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It is not easy but it is well with it.

Discussion in 'Share Your Detox Experience' started by Sober forever, Nov 1, 2019.

  1. Sober forever

    Sober forever Member

    hi my name is Ona. I had tramadol addiction for a couple of years and the way my body worked with it was unbelievable. I had gotten to stages that people who had taken it twice the amount of years I did were at.

    At a point I had to ask myself why I let something define my day, my mood, my life. I couldn’t function at all if I wasn’t on it.At first it took all the pain I was feeling off, I felt more calm and relaxed, until I noticed that I had taken it so much that the way I was to feel normally without it was what I was feeling after I took it. And how I felt when I didn’t was the worst feeling in the world.

    So I stood up to it, I tried everything, anything. I told myself that I was only delaying the pain that was to come later, why not face it now?

    It took detoxifying, jogging, I had hot lemon and ginger tea, I forced myself to go out, I reached out to my sisters, I was ready for the pain. When it came, I was angry all the time, I found myself crying often, I would feel these zaps in my eyes whenever I moved my eyes. I felt lifeless, but I started already, it might as well give me all it has. It took about a week before I stopped feeling depressed and the zaps reduced, I’m normally a size 6 and before I stopped my bones were bulging out, I looked darker and pale. When the dark phase stopped I added some weight, I started looking better and I was grateful I stood up to it.

    I don’t know who needs this but I hope it helps, all the pain you’ll feel when you’re withdrawing is a test, it’s a phase, it will surely pass, how you handle it is who you are, It’s your war and you deserve to win. Good luck.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @Sober forever just so you know your courage helped give me mine....7 day's opiate free today and I just got a job today as well.. .also a divorce warning or heads up but all in all I can do better as far as having a woman who tries to help me instead of constantly judge's me
    Davers and Sober forever like this.
  3. Sober forever

    Sober forever Member

    Wow, this is really beautiful, congratulations. I know how hard this can be. But the good news is you've made the move a lot of people are afraid to. And in no time, your life is all yours again. I am so happy I could be of help. I hope to get replies of how your beautiful life is turning out. Cheers.
    True concern likes this.
  4. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    It's strange in 200 -2001 when Ultram first came out , they bombarded my Mom with Cancer with this "Safe , Barely addicting non-opiate . At that time I was eating 4-40 percs or hydro . & Every time I took the Ultram ( later Tramadol), It may have been placebo but it never helped my WD 's .

    Since then i've seen many in Europe addicted to it .

    Good Luck on your journey , Sober Forever.
    Sober forever likes this.
  5. Sober forever

    Sober forever Member

    Hi true concern. You were the first on my mind, how are things with you?, what state are you in now?, I hope to hear your story so far. Cheers
    True concern likes this.
  6. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Honestly still opiate free,unfortunately this time of year is very hard for me,a little more this year because I recently found out I'm getting divorced after 20 year's and I don't get to see my stepkids or grandkids at all around the holidays,it feels like it's meant to hurt me so between thanksgiving and the day after Christmas I drink...alot but I stop every year before new years and fall apart around the end of Oct for a few month's. I don't like admitting these things however it is the truth
  7. Sober forever

    Sober forever Member

    Hi true concern, having love around you helps while withdrawing, so hearing that you dont have as much as you should yet you're staying strong is really remarkable, I'm sorry about your divorce, better days are ahead, that i promise. You are strong, dont forget it is all a test, and your challenge, how you handle it all tells you who you are, and what you're capable of, honestly, at this point, i know you are really strong for holding on, it's a phase, it will pass, you own your life, take charge of it.
    Please keep in touch. I'm here.

    Sober forever.
  8. Sober forever

    Sober forever Member

    There is nothing to be judged for, and the truth is the truth. But note that alcohol aids the urge to do opiates. Please be careful, you have started, you might as well finish and finish well. All the best.

    Sober forever.
    True concern likes this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I love you as a human,I will fight hard
    Sober forever likes this.
  10. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    I wish that I had a magic wand to use to make you , we , me , feel better. At least Half better LOL & Crying.

    This sounds cleche but Try to make 2020 the best year you can & I 'hope' to do the same.
    Davers
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019
    Onceaddicted77 and True concern like this.
  11. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    So I have been doing a lot of drinking (14-18) beers daily for about 2 week's, I'm not proud of it quite the opposite I'm disgusted by it.Alcohol was a major force in my life falling a part...I have a severe anxiety disorder ever since my wife left me,the unknown haunts me every second of everyday while I'm awake and the meds I'm on for anxiety barely if at all work and so I have been drinking because it numbs me quickly and effectively, not devoid of emotion but it block's all the nervous energy the torments my thoughts and mood.This was never the plan as I've been down this road before,I know how it ends and a few month's ago it landed me in jail briefly.I don't know where I stand with myself because my Dr put me on these meds then left for over 2 months on vacation just leaving her patients hanging so there was no one to see about changing meds.I haven't drank so far today but the money is burning a hole in my pocket and my thoughts won't stop racing,sooo odds are I will most likely drink at some point today.This bullshit about them (Dr) being able to write out a magic fix...well for me so far it is exactly that bullshit, I realize meds help a lot of people I just can't figure out why I can't find the help I need!Perhaps I'm going about this all wrong,perhaps I just need to get completely sober from everything even prescription meds but its a gamble either way and I always seem to lose when I gamble,so I am in a state of intense confusion,trying to analyze the way I've analyzed.....its madness.So how do I maintain this existence of mine?I don't want to drink,in fact when I smell beer I start gagging but after I force a few down I level out..until I consume to many.What is to many?14-18 a day sure sounds like to many,often times it is and sometimes it's not depending on food intake and timing.I hate alcohol but its got it's teeth in me at this time,I will overcome this,I see my Dr soon and I guess I will go from there.
  12. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    I feel ya , tho I put down the booze for good years ago, or i'd be dead or in jail.

    I'd like you drink a Fifth a day + or a case of Natural Ice (the strongest beer available at that time in GA. ). Went from 180 lbs to 250 in a year. Oh my favorite Beer Deal was $2.99 a 6 pack of tall boy Shlitz , I'd drink 3 6 packs a a day & many a 6.00 am I found myself walking a mile to get or steal an Oil Can or 5 . Bad Memories , It's never to late to start over.

    I also have severe social anxiety , depression & a bunch of other crap. Since 2 ed grade & self medicated til 30 y/o before ever seeing a Dr.
    Heck all my $ from 16 - 32 went for fines probation , probation fees , Drug evals (Scam) 100+ paid classes + Court ordered AA meetings , I quickly found a way around that ... Why if it's "Anonymous " do I have to tell a uncaring probation officer.?

    Do what u gotta do & know I do care .
    Davers
  13. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I have walked the same path,jail,fined,probation,AA court ordered,almost prison for 7 year's, on and on and on.You know you said "Do what you gotta do"and I appreciate the sentiment but I'm not sure what that is,drinking....im tired of it but I have this unique affliction, or it feels like a unique affliction....I can't stop analyzing everything...i mean everything from where the neighbors park,how often they leave,people in general their actions,patterns,etc and it's absolutely nuts but I can't stop.I have no intention or desire to harm anyone,that's not why I analyze,I do it because my entire family is disabled and I'm the only able body in the home...I do it to keep my family in a safe bubble which again I realize is nuts and alcohol helps me calm that storm....to an extent
    Davers likes this.
  14. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    let me first say , I wish that I could reply sooner but i'm usually online from when I get up & avg 2-4 hours online.

    I was thinking that I forgot to mention yesterday that my Xanax works for a good hr or 2 more if my mind is right & the M-done is working as it should but I can no longer 'Comfortably' miss a day as my dose is fairly low.

    Funny i'm listining to my home town morning show and they are talking about drinking alone , I thought "in the last 5 years of my drinking I drank alone 90% of the time."

    I "analyze " by OCD worrying , 'STUPID ****' !!!
    I could go on & on , I been "not Right" Since Late March ! then worse after Da Da Day , & still feel like crap , I wake up dreading the day . Yes I have thought about drinking again & I use that threat when I'm fed up with life & my messed up Brain. I know threatening is childish I also know that if I do drink , ill NEVER forgive my self (I do not say never again anymore. Think I mentioned that I quit drinking from July 5 1997 - early Oct, 1999....started again & had crashed a car , got a DUI , drunk in public & did something , well 2 things , back then that i'd likely still be down-state for or on parole. Oh like you also , I almost went to prison but got lucky.

    Man I;m just staring at this screen and drawing a blank , actually I have several subjects running through my mind & I can not pick one.

    Ill take a break and check back in when I can think better.
    Best Davers
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  15. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Davers I'm sure I don't have to tell you that alcohol and methadone don't mix. Besides being a risk for OD it makes you metabolize your medicine faster which can lead to withdrawal. No one wants that.
    Davers likes this.
  16. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    Oh yes I know & thanks JIC I did not know.

    Thank God it's been over a decade since my last drink. :cool:
    True concern likes this.
  17. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I put the alcohol down early this year,14-18 beers a day was just to much I saw my Dr today,got new meds...i will update this further as I'm cooking dinner right now,but back on bipolar meds.Vraylar I pray it helps
    Davers likes this.
  18. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    So like I mentioned yesterday,I had been drinking alot..every year usually until after Christmas and I always stop before new year's however it was never the goal,I was never able to just accept the drinking so yesterday I finally got to see my head Dr after over 2 month's and I was put on Vraylar for my bipolar disorder and I pray it works,yesterday I didn't drink for the first time in roughly a month and I have no intention of drinking at all anymore,I'm going to allow the meds to do their thing and hope and pray I even out.I took my new meds for the first time yesterday and had intense nightmares all night but even through that somehow I'm usually able to figure out I'm in a dream so then I can control what takes place in them...for the most part.Today I woke up around 12:50am and have been just sitting here trying to not disturb any while they sleep,this always happens to me on bipolar meds, I lose the ability to really sleep...i sleep in like 30 min intervals for about 4 hours...so I guess that's about 2 hour's of sleep per night.Which I can deal with as long as the meds keep me from drinking I can adapt to the rest,anyways I'm rambling so take care,have a blessed day and enjoy your weekend.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.