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Is It Safe To Walk Away?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by crc3thebest, Mar 17, 2015.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    It's OK to walk away. I did. At that time it felt like the right thing to do. And it was. I was clashing with family members over drug abuse every day. When we parted it wasn't without acrimony on both sides.

    After a while I realized that there are some things which you never can walk away from forever.

    Eventually you'll have to let the addict back into your life. Think of it as a break from it all. Let go for a while and when you feel you are ready to help this person again, you can do it.

    'Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.'
    Michael Jordan
  2. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    Well, maybe if you're away long enough, they'll start to straighten up by then. We can hope. Otherwise, it's like you said, it's like getting a break from it. When you have refreshed your strength, you might be able to try again.

    Sadly enough, sometimes, you have to walk away for good.
  3. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    @Zyni I felt the same way about my fiance who seems unable to quit (he won't even try quitting), so at first I was so stressed and worried sick, but now... well, I still worry about it from time to time, but I let it pass because there is nothing I can do to make him want to quit smoking. It's sad, but I guess a part of my has accepted he won't quit anytime soon.
  4. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    It's heartbreaking. I don't think we ever get to the point where they are "out of sight, out of mind." At least for me they don't. I still wonder about people I haven't seen in years, and I hope and pray that they are okay. I just couldn't allow myself to go into that spiral with them. Other people need me more than somebody who doesn't want help.
  5. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    I would not really be able to just leave someone I care about behind when they are in dangerous situations -- and we can say that addicts "want it", but... that's the definition of addiction, and one of its core problem, rather than the real feelings of the person.

    But it's also not fair for you to destroy your life over it if you're way in over your head. I'd try to find someone who could advise and help in real life, and check up every so often.
  6. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    In some ways I think it can hurt and it can help. Sometimes people have to lose us to appreciate what they had. Still the person I am tells me never to completely walk away. I have long believed that sometimes we have to distance ourselves without turning our backs completely on the ones we care about who are often too blind to see the error of their ways. It's a tough call and I think situations will vary and hence our response will be different depending on the circumstances.

    When all is said and done, we need to be sure not to allow ourselves to be destroyed by another's addiction.