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If you knew one of your teen or adult children was doing drugs or selling, would you turn them in?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by suntasticsunni, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. deewanna

    deewanna Senior Contributor

    If you find out that your teenager is using drugs it is very important that you talk to him as soon as you find out.
    It is a very difficult experience to find out that your child is using drugs. These teenagers do a very good job of hiding it from the parents. But when you eventually find out as a parent that your child is addicted to drugs, the best option is not to turn him in, the best option is to take him to a rehabilitation centre to be taken care of.
  2. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I wouldn't turn them in but I would seriously talk them down and make them understand that what they're doing can be detrimental in the long run. If the situation doesn't change then I may be inclined to take more serious actions, even though I don't really believe in the legal system nowadays.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    My son struggled with addiction for 7 years: from age 15 to age 22. He went to several treatment facilities prior to the one that helped him finally get clean and sober. I never thought about turning my son in for doing drugs. I think addiction has to be treated like a health problem, not a criminal problem. That said, if my son was selling drugs, that would be a different story. I don't think I could live with that. But, of course, it's easy to say one thing and do something completely different when faced with the situation, right? I'm glad I never had to make that decision.
  4. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Turning my child in would be the last course of action I would take. If there was no hope and all of my efforts was futile, I would then turn to the police to take them in and have it done that way.

    I grew up in a family where we take care of our own. That means that we handle it harshly and swiftly in our own family circle. If all efforts fail, then the next course of action is the law.
  5. srofltank

    srofltank Member

    Doing drugs is different from selling drugs, but there's understandable reasons why a person would consider these ideas. Whether is it they are going through a depression and they do drugs to force themselves to be relaxed or to sell drugs because they can't afford to put food on the table. Instead of calling the police and trusting our judicial system to select a punishment (which I don't trust) I would probably help that person out and get them treatment. It's better to help them rather than punish them for these actions.
  6. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Hard to say. I don't think it's an easy hypothetical because emotions come into play if it was a real situation.

    I think I'd really try and seek out other options first. Like some others have said I really don't think the legal system addresses the issues of addiction/selling these days - they often go for the band-aid type fixes which really don't achieve anything at all.

    If worst came to worst and I was absolutely desperate, and everything I had tried wasn't working, then yes - I might end up going down that road.
  7. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    That's a tough situation to be in and even tougher decision to make, but I think I would not turn in my child or someone I knew very well to the police/authority that easy. I don't think jail would change them. I believe that proper guidance and motivation would somehow help them to realize their mistakes and eventually, they will change for the better.
  8. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    This is a hypothetical answer, but I would only turn them in if they already tried rehab and counselling but to no avail and they're already becoming a menace to society, like they're already doing petty crimes, for example. If they're not that harmful yet, I would just urge them to go to rehab again.
  9. zplohr

    zplohr Member

    Addiction should not be treated as a crime, but if you commit crimes while using drugs you need to be punished. Being an addict is not an excuse, If you are using and not committing crimes you should be treated as a patient and helped through treatment.
  10. lulu

    lulu Active Contributor

    I think lots of kids will experience a point where they want to try drugs. I think depending on the drug a parent can help by talking to them. Obviously if it got bad they would need perfessional help other wise I don't think they should be turned in
  11. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It depends on the circumstances. If a crime is already committed, even you do not want to, he/she will be penalized for that when caught. Will surely try all possible treatments or approaches in order to get rid of the addiction and avoid committing crimes.
  12. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    I probably would. Turning them in might be a way to get them to the help they need. As somebody above me mentioned, it could also be a way to get them to their rock bottom, or even serve as a wake up call. I've been stolen from and abused by an addict before, and sometimes turning them in is the only way to stand up for yourself and get them to stop hurting others.
  13. Cheeky_Chick

    Cheeky_Chick Community Champion

    I don't think that I would turn them in for anything else other than a last resort. I would try to give them every possible chance to turn their lives around, but at the end of the day if they weren't listening to me, and they couldn't change their lives on their own, then it might be the best thing that I could do for them to turn them in, because it would mean that they actually had a chance to get clean.
  14. light

    light Active Contributor

    I wouldn’t choose to punish my teenager because that wouldn’t make him regret about his actions but instead would make him justify his actions. I would make a deep conversation with my teenager in finding the best solution to his problem. I would make him feel that he or she wasn’t alone in his recovery but the most important thing is to make sure that my teenager has really understood that drugs would ruin his entire life. I wouldn’t force him to go to a rehabilitation center but I would make him understand that this would be a good way for him to gain my trust and to start living a sober life again.
  15. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I would also first try getting them treatment and I would destroy any drugs or paraphernalia that I found. The police will not really do anything if the person is just high and does not have any paraphernalia, so it would be pointless to try to turn them in unless you had the actual drugs or tools to prove it. If treatment did not work, then I would turn my kids in so that they would get the help they needed. I would rather have a child in jail or treatment than a dead child because I stood back and did nothing.
  16. potatocakes

    potatocakes Member

    If, after several attempts to rehabilitate my child, and after repeated offenses, my child had failed to show any signs of living a successful and satisfying life, I would have no choice but to turn him/her in. At that point in time, I would be failing to ensure that my child would lead a good life, and would turn them in with the hopes that a correctional facility will be able to set him/her straight.
  17. sksmith094

    sksmith094 Member

    No, I would never turn in my own children. I would attempt to get them the help they needed to quit before they were in jail on their own. Or worse, on to harder drugs. If they were selling drugs, I still wouldn't be able to turn them in but I would be talking with them about it often.
  18. MrAmazingMan1

    MrAmazingMan1 Active Contributor

    I know a few people that are into drugs. I have the option to turn them in but I don't because I love them. They are my family members and I believe that they have the strength to quit. drugs is also a maturity thing, a lot of teenagers will try drugs, and some get addicted. However it is very common for a teenager to "grow out of it", and to understand when it is time to give it up and move on with their lives. that is the case in my life so I won' turn them in because i believe it is just a waiting game.
  19. MoneyFiend

    MoneyFiend Member

    In regards to taking drugs if I had suspicions I would search their room and keep an eye on them until I knew for sure. The next step would be to confront them about their problems and enforce rules on them if they were unhappy to talk openly to me. Then I would avoid the legal system but pressure them into entering rehabilitation.
    As for selling drugs, I would evaluate the situation first. If they were bringing unwanted clientele to the house I would act immediately to deter future events of the same nature. Depending on how much money they are dealing with would alter my next steps. Being a businessman at heart I would encourage their entrepeneurship but be firm about their product choice. I would show them other legal products they can turn into a profit and help them to create a legal business as a result.
  20. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    My sister used to sell marijuana. It scared me when I actually saw her make a transaction. I was 16 or 17 then. I knew it was wrong but didn't want to see her go to jail or prison because of it. So I wouldn't do that to my child for the same reason. As @MrAmazingMan1 states it's a waiting game. The bad part about the waiting game is the outcome - it could be a good one if they stopped or a bad one if they didn't.