I understand that you're worried. I think you should reach out to him and ask him how everything is going. Don't try to be to pushy about it because you don't want to push him away if he is back to his addiction. I hope everything goes okay for you and your brother.
I think it's good that at the end you still want to help him. Despite all of that history. So how are you guys now? Have you talked to him? If not, do you plan to? I hope you find a way of reaching him.
If your brother is unhappy with his current situation and seems stressed out then I would definitely talk to him about it before things go south. Keep a close eye on him and his behavior if you think he might be lying to you about being back on certain substances.
I was with him yesterday, but we don't talk about the big issues (his separation or his addiction), we just talk about day to day, he seems ok... I hope he's fine really!
LOL, thats true, 20 years it's a long time, but even so I have the feeling he doesn't want to discuss it, I've "debated" some topics with him and he always acts as if he own the truth you know?
It is important to know that someone is there for you. Don't be taken advantage of and if you suspect something than it is a must to confront it in a suttle way to avoid it becoming a bigger problem in the future where everyone gets hurt.
Ah well, small talk is better than no talk, right? I think it's good that you're reaching out to him slowly. Doesn't matter for now if you're not talking about the big issues. At least he knows he can talk to someone. Maybe he'll open up soon.
Yeah, in that concern we know what to expect from each other, we might not talk much, but if we are in need we know that the other will be there to help us, family is always family.
Yep, actually I needed a suit and borrowed one from him, it's a practical relation I guess lol. And yes, I prefer the small talk because if we get down to business abruptly something might go wrong.
Thats great and very important to know that you are both there should you need to speak. At the end of the day, family is family and they ae the only ones that we can ever really rely on in dark and down times. They might not always know that from the surface of their crazy lives but deep down at least he knows that you are there.
One thing that life has taught me is that, we might have a lot of friends and don't speak often to our family, but in times of need is the family the one we can count on.
Yeaaaaa I can relate to what that sounds like. My dad, and myself, have demonstrated this really messed up "ability" to, like, completely and entirely "shut out" things we don't want to hear. It can get really fucked up, too. Like, even if my dad does something horrible to someone in the family (like yelling, screaming, losing his temper), he, at times, can just totally justify it, and no matter what anyone says, he'll only see or regard that idea that he has of what happened. It's like a complete and total faith in your own interpretations and ideas, and it can completely blind you. Even so. Even with someone like that, having people challenge them (although they may literally hate you for it), is better for them in the longterm.
Yeah, it might be better for them, but I also need to think in myself, wife, kids, parents, so I want to have an "ok" relation with him and if we start discussing the real deal things might (or not) go sour. Maybe I am just being a coward...
I think it's alright to bring it up and you shouldn't feel scared or ashamed to do so. You are only concerned about your brother's well being and he should be able to understand that at his age. Just let him know that you won't judge him for his mistakes and that you are there for him, and if it fails then you'd at least know that you tried.
You should always talk to him right away - while with how long ago it was I doubt if it is addiction, I would recommend talking to the person and making sure you get a clear answer.
Hey, hey. It's your call mate. Are you being a coward, or are the consequences of provoking (regardless of how well meaning your intentions may be) your maybe psychopathic and drug addicted brother's hatred or resentment too great for you to risk in your family or especially financial situation? -I can't answer that question.
There are no economic reasons involved, it's just a matter of maintaining good relations. He's living with my parents and he's not even opening up with them...
I would for sure ask him about it. Maybe there is another reason why him and his wife are separated. There is always more going on then what seems to be behind doors. Maybe he cheated or something. I know that is horrible but you should probably ask before you start assuming. It'll hurt his feelings if you just jump on him with his addiction. If he does say he is, kindly say, " I know how I can help you," and leave the number at the top of the page for him. You will have to let him make the call but maybe he just needs to find something that will help him now that he's lost everything. Good luck.
I've been talking a lot with him in the last days, he wants to help me because of a car accident, funny enough he's supposed to be in trouble, but he wants to help me.
Off course you should talk to him! You could prevent him for doing something very stupid! First take him gently, somewhere nice and quiet, have a little drink maybe a cigar if you're into that thing and then gently start to ask him about how does he carry the situation. Get under his skin and finally tell him your concerns, maybe there is nothing to be worried about. Do it in a nice way, so he won't be repulsive.