There have been quite a few posts on here stating "I think he is using again, what do you think". If you are at this point, then go with your gut. Your antenna is up for a reason, and it might be because you saw this same behavior before. If this is the first time you have gone through this with this person, then your confidence in the subject may not be strong. Educate yourself, then decide on what you want to do for YOU, not them. If you have seen this person high/drunk over and over, then you know exactly what you are looking at. Another reason you may feel this way is due trust issues that occurred in the past. Sometimes they are not using, but your suspicions are a formation of this person's past behavior. Accusations being hurled at a recovering addict who is truly trying may put on additional pressure, so be sure to handle the situation appropriately. Addicts in recovery who understand the process will expect to have to earn your trust back. Because of this, you should be able to have a calm and non-accusatory/non-defensive conversation--as long as neither of you allow emotions to get in the way. Keep in mind that someone who truly is trying can also become frustrated in the situation. Imagine if you were trying to stay sober and it is really hard, but you are doing it. Then you get accused of doing things you are not. You might feel as though all the hard work you are trying is pointless because you are getting blamed for things anyway. The best way to keep your own sanity and support your loved one is to get informed. Being here for moral support is a great option! Be sure to actually research the ways that alcohol/drugs affect the brain, motor skills and personalities of addicts. Learn why it is that addicts do what they do. When you do this, you begin to realize things they say to you are not personal, as most addicts say or do those same things. It is normal for them to blame everyone but themselves. It is normal for them to turn a conversation away from themselves, because they might not like what they see if they look in the mirror. Another important issue is abuse. Under no circumstances should you accept abuse, whether verbal, emotional or physical. If the person becomes abusive LEAVE! This time and every time. I have an ex who would drink, knowing I was coming to pick him up to go out for the evening. He was mean, but never physically abusive. I began calling him before I left to find out if he was drinking. I could tell just from his voice. If he was, I made other plans and did not go out with him. After a month of this, he asked me "How come we do not see each other much anymore?" I told him flat out, "I refuse to go out with you when you are drinking. This is just a reflection of how much your drinking increased over the past few months." He was shocked. He did not realize how often he was drinking. We were together for a long time, and we went through all of the cycles. He was so bad, he would hide beer and vodka in the toilet tank. I once saw him spend $500 on alcohol on a cruise, then complained about a $2 glass of orange juice being too expensive. None of this was because of me, or my problem in any way. This problem is the addict's problem, and there is no way you can change that. Only they can help themselves. The only thing you can do is ask them if they need support, help or someone to listen. You can find them information regarding rehabs or meetings, and even go with them if they want. But no matter how much energy you put into it, only they can change. Protect yourself and your children. Carefully evaluate, because each situation is different. Good luck.