Hi! I'm new here so if this is in the wrong section, feel free to move it. I don't want to divulge too much information, as I am slightly paranoid. My DOC has left me that way after starting it several years ago. It is something that would only appropriately fit into the "other substances" category. So I started outpatient treatment late last year after being discharged from rehab. I slipped up a few times (4 or 5), and my counselor has been pushing me to enter a long term treatment program. I don't think my case is that severe, as they were each isolated incidents. The last time I went in and told him I had used the previous weekend, he told me that I would no longer be able to receive treatment from this place. That was my last chance. I had been clean for a month and a half before I slipped up last week. I quickly came to my senses and got rid of everything I had bought, paraphernalia and all. Is it okay if I keep this incident to myself? I have a guilty conscience. I will go see him on Wednesday. The thing is, I've called and talked to people from the rooms and my sister, who has my best interest at heart. I'm calling people for support. On the other hand I need the support my counselor and the groups that this outpatient treatment provides. Help?
It sounds like you may be in denial about getting better. I think you need to be in a facility where you will be accountable at all times, and hopefully can't even get your hands on a Benadryl. I'm no expert but I think you will keep messing up unless you are willing to "bite the bullet," and admit that you need longer term care than what you're getting. I wish you the best!
I kind of agree with jbbarn. While I think you are currently clean and thinking logically about not wanting to be kicked out of your current program, I also think you need to take that more seriously then. If you're going to lie and say you didn't slip up, then fine, but at the same time, take the step to get the help you really need. Maybe you're right that yours isn't as serious as other people's and they were isolated events....but there have been several isolated events and it could happen again. Bite the bullet, suck it up, and just get the help you need to make sure it never happens again. The worst that can happen is you feel like you're getting "too much help," and really, is that a bad thing?
I wound up not telling him. I'm dealing with a lot in my life right now, and I really need his help. I am accepting this slip-up for what it is, and I will be calling someone before it happens again. Not only that, I am keeping regular contact with people so as not to be calling once things have gotten too far and I'm on the verge of picking up. I am learning that letting people in ahead of time isn't always a bad thing.
I agree that the outpatient program is probably not working for you if you keep slipping up. They are spending time and money to keep you clean and it is a waste of resources if you keep going back to your old ways. Inpatient treatment might be the best for you at this point.