An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Little brother on Xanax

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by kybmcc, Dec 24, 2017.

  1. kybmcc

    kybmcc Member

    My 18 year old brother has been having problems with Xanax on and off for, as far as I know, almost a year. He’ll take one, be completely incoherent and barred out for several hours. It scares the hell out of my mom, he’s gotten in trouble at work, wrecked my parents car... etc. I say on and off because it seems like he’ll take one (or however many) be out of his mind for like a day or two, then seem fine for a couple of weeks. But who knows how often he really does it. He is incredibly stubborn and has bad anger issues. My family is terrible at addressing problems and talking about uncomfortable things, me included. None of us know what to do. My mom is terrified, my dad ignores it, and me and my brother have tried to talk to him but neither of us really know what to say/he doesn’t ever want to talk to us. If anyone has any advice or anything I welcome all stories and help. I’m worried about my little brother and I don’t want my mom to keep going through this. Thank you.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @kybmcc... Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear about your brother, but I'm glad you're reaching out. And it's great that you want to help him.

    There's a really good book out there that I think could help you and your mom with what to say and do about your brother. It's called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written primarily for parents and partners of people struggling with addiction, but I think it's great for any loved one. It teaches stuff like how to communicate better with the person; how to talk to them to help convince them to want to change; and how to take care of yourself while you're dealing with their issue. Get the book and read it. I guarantee it will help.

    I also recommend going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings. Those groups can be so helpful for loved ones, because they are full of people who know exactly what you're going through and feeling. You will quickly find that you are not alone.

    Your brother is young and has a long future ahead of himself. I hope he can realize at some point that he needs some kind of help. Just remember what Nar-Anon and Al-Anon teach us about a loved one's addiction: "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it." You can be supportive and loving, but your brother is the one who will actually have to take the steps to change.

    I'm sending you and your family lots of positive energy and hope.
  3. kybmcc

    kybmcc Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, I will definitely check out that book and look into the meetings.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    You're very welcome, @kybmcc. Best wishes for a happy new year.