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Living with an addicted spouse

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Lonely, Jun 29, 2015.

  1. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely... You have to do something so that you and your kids aren't living this way. You and your kids shouldn't have to go through hell every weekend just because of your husband's addiction. I like @Emerson_B's suggestion of getting someone who's close to your husband involved in this. I also agree with @jmontero31088 with regards to the enabling. Letting your husband behave the way he does or giving him pills is just pouring gasoline on the fire. It also gives him absolutely no incentive whatsoever to change. Sometimes we have to try and force our loved one into wanting to change by taking steps that we are afraid to take. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

    Continuing to pray for you and your kids.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely... Just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and your kids. Know that everyone here cares deeply about you.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely... Here's hoping that this weekend is a bit better for you. Sending you positive vibes and big cyber hugs. :)
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely... How was your weekend???
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely... Hope you're doing alright. Sending you positive, caring vibes.
  6. sad

    sad Member

    I am also in the same situation I'm lonely afraid and also have an addicted daughter as well in looking for help
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely... We haven't heard from you in a while. Please check in when you have a chance. I've been thinking about you a lot.

  8. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Sad, I am only just finding this thread and to think you are experiencing the same thing as Lonely, truly breaks my heart. I read all the fine encouragement Deanokat and others offered to Lonely. I hope you can benefit from the advice given. I hope lonely is back here soon with a good report and Sad, I will be thinking and praying for you both and those precious kids.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @sad... I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through. I think the advice offered up to @Lonely in this thread probably could help you, too.

    Feel free to reach out to us anytime. We are here to help and support.

    Peace and hugs.
  10. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    You sound like a prime candidate for Al anon. I think you and your children need to be somewhere else. Do you have family members you could stay with? You need to provide a safe environment for yourself and your children. Living with a violent drug addict is not it. Protection is one of the things you need to do as a parent. You need to also provide a safe place for yourself.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    @Lonely Hello & thank you for your courage sharing your story with us in this forum. I am sorry to hear about the situation you are in right now. I am also a wife and I would say I really love my husband that is why maybe if that situation happen to me I will not also know what is the right and the best thing to do. Of course you want that he will change his life for the better of himself and your family. But not all things we want and what we expect in our life does not happen the way we want it to be. You are in a different situation right now and just be strong for yourself and your kids. Our fate and destiny in life will just dictate what is really meant for us. Keep on praying and God hears all our prayers..
  12. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lonely and @sad... I've been thinking about both of you lately and hope you're alright. If you get a chance, please check in with us and let us know how things are going. Sending positive vibes your way.
  13. Jorge Solis

    Jorge Solis Active Contributor

    I am sorry you have to battle with this in your life. I can tell that you are a strong woman, and a supportive spouse. I can only share with you what has worked in my personal life. I think that communication in a marriage is the essential took that allows the relationship to thrive. Communicate with your spouse. Let him know the effects of his abuse and how it is affecting you and your children. From my personal experience, I can tell you that when a substance user realizes the damage caused to others, not just to himself, he or she then realizes that it is time to hit the breaks and seek help. You are one of the very few people who can help him. Please do not be discouraged in this long and burdensome journey. I can understand that at times living like this can become unbearable, but please remember that we are here for you, to help you and your family get through this difficult time. Like I said, you are one of the few people who can help your husband; yet, you need help yourself with all this weight. Please use this forum as a way to channel your frustrations and anxiety. Remember that you are not alone, remember how strong you are, how supportive you can be, and how loving your children need you to be. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors!
    deanokat likes this.
  14. misskrystal1982

    misskrystal1982 Active Contributor

    I hope @Lonely is ok. I am just now finding this thread, but it is terribly heartbreaking to read this. I hope she has found somewhere to stay and is safe, just without internet access for now.

    Sometimes that is the drawback of the internet. We get to peek into these lives from such a remote place, and when they disappear all we are left with are guesses.
    deanokat likes this.
  15. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

  16. Carnold23

    Carnold23 Community Champion

    First of all I am so sorry your going through this.
    Second, you need to make sure you are putting yourself and your children first. This includes your mental health.
    I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if I was in your position I would leave the house. Let him know that you still love him and you are willing to help him. But only if he wants the help. You can't enable him because then he won't have the push he needs to get better. Make it hard for him, make life uncomfortable for him. Then he may have more motivation to better his life.
    Once again I'm sorry. You have all the support in the world here.
    deanokat likes this.