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Letting an Addict Live with you

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Deeishere, Feb 22, 2016.

  1. razzer64

    razzer64 Member

    My wife has son who is diagnosed with ADHD. He is now 27 and has been a cannabis user for years. This has affected him greatly due to his condition. It has given him mood swings, he has been in prison three times and his problems have caused major relationship problems between me and my wife. Anyone that says cannabis is none addictive and harmless, I'm afraid in my opinion is gravely mistaken. It can also cause paranoia and other mental health problems
    Thomas Leonard and deanokat like this.
  2. Deeishere

    Deeishere Active Contributor

    What was your experience with him staying with you? I just wonder did it work for you or did you began to experience any problems with him staying in the dorm. Like someone stated in their post, if the person does not want to change, they won't. One of my friends let a young lady stay with her and she ended up stealing checks. Needless to say, she let her go.
  3. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    There was this one time that two of my older cousins who are both meth users came to live with us. I really hated it when they were staying with us. They're the the reason why one of my brothers got hooked on meth. The scariest part is when one of them masturbated in front of me. I ran to my oldest brother and told him what our cousin was doing. My older brother confronted our cousin and told him that he and his brother needs to get out of the house and never come back. That episode caused a rift in our family.
  4. ChloeDawn

    ChloeDawn Active Contributor

    My former husband was addicted to both pills and alcohol. It was very difficult living with him and eventually it destroyed our marriage. I worried that something would happen to him or he would go off in front of our kids. If you are concerned about your daughters safety, this might be you intuition telling you not to allow him to stay with you.
  5. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    I've been through this before and it wasn't pretty after the first week. I would never do it again. The feeling of being taken for granted by family members is tough to deal with let alone having to tell them they can't stay any longer. You try to lend a helping hand and then it all goes south.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Amen, @MrsJones. Amen.
    MrsJones likes this.
  7. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    You are correct that moving away won't solve his problems. There is a saying in the program "wherever you go, there you are". It sounds like he really has some work to do on himself and his recovery, that will be the only solution. Sending strength and positive thoughts to you and your family.
    MrsJones likes this.
  8. roger1003

    roger1003 Member

    I think living with an addict is okay especially if you love him. Just make sure you are not being drawn into using drugs or alcohol with him. Also, don't expect that when you tell him to quit, he will quit right away. Always remember that it's a process and it doesn't happen overnight.
    MrsJones likes this.
  9. Momma9

    Momma9 Community Champion

    I would not allow an addict to live with me. Legally, it is wrong! If they bring illegal drugs or criminals into your home you could lose it!! Or be accused of being a dealer yourself. Not to mention if there are underage children in the home. They can be taken into state custody if illegal drugs are found in the home. Addicts steal to feed their addiction. My daughter came into my home and stole her little sisters piggy bank money! She would never do that sober!! They also attract criminal friends who will steal from you and your neighbors. It is hard when it is someone you love, but the risk to everyone else in the home is too great!!
  10. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    In my experience, the people who think it's okay to let an addict live with you have never been through the experience. I've been there and done that, and I would not recommend it.
  11. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Maybe let him live with you when he has a track record of sobriety. Say he has been sober for a year or something. That might be the way you can help him and protect your family and belongings too. Don't cut him off, but let him know what he needs to do to stay with you.
    deanokat likes this.
  12. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I didn't really experienced this but my parents did. My aunt and my uncle are alcoholics and when I was a baby they didn't had where to live so they stayed in my house for a couple of months and you can imagine how it went. They used to fought a lot, smoke and drink the most of the time, and that wasn't the best environment for us (my sister and I) to grow up. Luckily they realized about it and leave.
  13. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    I don't have any addicts in my family, however, in my extended family there are couple of alcohol addicts. One of my uncles is an alcoholic. When he is drunk, he will go crazy, sometimes even hit his children and wife. He does not drink every day, however, when ever he drinks, he become very difficult.
  14. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    It is okay to help somebody and I am always for that. The family and friends should always be there for one another. However, if you accept an addict who is not willing to change and who wants to live that life and who is not your family but your boyfriend or your girlfriend, that goes in a group of masochism. You cannot help somebody who doesn't want to be helped. Of course you should try but in case of alcohol for example he can last a long time, Literally, one can live 80 years as an alcoholic and you have to put up with that just because you love him or her. I really do not think so.
  15. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I have not. I don't think I would let it be unless it was a recovering addict that needed my help. Now if they were high as a kite all the time, I wouldn't go near them at all.
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It will be really better if he will get away from those people that would influence him into addiction or away in a place where he can easily relapse. Maybe he can seek help on support groups or try programs that were helping people like him.
    deanokat likes this.
  17. Okaviator

    Okaviator Senior Contributor

    When I used to have a friend that would come and stay at my house. All he did was influence me to do drugs by being near me. Sadly he has passed away from drug overdose recently, making me reconsider my life.