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Learning to trust others

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Rosyrain, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    How do you learn to trust someone again once they have hurt you. This might be drug related or just life in general. If a person has deceived or lied to you in any sort of a way, can you trust them again if they have committed to changing their ways?
  2. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Trust is the hardest thing to achieve and the easiest thing to lose with just one mistake. I have also been at a point where all my trust has been lost over people who have managed to destroy it. But when I grew older and have thought about things in my life, I learned to forgive them and mend our broken ties.

    The trust has been so hard to revive though. I guess once trust is broken and lost it will be very hard to ever find it again. It can be found but it will always take time.

    I know this also happens with recovering addicts, sometimes they lost the trust of the people who care for them because of too many broken promises and relapses that happen many times.

    I guess all I can say about this is for loved-ones to extend their patience to the longest point they could ever reach because it's what they need in order to be able to help their addicted loved-ones recover from addiction. There would be times when all trust will be lost but as long as the patience is still there, then one day the trust would be able to come back once success in beating the addiction is achieved.
  3. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Everyone deserves a second chance. It just depends on the level of the wrong doings. This is total soul searching subject. Can you forgive others? That is a question that most people can't let go of. I for one suffer from that. There a few people in the world that have wronged me, and I still haven't lightened up yet.
  4. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I am that kind of person who has trust issues. It is not easy to gain my trust and if ever I have put my faith in you, that means you are really special. So if that someone broke my trust, it would not be easy for me to believe in him/her again. Well, I could forgive him/her, but I would never forget what that person has done to me.
  5. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Unfortunately there are no shortcuts when it comes to earning trust. Once you've lost someone's trust you can't simply tell them to trust you and hope that things will go back to normal. It will take a really long time and the person's actions over a long period of time must prove that he or she can be trusted. It can take years, decades maybe but in small steps the lost trust can be restored.
  6. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I have been dealing with some trust issues with my OH for the past few months. He was texting with some other female and it hurt me deeply. As far as I know, and from what he had told me, he is not talking to her anymore. I still have questions in the back of my mind though. We have talked and argued about it, and I have no real reason to believe he is still talking to her, but it is hard for me to let it go.

    I have been trying to focus on myself now and do the things that make me happy. I can't dwell on this forever, but I have beaten that horde in my mind so much that I just can't anymore.
  7. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    It's hard and quite honestly I think it really depends on the severity of the breach of trust and the role of that person in your life.

    I have to be truthful and say sometimes I can't get past trust breaches. If it involved cheating or something I would find it really difficult to trust again.
  8. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I really find it hard to get past breeches of trust as well. It is one thing if a friend tells a white lie and says that you look good in something if you don't, but it is completely different if the lie rocks the whole foundation of your relationship.
  9. run2live

    run2live Member

    First, you have to know that you trust yourself. If you don't trust that you make good decisions and take care of yourself, trusting others is difficult. Once you know you trust yourself, you need to consider the value of this person in your life and whether your trusting them again adds to your well-being. If it does, you and the person need to work together to rebuild trust.

    As much as I wish it were true, none of us can magically trust someone who doesn't work with us to change the behavior that caused the issues from the beginning. The person who broke your trust must be willing to be transparent with you so that you can witness change openly. If they aren't willing, listen to your intuition -- the person may not be as invested as they want to appear to be in changing the behavior that broke your trust.
  10. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Trust is like a mirror. Once it breaks, there will naturally be permanent cracks that can never be removed. Depending on the offense, I either will stop talking to them with no chance of being friends again, or I can still hang out with them but I won't confide in them.