Thank you for that
@lonewolves, I wish I had started to try and be that role model earlier for him so that he didn't have some of the memories of me that he does,like me passing out at his birthday party at his own school when he was six!
As far as what you said about life really throwing me some crazy tests, I'm not sure if I'm being tested or punished.
But I will say this my last od, three doctors were arguing about what was keeping me alive. They had taken me off the ventilator and it was iffy wether or not I was going to start breathing on my own,and I did. My blood alcohol was 0.87, had injected 320mg oxycontin, and taken the bottle of klonopin that I had, and I only filled it the day before. I remember coming to enough to be able to tell the nurse that I needed to pee.
I really have been spared. My boys mother still uses, and the other day ( I'm crying as I type this btw, I'm just so overwhelmed) he heard me talking about moving into the new house I'm going to build on the property I was just given. He said "well I am really glad God heard me all those times when I prayed for you after you passed out".
I was shocked upon questioning he told me that he heard my dad say how important it is to tell God what you need. So eveytime he knew I was passed out in my room he had found the key would come in say a quick prayer and lock it back.
He told me that he forgives me and is glad to have his dad back and is excited to move in with me.
I think it's the other way around I think I'm blessed to have him for a son.
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