Leaving A Meeting Feeling Negative

Hi there - I'm new to the forum - I'm actually here for advice on helping someone else. I have not personally dealt with addiction, so I do realize that you might take my words with a grain of salt. But that being said, I would like to say~

1. Have you talked to the group leader about their requirements, and how it just isn't feasible for you? 90 meetings in 90 days to me seems rather, well, impossible. If the group leader doesn't ever get feedback, he/she may not ever try to improve the group.

2. Not all groups are right for all people. If it is possible, I do not think it is wrong by any means to try to find a new group. I personally would even drive an hour to find a group that had the right people.

Sorry I don't have any personal experiences, however hopefully someone else will soon.

Also, I may have NO CLUE what I am talking about, but have you also thought of just starting your own group? The website www.meetup.com is an easy way to organize a group. Perhaps you might even find a PHD student who would be willing to lead the group for a very low fee or even at no cost.

My way of handling negativity is rather unconventional. I try to find a quiet spot (somewhere in a place where I can hear my own echoes) and scream at the top of the lungs. No kidding. I used to do it even with everyone in the household present but now, out of courtesy to them, I try to make it a point no one's around. I also read tons and tons of inspiring quotes from Goodreads.com and Pinterest. If I have time, I watch epic and inspirational movies. I do anything just so nothing - not even the source of negativity and stress - can get the better of me. These work for me. I don't know what works for you, though. Just focus on the things that DO make you happy. The negatives will never last. You can bet on that.

I have a cousin who has been through a year of NA. He reports that he hated it the first two months. He was angry during and after every meeting. He looked around the room and saw people who had nothing to do with him. And he hated dragging himself in. But his life had become unmanageable. Meetings provided structure and familiarity and fellowship. His method, he tells me, was to remind himself about the alternative. He didn't come into the room by accident, as much as he hated the process he was forcing himself through, it had an end game that was far superior to the end game he was on without the program. He put on his big boy pants and pressed on, learning to take life on its own terms rather than run from it and hide behind the destructive use of drugs. Yes, sometimes this stuff feels awful. But ask yourself: would I be better off continuing on the path that got you there? Hang in and keep going back.

I always leave the meetings feeling very negative and pissed..

One can't feel good and positive all the time. Leaving a meeting, feeling depressed or angry, is part of the process of dealing with the addiction and all the surrounding problems. To expect that you walk away from a meeting feeling all good about yourself is unrealistic. I think these issues should be raised more often during meetings. Talking about pessimistic feelings will definitely help to gain more insights as to why they occur.

Feeling good and positive all of the time is, I think, an impossible expectation. Meetings are likely to bring up feelings that make you uncomfortable and unhappy. BUT they should also be about support. If you are feeling more beat up for your failures than supported in your desire to change, I think it's important to evaluate if this particular group is the right one for you. I also think it's important to talk about those feelings because if they are making you consider a different group or stopping the meetings, you might not be the only one feeling that way and there might be something they can do.

Stress is already part of our everyday life and all we have to do is to deal with it properly or else the negative emotions brought about by these can really affects our health. To cope with the negativity and stress in my life is as much as possible I try to avoid being angry and just accept the things the way it is as it comes into my life. Thinking positive thoughts is also what I am doing and not to judge other people but instead be an inspiration to them. Through these I am able to overcome the negativity in my life.

That is generally the overall attitude towards meetings, but hopefully they will get better in the future. I hope that you learn to somehow enjoy them.

Life is not always having a positive day or not always having a negative day. If ever you have the urge to think about negative things, brush them off quickly and replace them with happy thoughts. I believe that we should not let ourselves be affected by a situation, by other people, and by our own mistakes. Yes, we fail at times, who doesn't? But what matters most is that you need to learn something from every failure. If the support group is not helping you in any way, then probably it's time to leave and find another one. A support group should bring out the best in you and help you recover not feel burdened and more stressed.

I just want everyone to know that AA meetings and group therapy is not for everyone. It's just not. Some people need a one on one experience and some people thrive in group sessions and atmospheres. I think that everyone just needs to find their own fit.

Just because you may attend one meeting or two that gives you the wrong feeling does not mean its not worth doing. There are typically plenty of meetings in any given city or town and finging the ones that are to your liking may be important to do. However, as the poster up above stated, not everyone thrives in a group atmosphere, and it may be that despite your best efforts, going to meetings, and working the program is not for you.

I've always left meetings feeling like that. It seems like unless you believe in God as your higher power, you are looked down on. Even though they say you don't have to, the pressure is really heavy. I didn't believe in God during the time I was going to meetings and I just always left feeling very depressed and worthless.