knew what I know now I would have called the police.

    I have suffered emotionally tremendously on our family my father being a drug dealer and knowing the people he harmed and hurt. My Dad eventually died at the age of 35 when I was 11 years old.

    Is your son 18? My father used my Grandmother with $40,000 in loans and took advantage of the people he loved
  6. trevermorgana

    trevermorgana Active Contributor

    Doing drugs rehab, selling drugs I call the police. This may sound diabolic but I've walked that road before and I have at least a good idea of what could happen there, so as a parent I need to protect my child. I'm not a parent though and I'm sure its a lot harder to make a decision like that for your child. Realistically speaking counseling first and a second offense would lead to slightly more drastic measures.
  7. Totalarmordestine

    Totalarmordestine Senior Contributor

    Doing drugs? No. Selling them? ... Well, that's a different story. There is no addiction to selling drugs, so I would most definitely turn my child in. If I thought my child had a serious addiction, I would however attempt over and over again to make them better in a rehabilitation center.
  8. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I've known people who knew their children were into the use and selling of drugs. Most of them never did turn their children in because hey, there's that parental love and lasting hope that their kids will change.

    One family however had enough with their son and handed him over to the cops. I think I would do the same especially if all help has been offered and the kids won't change. Thing though is being locked up may make things worse. The kid could meet up with others who are worse than him/her and once they get out, they'll go straight back into business and there'd be no way you could help them then. If you are willing to risk that then it's OK to turn a drug-dealing kid over to the authorities.
  9. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Never being confronted with this situation before I can honestly say that I really don't know what I would do. I know I would be devastated. I hope I never have to face anything like this. My son is 14 and we talk openly about drugs. He is not interested and is very aware of what they can do to you. I have shared my experience with him because I do not want him to get hurt or into trouble. So far, so good. He is a good and sensible child and tells me about what his friends do. He does know some who smoke marijuana, but nothing else. He has been offered, but refused.
  10. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    Eh, I don't have kids, but my family (father, uncle, maybe my cousin at some point) and friends have been known to resell drugs a few times I think (mostly weed or hash, with a few other things maybe). I honestly would not be comfortable with anyone selling hard dangerous stuff like meth, crack or heroin... and in those situations, I am not sure about how I would act. Turning them in? Hard to say. It would depend on the way they'd respond to simply talking to them first etc. It'd be a hard decision anyhow.

    I'd never turn anyone in for selling weed, hash, or the occasionnal "party stuff".
  11. mcvetko3

    mcvetko3 Member

    Depends on the consequences of their actions really. I generally wouldn't turn anyone in that was close to me, but if this person habitually endangered lives of other people (like some drug dealers are wont to do) I would consider it, even if it made me feel like a traitor. Sometimes by doing something like that you also help the person you turned in.
  12. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    If they were using then I would do my best to get them some help for their addiction. Selling on the other hand it a completely different situation. I would hate the thought of the affect they were having on other people's lives and what they were doing to other people by providing them with these drugs. It is hard to say what you would do unless you were actually in the situation but I would like to think that I would do the right thing and turn them in so that they couldn't hurt anymore people. By turning them in you are also giving them a chance of getting their live back on track. I hope I never find myself in such a situation.
  13. MyLife

    MyLife Member

    The most difficult point for any addict is finding their bottom. Finding out just how low they can get and deciding that enough is enough. Some people find it very easily with just the threat of getting in trouble. Some need to fall all the way down until they have lost everything, family, home, friends, job, children, etc... I know a lot of people don't find their bottom, or it takes a very long time, because they still have some form of support. It is hard for a family to turn their backs on someone they love who is suffering. But the fact is that the family can't fix the broken person. Only the addict can make the decision to change.

    I know, for me, it took my child being taken by Child Protective Services to finally wake me up. When they took him, they asked my parents if they would take him. I am so grateful to them for saying no. I wasn't very grateful while I was still using, but I am now. You see, if they had taken him, I would have kept on getting high. I would have known that he was taken care of and I would no longer have had to be responsible for him. I would have kept on getting high.

    But they said no. They said that that was the hardest thing they have ever done. But is was the best thing that could have happened. With my son in foster care, my choices were to get clean or loose him and never see him again. The choice became less difficult for me after that. I now have a little over 8 years off of all drugs. My son is almost 9 (yes, you did the math... I was high all the way through my pregnancy... but that is for another story...) I am married, have a wonderful husband, a job a home that I own and I am expecting my second child.

    All things happen for a reason. I am who I am because my parents were strong enough to make the tough choices.
    amin021023 likes this.
  14. blaze4545

    blaze4545 Member

    Personally, I feel that I cannot fully answer the question. It all depends on the situation and variables. For instance, my uncle had found out that my cousin was selling drugs at school. He would steal medication (painkillers and the like) from my grandmother and sell them at school to his friends. My uncle did not report him to the police officers as he felt that this would cause more harm than good. For instance, my cousin could have a criminal record which would severely limit his choice of careers. Instead, he had sat him down and had a one on one talk with my cousin. My uncle made him realize the damage and harm he was doing to his friends and my cousin realized and stopped selling drugs. In this situation, I would definitely not turn my child in if they were caught. On the other hand, it may be too much for a parent to stop their child from trafficking, the child may continue to sell drugs and commit crimes. If this were the case, I would have no choice but to report my child to the police.
  15. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    You should never just turn your loved ones into the police. The criminal justice system in the US has a tendency to just keep people incarcerated once there in the system. Forcing them to get treatment or leave your home and stay away from you can help. If someone realizes there addiction can cause them to loose there family or become homeless, they take quitting more seriously. If something causes someone to loose everything, they'll reconsider keeping it in there life.
  16. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I have never been into such situation, but I agree with @Tsky45, nobody should ever turn a loved one into the police because, aside of the legal system regulation, the damage to the family bond is irreversible.

    In very few cases an addict person admits that such a decision was the best a loved one could take to get him or her out of alcohol or drugs. Even admitting this publicly, there is still an inner resentment left in the person, whether against whoever propitiated his/her detention, or for the system itself.
  17. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    For me I think it would have to depend on the situation and the person involved. Sometimes turning them in can be the only answer, especially if you've explored every other alternative but I'd definitely treat it as a last resort.

    Once the authorities get involved there's often no way of turning back so while in some cases it can be for the best, you have to make sure that your doing it for the right reasons.
  18. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    Children are all that matter for the parents, because of that no one will turn their child in for his addiction or anything else unless they're nuts.

    I would send them to rehab.
  19. ZXD22

    ZXD22 Senior Contributor

    Only if it went into extreme circumstances. If the child refuses to change in any way, then I guess you have no choice but let the authorities take charge.
  20. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    I don't have much faith in the current mentality of the legal system when it comes to dealing with these issues. They only know how to make things worst. They are really only interested in increasing the prison population so they can make more money.
    I would do my best to get them into a rehabilitation program.