An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Kicking a kid out of the house

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by sunflogun, Apr 23, 2015.

  1. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I had a friend that his mother kicked him out of the house. She said that he needed to be clean first or wanted to get clean, so he ended up living on the streets for some weeks. I don't know if this is the right course of action or if I had the guts to do this with a kid. What's your opinion?
  2. deewanna

    deewanna Senior Contributor

    That is definitely wrong. Kicking your kid out of the house in hopes that he will get clean will only worsen the situation.
    As a parent, it is your duty to fix the child. You need to listen to your child. As a parent you should know your child. You should know certain things about your kid that other people don't know. You should be able to see through that addiction and figure out how you can help.
    Maybe going for counseling can also help to know how to deal with a drug addicted kid. But kicking him/her out is a no no.
  3. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    The action taken by your friend's mother is definitely not right at all. As a parent she should be the first person to guide her troubled child. Kicking him out of the house is absolutely not the solution to the problem. Your friend needs help and he needs someone to be there for him right now. Maybe as a friend, you should make sure that he doesn't get worse by mingling with the wrong people and doing far more worst things with his life. Maybe his mother also needs help in dealing with his situation. I suggest you encourage her to join support groups that can help her fix her relationship with her son.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Kicking a kid out isn't helpful at all. In fact it could prove to be counterproductive because the kid will have to deal with stress. And that stress would force him/her to use more of the drugs they'd been using to cope or even to show the parent they can do whatever they please with their lives. It's in the darkest hour when a parent should love their kid most and help them.
    kylerlittle likes this.
  5. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I have to agree with the other users on the point that kicking a kid out isn't the solution and it could make it worse. I believe that the way you can solve it is by loving them, forgiving them and caring for them and try and help them no matter what. Kicking them out might cause them to be suicidal and feel rejected and go through some really extreme cases. Teenagers often need love and protection from their parents, and they need to feel supported by their parents through any decision they go through and have their parents give them the right directions. Simply kicking out the kid to get rid of the problem is going to make things worse, when it could be dealt with easily through many ways. I hope your friend is okay and it gets sorted for him. Be there for him, he needs you at that time.
  6. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    There's got to be more to the story than this. Yes, a parent shouldn't have to take such extreme measures with the child but maybe it's the only way to make the child realize that the behavior is not acceptable and no longer will be tolerated. What could be called 'tough love.'

    Still there are questions but I'd rather here more from the OP.
    dechantajones and Nick W. like this.
  7. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Sure that there is more to it, I don't even know the whole story. I do know that he had a sister and eventually he was influencing her as well, so eventually his mother did that to protect her other kid? Only living it to know it...
    belle6612 likes this.
  8. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    Well, in other situations, kicking a kid out can be the perfect solution. It probably doesn't work as well when substances abuse is involved, but it all depends on what this particular situation is like. Things can become unbearable for parents at some point, and they shouldn't be expected to put up with a son or daughter that's abusing substances and wreaking havoc in the home.
  9. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Without all the facts, it is difficult to make a decision. What may work for one child may not work on another. perhaps the mother had tried everything else already. it may be better if there was a place the child could go to, where he would be safe from the dangers on the streets. However, we all have to know that their are rules which must be obeyed, regardless of where we live.
  10. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @sunflogun Are you very close to your friend and his family? Do you see your friend often? How is your friend and family doing with this situation?
  11. belle6612

    belle6612 Member

    Sometimes kicking them out is the only option left. When have have stolen, hurt and betrayed you that is the only option you have. Especially if they are influencing a younger sibling.
  12. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    How old is your friend? I do not think that it is a good idea to let a kid live in the street cause he might get into more trouble. There could be other ways to discipline him or put him in a social welfare or government organization that are helping kids like him.
  13. EditorsRHumansToo!

    EditorsRHumansToo! Community Champion

    I feel the urgency to tell your friend to receive her son back home where the possibility of getting clean is sure and can be had. It is home where a broken person needs comfort, saving, help and being treated as a human who matters and valuable. Would you know where your friend's son is now? Would you be able to help your friend look for him in the streets? I do hope and pray that there will be restoration soon.

    And please tell your friend not to blame herself real hard for kicking her son out. There's always this opportunity to make things right and bring her son home.
  14. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think if that's the best solution she can come up with she isn't deserving to be a parent. First off, if he's an addict now, I'm already assuming there's something wrong with the system at home to make it happen in the first place, and knowing about how she reacted to it only cements my hypothesis further for me.
  15. katherine25

    katherine25 Senior Contributor

    There is a lot to consider when answering this question and I agree with some of the responses here, there has to be more to the story. If my child was doing drugs my first response would not be to kick them out, it would be what can I do to help them stop. However, if I have tried absolutely everything to help them and nothing was working and on top of that if they were influencing my other children and getting to the point where there are troubled people coming around my house endangering my family then I would have to do something a little more extensive. I don't think kicking them out but maybe sending them to rehab to get help.
  16. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Where I'm from that is illegal. You can't kick your kid out of the house. But she should of done is turn him into the police. Let him learn his lesson by those means. Get a record and state funded help in the form of support groups and counseling.
  17. Carmilla

    Carmilla Active Contributor

    I would never support doing something like that - it just seems cruel, and not helpful in any way. I'm not hating on the mother - I know it would be hard to make this choice and maybe there were other factors we are not aware of that caused her to kick the child out, but I think in most cases there are alternatives to kicking your kid out of the house.
  18. devinametallic

    devinametallic Active Contributor

    I agree with deewanna and joshposh. It sounds like someone is giving up on a child and throwing them into whatever is out that door which means anything can influence the child. Good or bad and it sucks that the child has to see it that way.
  19. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    It really looks like she could not deal with it and was too blind to confrontate the problem in a way that would have chances to lead to something positive. Kicking someone out might be a solution to a problem like, "My child is 40 and lazy and I want this person to get independent already!". But for any substantial kind of dependence... Nope. Not the right move, not at all, unless she's a crazy abuser and that her son can go to a better, more understanding place.
  20. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    I personally wouldn't go so far as to disown my own kid. I realize that what he did was inappropriate and unacceptable but that's no way to treat a family member in distress. Especially when the person in question is your own biological son. Honestly, I don't know how this woman sleeps at night. There are so many other alternatives she could have considered before kicking her kid out on the street. I just hope your friend isn't homeless now because of his cold-hearted mother.