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I'm just not there yet......

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by MsLucy, Apr 8, 2016.

  1. MsLucy

    MsLucy Active Contributor

    I'm just having one of those days. I've been trying really hard to stop. It doesn't help that I'm in a relationship where we both are addicts. He knows how bad I want to kick this, he's just not ready. He really expects to come lay the crap all on my bed, indulge in front of me, & I really not have any desire to engage. How do I help him, & I can't even help myself? I'm starting to ashamed, & he still feels like there is no problem.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Unfortunately, the environment you're in is not at all conducive to you quitting, @MsLucy. If he doesn't want to quit, and that's making it difficult for you to quit, that's a bad situation. At this point, I think overcoming your addiction should be your number one priority. Maybe that means putting the relationship on hold. That's something you'll have to decide on your own. All I know is it's not good to have your wants and needs depend on someone else's wants and needs.
    MsLucy and MrsJones like this.
  3. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    You will need to distance yourself from this setback, help yourself, then get help for him. For the fact that you @MsLucy have not recovered from your addiction, the desire to use drugs will still be very high.

    Address the situation head long and take the right steps to recovery.
    MsLucy and MrsJones like this.
  4. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    You said it right, How do I help him, & I can't even help myself? You can't. It's just that simple. Now that you realize this what are you going to do about it?

    I was involved in a relationship once where crack was placed right next to me when I was reading my Bible. I simply told him very firmly to get it away from me. I guess he thought that I would join him but he was wrong. What did I do? I moved out.

    You have choices.
    MsLucy likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @MsLucy... How are you doing? If you get a chance, check in with us and let us know. We truly care about you.
  6. bluesnow

    bluesnow Member

    I agree.
    It might be hard but it sounds like your current surroundings aren't conductive of recovering from your addiction or having a healthy relationship.
    I do have friends that have managed to go through rehab together, but to be honest it usually ends poorly because both want to "use" the other to slip back into old habits.

    Putting a pause on your relationship would give your room to try and recover, and maybe even be a motivation for your partner to take that first step if he knows he needs to do that to be with you. I genuinely wish you the best of luck and the strength needed.
  7. tgthewriter1

    tgthewriter1 Member

    Quitting is important when it comes to your career. You are an adult so if you choose to keep using your drug that’s fine. But, if you want to stop then stop. If you have to cut people off rather they be family or friend, then you need to do it. I can’t tell you what to do with your life but drugs are not worth your career. You need to get your stuff together. You know what you need to do. Make the right choice.