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I'm here for a friend

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by mrbrown, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. mrbrown

    mrbrown Member

    So I have this friend who had all these family-related problems started piling on at the beginning of the year. He turned to smoking and alcohol to deal with all these problems. He's not seriously addicted to them but just enough that the smoking started to aggravate his asthma. He has been sick with severe cough twice already since starting. I'm just afraid that if he continue it would turn into something more serious.

    Help please.
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    It most certainly will turn into something more serious unless action is taken now. Try to make your friend face the facts that drugs will not solve family-related problems. Eventually he'll have to deal with the issues if he wants to move on and the sooner he does that, the better it will be for him. Unless he does, drugs will exacerbate the problems.

    Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. -Bernice Johnson Reagon
  3. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    Great quote @Rainman.
    Turning to substance abuse when you have troubles is one of the most common ways to start slipping on dark paths. If I was you I would try to support your friend as much as I can, and figure ways to show him that there are ways you can fight problems which won't ruin your life.
  4. mrbrown

    mrbrown Member

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. It's really difficult watching my friend do this to himself. I can understand that this is a bad time for him but all he's been doing just made everything worse for himself. I've even suggested that he get professional help but he just shrugged off the idea.
  5. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    You can try to convince him again that what he was doing is just making things worse for him. It will be up to you if you will continuously convince and advice him or give up on him. He needs to help himself more than anyone else.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. Psyduck

    Psyduck Active Contributor

    First of all, the very fact that you're trying your best to do this, is commendable. Your friend most definitely needs help and you could potentially play a big part in this. He might face serious consequences if he's not dealt with. You could talk to him sincerely and try your level best to bring him back to where he was originally.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Don't just focus on his addiction, try and help him out of stress. Stress can be a major cause of addiction and that may also affect you in the future. If you are his real friend then you must help him out of his current situation.
  8. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I think as a friend you could mention your concerns and point out the smoking and drinking are not helping him. I think you have to realize tha until he decides to help himself there may not be a lot you can do, sorry to say. Sometimes we wish we could take others burdens and struggles away from them, but sometimes just being there is enough.
  9. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I hate to say this, but have to second @Rainman's comment.

    A friend of mine, suffering from asthma was doing what your friend does @mrbrown, and while she couldn't resolve anything by smoking and drinking alcohol, today, 12 years later, she was diagnosed with stage 4 emphysema, what means her life expectations are now very reduced and yet she cannot quit smoking at all :(

    Helping someone who is in denial is really hard, hence why he shrugged off your suggestion, but probably you need to do a subliminal work before getting him accepting the fact he needs help.

    By subliminal work I mean find a way to get him finding information on what is happening to other people (as in example my friend) inviting him to go with you to a places that seem great for having fun, but where he might find "something" that force him to make a reality check about developing addictions, or even sending to him anonymous mail/emails or with fake sender, which include literature, preferably illustrations about the potential risks coming his way.

    Giving yourself this literature face to face will have the same effect that your advise, he would simply throw it away, but a catchy promise from a supposed sender delivering enclosed fun or something of his interest, may get him having a sneak peak to the information, hence why an infographic like the one I'm attaching here could be more effective, or any of those found here.

  10. Shenwil

    Shenwil Senior Contributor

    It's good to see that you are concerned for your friend. Maybe you just need to talk to him. Let him know that the smoking is really bad for his asthma and that drinking alcohol does not solve his problems. Let him know that you are there for him.
  11. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    Although I have quit smoking for good, this photo speaks volumes. I wish I would have seen this photo prior to me quitting. It really puts everything into perspective. I've had plenty of reasons to quit, but it's nice to see a chart of something in "real time" as I've quit smoking. I remember feeling the significant difference within only a few days of quitting.
    MyDigitalpoint likes this.
  12. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I guess telling your friend you are concerned for him will put everything into perspective. It is one of the things that you can do as an ex smoker. However, be careful not to appear holier than thou. This is one of the things that you need to be aware of when you talk to people.
  13. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Hello there, @mrbrown! Welcome to the forum. It's good to hear that you are really trying to find ways to help out your friend. Well, I think the best thing for you to do is to be honest to your friend, and tell him that you're starting to get worried about him. Try to encourage him to stop doing all those bad habits now, offer him words of wisdom, and support. All the best.