This can be a tough one. A family member or friend. It sounds like they are a suppressed person. Someone is suppressing them in some way I guarantee you this. They seem like everything is their fault and they are prone to this but there is someone amidst this that is attempting to push that person down. If this person looks for other people to blame for their mishaps and dumb decisions. This is more than likely the case. I know it might not make sense to you, but this is why people try but always slip back. You want to look for a person in the problem person's life that says to them things like, "you can't do that. you'll never do that. you'll never amount to much. you are a fark up. you are a drug addict and a mess." whatever they say. This person is the one that is agitating the problem person into being a mess. They are actually more of a problem than the one you want to disown. In order for your friend or family member to get ahead or make any progress is for them to stay way from the suppressive person. It's either handle or detach. Handle the negative chatter and make it stop or help that person step away from the suppression. If you want more information about this sort of thing or a program. Narconon or Criminon are good sources. One is for drug problems and the other is for criminal rehabilitation.