Hi all,iv never been part of any forum before but I had to reach out to someone. I was an addict for most of my adult life,heroin,methadone,pills then eventually crack. Myself & my then partner waded through life for 15yrs & had 2 son's through it all. When the crack entered our life it all changed. We went from getting by each day to nearly killing each other & ourselves & obviously the boys were in the middle of all this. It spiralled pretty quickly. Pretty desperately. Anyway I ended up going into in patient treatment & splitting up with my ex & done fantastic & felt great. It was the first time I had ever been in treatment & it was just what I needed. I got off the methadone & was clean for 2 & a half yrs. During that time I met a great guy & we'r engaged & have a baby together. Life was great. Then I had just that one bag of heroin a few months ago. I suffered with post natal depression & was so stressed out. Well jump ahead to today..I'm smoking a bag a day. What an idiot. What have I done!! No one knows. My partner knows of my history with drugs & is no fool. He knows there's something up. I keep telling myself I'l buy some methadone & do a quick detox coz I'm starting to need a bag obviously now first thing in the morning. If let everyone down. It's only a matter of time before it all comes out. I'm out of my mind with worry. So much so iv bought 2 bags today!! How have I got here again!!!??