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I'm so upset due to a so called friend

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by DoxyMom, Sep 28, 2019.

  1. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    He just called because him and his new girlfriend are dopesick. Lucky for me it's the end of the month and I have nothing to loan him. I asked him to get help and he said they were going to detox but can't get in until Monday and needs something till then. He knows I get it. He even wanted me to ask my husband knowing how he feels about drugs. I told him he was at work and I would call when he got home. Sure I would. He calls me back a few minutes later so he got the money somewhere, but now he wants a ride to go get it!!! I told him I'm sorry that is not good for my sobriety. He said you only have to drop me off a block away. I know he doesn't get it and is only thinking of himself but I hung up and burst into tears. I could tell he was mad. I know I did the right thing for me but I feel awful. Not to mention I just started a taper yesterday. Now he got the cravings started. I can just imagine how they would be had I taken him. I wish I had someone I could call who gets it.
    True concern and Joshstillclean like this.
  2. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    Sorry that was a little confusing he wanted to borrow money. I wish I had a sponsor of knew someone in the program as I really need to talk to someone and there is no one! The bad thing is on Monday I don't even have my normal group, they
    Picked me to be in the patient advocacy group. That is great but I'm in crisis. I don't know where to turn and this place isn't what it was either. Arghhh!!!!
    True concern and Joshstillclean like this.
  3. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    Thanks for the help! I'm so glad this is not the same group I came to six months ago looking for help or I may not be clean six months. It's so nice to know there is no help in a crisis. I'm out of here.
  4. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    I'm sorry @DoxyMom I wish I knew how to help. Dont let people steal your joy. I honestly would lose all those old numbers if they could possibly be triggers for you they dont sound like a very good friend to do that to you.
  5. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    My friends would never even bring up drugs around me because they knew I had triggers they would never ask to borrow money and give them a ride to the dope house.
  6. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    I hope your day is better today sending positive energy your way.
    True concern likes this.
  7. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @DoxyMom my inbox is always open,yeah I am struggling a bit right now but that doesn't mean I can't relate or I don't understand. I do care about you even though I have come off as an asshole a few time's. I pray your cravings piss off and you can relax once again
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  9. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    I was in a crisis for a few days, I'm blocking that asshole's number. He cares only about himself. I was not in danger of a relapse only I felt out of control with no one to call who would understand how I felt. After I hung up the phone I burst into tears and just had a hard time getting it together. Part of it is I've been going along just fine and that happened and I think it scared me and pissed me off and I felt like I had no one to turn to. I was able to talk to Josh on Monday, thanks buddy and I'm ok now.
  10. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    I'm glad your doing better now. I hate there is people out there so selfish they cant think of anything but themselves. I admit I used to be like that though I'm glad I have changed. :)
    True concern and Joshstillclean like this.
  11. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Always. Glad your feeling better.
    True concern and Onceaddicted77 like this.
  12. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Onceaddicted77 see, I wasn't like that when I was using, I didn't screw people over or steal from them, the only person I hurt was myself and my husband. I've owned up to him what I've done and he has forgiven me. I may have begged for **** while sick but I never lied or not cared about someone else to get it and if I knew they were sober and trying to stay that way I would never ask them for what he did. That is just me I guess.
  13. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    Yea I mostly just took advantage of people I loved. I never had to steal or lie always was a functioning drug addict, but i look back and realize that i wasnt a very good person. I was upfront and truthful about my drug use I didmt care what people thought.

    I didnt care to goto family events or make time for my relationships didnt go to funerals etc. I was selfish I only cared about what I wanted or cared about. :(

    I'm lucky no very lucky my wife stayed with me all this time.
    True concern and Joshstillclean like this.
  14. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    I stole 16 dollars from my grandpa once. That's the only theft I've done.
    I cannot describe how badly I wish I could take that back. Or him,see me sober at least.
    I just sold my prescriptions at ridiculously high prices to people when they were needing it so bad they were willing to pay.
    I feel really bad about the way I did some people.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  15. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Missed funerals- yeah, I know that feeling. Now that I've remembered all this I know im not gonna be craving those drugs like I was afraid of. I was awful.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  16. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    Yea I never want to be that guy again
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  17. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    I hear ya brother.
    Pretty much anytime I hear someone refer to,"that guy", is something derogatory. And I sure for the description.
    Never going back there. I think that's why I panicked and threw out the pills on the road-i don't litter, having this farm makes me respect nature- at that point all that mattered was getting that oxy out of my truck.
    Because if I have oxy....I'm "that guy".
    And even last night when I was super high (I don't remember this well) I plugged my tv back in and watched "movies"- again "that guy". It makes me someone I hate. And I can't live in a body that I hate.
    Hating myself is a contradiction to my life in itself. And it took me a long time to realize that.
    I woke up this morning feeling really down but I'm glad you guys were here to talk to i feel much more secure.

    Now I just gotta get to work. But ill pop on throughout the day.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  18. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Your all good people who were once trapped by addiction but I think you are all great human's
    Davers and Joshstillclean like this.