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Lack of guidance

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by sunflogun, Apr 17, 2015.

  1. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I think my case is pretty similar to many others, I was in high school, 15 or 16 years old, my life was good with no issues and some of my colleagues started to consume drugs, natural curiosity you might call it. From natural is has nothing and I feel that with some more guidance those 2-3 dark years of my life could have been avoided. As a parent now, I will not keep such a distant relationship with my kids as I don't want them to pass through the same.
  2. anne16

    anne16 Active Contributor

    Yes, I do agree that parents are a big influence over their children and that it would help if they maintain an open relationship. Curiosity is one main reason why more teens turn to illegal drugs, aside from peer pressure of course. However, I do believe that if the parents are good role model, most children will naturally follow. Also, it is best if the parents talk to their kids of the risks involved in taking drugs.
  3. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    That was not my case. My parents never touched drugs and I was consuming out of curiosity, I was not aware of the dangers that they had. So basically I got addicted to drugs, damaged my body and lost a few years of my life when all I needed was some guidance. I've learned my lesson and managed out, others were not that lucky.
  4. deewanna

    deewanna Senior Contributor

    Various researches have proven that children tend to emulate their parents, regardless of the quality of the parent-child relationship. We pass down our influence to our children. So yes, I do agree with you that proper parental guidance could help to avoid drugs.

    But it has also been proven that even children who were lucky enough to be given the most excellent support, guidance and education still turn to drugs. In that vein, even the most guided child could still be misled by peers in school.
  5. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    It's great that you don't want your kids to make the same mistakes you made back in the day. However, your parents might have thought the exact same thing about you when you were little, and yet you ended up using anyway. Do your best to alert your children of the dangers involved in using etc. and just prey they don't become as curious about drugs as your friends were in the past. I don't mean to put you out, it's just that I knew far too many kids whose parents didn't even have the slightest clue their kids were taking drugs. And I don't think they ever did.
  6. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    That's very true. Some parents tend to neglect their children and because of being too much busy with their work, they aren't able to take care and keep a close eye on their kids anymore. Parents should guide their children properly, and also, there should always be good communication among family members.
  7. EditorsRHumansToo!

    EditorsRHumansToo! Community Champion

    We are so proud of you @sunflogun You've listened to that inner voice within you that wants only the good that brings true happiness for you and your children. You and your children do matter in this world. Continue to be strong and smart for your sake and your children's. You are right about parental guidance for us and for our children. Keep loving them and communicating with them the way you do now.

    I wish you joy and peace in your journey.
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2015
    MrsJones and sunflogun like this.
  8. Hiraeth

    Hiraeth Active Contributor

    I personally believe that a healthy parent child relationship, one in which there is an active, smooth two way communication constantly taking place, can save young children from a lot of hazards in the future. This is not only about drugs or substance abuse. Be it anything, from something as harmless as a crush...if shared with parents, can lead to less or no trauma if that relationship leads to, say, an unfortunate teenage pregnancy.

    After my mom's death as a kid, I forgot what it was like to share with ones' parents. I have vowed that should I ever have kids, I will make sure they never feel uncomfortable or hesitant when it comes to sharing their problems with me, be it boys, drugs, theft, whatever. Nobody is born evil or self destructive. People make mistakes. As a parent, instead of shunning the child, one should be there for him/her with advice, guidance, support, and most importantly, as a friend.
  9. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Right that parents or guardians should give attention to the kids and aware of what have been happening to their lives. Although some who are being well taken cared of are still manage to use those drugs and choose wrong decisions.
  10. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    Many kids who have a wonderful upbringing, great parents and a wonderful future to look ahead into still struggle with addiction and drug/alcohol/tobacco issues. It has something to do with the upbringing to an extent. In many cases, it is just an individual and their decisions.
    MrsJones likes this.
  11. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    It's a hard process because kids are rebel by nature and we do need to try to achieve a balance between giving them the freedom a space they need to be children, but be close enough at the same time so that they accept our guidance. Thank you for your words once more Editors. :)

    As for wonderful upbringing Matt, sometimes education is far from being all.
  12. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    The right kind of parental guidance is necessary for growing children. Until we're of legal age where it's okay to live our own lives (say 18 or 21, depending on your country of birth), we need emotional, psychological and physical support from our parents. We have to depend on them and share our sentiments with them to prevent misunderstandings. We're not going to be their child for forever anyway. Should they not like the things we like, we can always strike a compromise. In fact, one of the main reasons why my brothers and I have never been alcoholics and substance abusers is that we are so close to our parents. We listen to them and we always consider our family's well-being before jumping the gun.
  13. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I think we need guidance throughout our life, that is why many times couples say they make a good team, because they guide each others. If adults need guidance, just imagine kids, they need it even more. It's great that you listen to your family xTinx, credit to your parents!
  14. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    A person is molded and taught at home first before anybody else can. If a child has been properly guided and cared for from birth to growing up then he would become a person of good values and proper thinking. The role of parents is very important and crucial to a person's overall attitude towards life. So if we are parents now, let's begin teaching our children the good things in life. Most of all, let's show them how much we love and care for them.
  15. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    That is something very hard to do, more, being a parent is one of the hardest jobs I've had because kids are rebel and they learn with others too, so we need to find the way to be close to them and that they listen to us. Sure, love is the road to follow.
  16. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    If you had some guidance then it could possibly have been avoided, but you said it yourself, you were naturally curious so maybe it was always going to happen. I am glad that you have gotten through it though and learned from what happened to you in the past so that your children will not have to go through the same thing.
  17. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Sure, what has to happen has to happen, but my parents allowed too much, they just let me on my own and even if I saw that as a good thing, looking back I would have preferred that they had occupied my time with sports for example.
  18. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I was going to make a similar point. Sometimes even with all the guidance our children will still dabble in drugs, some even becoming addicted. It's the world we live in and the mind of the child. Still we provide them with the best guidance. Even if they should stumble or fall because of that foundation many will still escape the clutches of drug or alcohol abuse.
  19. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Right, so parents or guardians are not always to be blamed. I think those who become addicted on adult age were in such situation because of their own wrong decisions and peer pressure.
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  20. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    I had a great upbringing. My mom knew all of my friends and was considered 'cool'. She promoted my athletics, was my biggest fan and the toughest coach. She was awesome and loves me to the moon and back, but I still expiremented quite a bit with drugs. I was lucky enough to never get addicted to anything and I think it has a lot to do with my family life and support and security I got at home. It might not stop a teen from doing things, but a solid upbringing does help.