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Like It Never Existed

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by crc3thebest, Jan 20, 2015.

  1. crc3thebest

    crc3thebest Community Champion

    Losing a friend to addiction changes a persons outlook on life. At this point, you only see the arguments and name-calling. My friend was called many names by so many because of drug use. They believed the addiction altered his inner person and there was no way for him to turn back. What could my friend due to change the state of his relationships?

    I saw the tears roll down my friends eyes, while he screamed, " F my life." He was hurt by the remarks of the one's he called "friends". It was time to build my friend up! Therefore, we found a new group of people to hang with. They really helped my friend gain confidence through love and support.

    Diverting to a supportive crowd saved my friends life. Today, we both thrive in life through a supportive group of individuals. We never judge but compliment one another to exemplify grace. We remain friends because, I never knocked my friend but built him up. Positivity can be used as a seed, while constant positivity waters the seed.
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2015
    Winterybella likes this.
  2. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    I think it can work both ways. Being optimistic and supportive no matter what can be counter productive. I think sometimes you need to be hard on people. Encouragement is fine but positive improvement in the addicts behavior is required.
    crc3thebest likes this.
  3. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Crc3thebest, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. I am glad you did not turn your back on your friend and even more happy that you are both doing well. Life is about choices. I hope others are reached by your story. Keep watering the "positivity' seed.
    crc3thebest likes this.
  4. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    It's so common when we are young to hang out with a crowd of people who abuse and belittle you rather than support you, because we want to feel accepted... I'd like to say that as we grow older, we know better, but it happens to adults and seniors too. *sigh* I'm glad you guys got out of a toxic environment and found people who truly cared about you like you did! It's very nice to read about! :)
  5. OhioTom76

    OhioTom76 Senior Contributor

    Fellow addicts tend to be the most empathetic towards each other, since they know better what each other are going through. However some folks who have never been through addiction issues can also be very empathetic and supportive of their friends or family who are going through it, and it can make a world of difference when everyone else around them is giving them a hard time.

    Ostracizing, harassing and shaming addicts does nothing to solve their problems and it often times make them worse. "Tough love" often makes the problem more about you than the person suffering with the addiction, instead of fighting their addiction, they are fighting with you.

    That said, even fellow addicts can turn on each other - especially when they are miserable with themselves and want to judge themselves against others in order to feel better about themselves. They may become very verbally abusive and continuously try to remind you how worse off you are than them - even if that's not the case at all.

    Sometimes you need to eliminate all these people out of your life. It's not always about them abandoning you, you need to get away from them in many cases.
    crc3thebest likes this.
  6. light

    light Active Contributor

    This is really a success story to be admired and give more importance to positivity in life. I love this sentence: “Positivity can be used as a seed, while constant positivity waters the seed.” Persistence to keep feeding with love and positivity the soul of your friend when a lot of people go away from you in difficult moments, is a blessing. Now you and your friend can inspire and help a lot of addicts you know. :)
    crc3thebest likes this.
  7. crc3thebest

    crc3thebest Community Champion

    Remember, the toughness you put on others can easily be diverted back to you. Always take a brief look at your own goals and ambitions before looking onto someone else. My father was really hard on me athletically growing up. Though I loved the game, he literally drained all the excitement out of the game with his yelling, screaming, and strenuous task. Constant love and grace to one another builds such a great foundation of hope that even if I mess up you will be there. Only then will you see success in another's life who is going through a trial. Hope this helps, God Bless!
  8. crc3thebest

    crc3thebest Community Champion

    Thanks you so much for your positive input! I will definitely keep watering the "positive seed"!
  9. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Great to hear from you again. I have wondered how you are doing. In a world where there is so much negativity, we need all the positive we can source. Best regards.
  10. MNyte

    MNyte Member

    That is quite the experience with a friend, and proves how much you value your relationships. Not a lot of people have that will to stay around long enough to see someone change their life with a complete 180 degree turn.