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Kicking a kid out of the house

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by sunflogun, Apr 23, 2015.

  1. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree with this. I think this actions tells more about the characteristics of the mother than the child. The mother is supposed to be smart and able to handle adversity or at least more so than the child who has had way less time and experience in this life, and abandoning them at their most vulnerable point just because it is uncomfortable sounds irresponsible.
  2. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Well, sending him to a shelter isn't exactly kicking him to the streets, so it's great what she did. Kicking someone with the streets and telling him he can return only when he's not consuming is something different.
  3. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they are willing to seek help. Perhaps being homeless for this kid is a needed wake up call to the reality of where addictions can lead people. Also, what if the mother had other children whom she is trying to keep safe? I am not condoning any parents kicking their kids out on the street, however, I am sure there is more to the situation that what we see at face value. It seems like there would be a better option, even if it was necessary t remove the lid from the house for the safety and well-being of others. For example, perhaps the kid could stay with abother close family member who may help in this situation, or maybe he could enter into a program for kids.
  4. Jorge Solis

    Jorge Solis Active Contributor

    Hello everyone, hope all of you are doing well! I personally do not think this the right course of action because the environment created by the fact that he no longer lives in his house is very likely to promote substance abuse. I think that up until a certain age, parents are responsible for their children and the choices the have made. If this kid make the wrong choices at some point, then the parents failed at some point of his upbringing.
  5. Carnold23

    Carnold23 Community Champion

    How old is the kid? I would never kick out my under 18 child and I believe that is illegal. As a mother I will always support and love my children. I would give my last breath for my kids. With that said, I will not enable my child. I firmly believe that addicts can get to a point that they have to help themselves before you can help them and that sometimes everything you do to help them only makes it worse. Now this only goes for an over 18 child but if I had tried rehab, tried therapy, tried everything I possibly could to help my kid and nothing worked then I might resort to tough love. I love my kids more then I love myself, but I wouldn't allow an addict to live in my home. Especially if I had a younger child. Addicts steal, they lie. Not because they are bad people, but because they are addicted. You can't help someone if they won't help themselves and you can't let them destroy you in the process.
  6. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    If the child is a minor, then kicking the child out the house is a no no. They are already easy targets due to lack of life experience and having to make life decisions under the influence of drugs can be damaging. Now if the child was a full grown adult like 30 or 40 then something must be done.
  7. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Wow, this woman went a bit far, I don't think I'd ever be able to do such a thing to a kid :( I'd probably force him to undergo treatment and don't be gentle about it... give him or her an ultimatum, but I don't think I could kick him or her out. That isn't a good way to treat a son or daughter... addicted or not. So sorry for your friend.
  8. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    You can not allow a child to use your home as a basis for their druggie lifestyle. It is also setting you up for problems with the law. Nearly All of the professionals recommend kicking a kid out if they do not follow your rules, which I think include no drugs. By letting an adult child live their using drugs you are giving tacit permission for the lifestyle to continue.
  9. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    I don't think that it's a good idea to kick the kid out of the house. There are more dangers outside and the kid will be more susceptible to other influences if he's not at home and not being supervised by his parents. More than ever, the kids need his parents to support him and help him get back on track.
  10. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    It's a hard call as we can see, but only those living that situation really know what is better for everyone involved.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Also, you don't say how old the "kid" is obviously you can't kick a minor kid out of the house, nor should is illegal to do so, but use your influence to find acceptable treatment for the child.
  12. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    That was pretty extreme and i suspect that maybe your friend's mother had pent up anger. To kick out your kid out of your house no matter the problem would be akin to adding salt to injury. That guy probably needed some pro help and by kicking him out would only aggravate the problem.
  13. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    Well as a parent this probably wasn't an easy thing to do. Sometimes being a parent means having to make a call that seems extreme in order to get a childs attention. This is one of those times it's not easy, and I feel for that parent. We love our kids, and sometimes it hurts.
    deanokat likes this.
  14. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @karmaskeeper... Been there, done that, and totally agree with everything you said.
  15. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    That'd be really hard. In a sense, you can't support someone's addiction, but you also don't want them to be on the streets. You should set boundaries though. Either way, it'd be so tough being your kid.
  16. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I personally don't think I could do that to my child. I think like others have already mentioned, that it would really just add to the problems rather than solving any. When you're going through recovery, I feel like one of the biggest things you need is stability - and if you don't even have a stable roof over your head then it's just bringing about a whole new set of issues.