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losing someone you love and avoiding the pain

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by tasha, Feb 2, 2016.

  1. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    sometimes it is not easy to live with the pain of loss and many doctors have felt bad and given medication to patients that have suffered loss because they feel bad and don't realise that after 14 days you can get hooked. The numbness it provides will get you by for a while but it does not take any pain away, not the pain that matters anyway and you will end up wanting to find something stronger. Prozac is often given to patients after they have done the pain killer treatment and they feel moody or depressed but once you have got yourself onto something like Prozac you will never fully experience life in a natural way and if you think about it would the person you lost, want you to live like you have died?
  2. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    When my Dad passed away it was sudden and I was devastated. I thought of going to get something to get through it but I decided against it. I needed to deal with it and the best way to do that was to do it naturally. I found out that your body goes into a numb state at a time like that anyway and you get through the wake and funeral in a daze. I barely remember it now. I was there but my body was numb to the feelings and emotions. It was only after the funeral that I really started to feel the pain of loss. When my Mom passed I was crushed. It was terrible. She was my rock. She was there for me all my life no matter what kind of mess I got myself into. Both my parents never stopped believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I could have used pills to deal with their loss but I knew it wouldn't do any good. If I started to take them I would have to continue to do so cause how would I ever deal with the loss without them. It has been a rough and long road but I am glad I choose to do it the natural way and to feel the pain and to deal with the emotions. Pills are a temporary fix. Eventually you have to deal with the loss.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2016
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  3. misskrystal1982

    misskrystal1982 Active Contributor

    Yes, loss is a terrible thing. I lost my mother just a little over a year ago. Some days I swear are worse than the first few days after she was gone. It's such a struggle to not fall into a hole of depression and stay there. The days are fewer and farther in between, but losing her changed me permanently.
    I wanted to find substances to take away the pain and loneliness I felt. Instead I turned to exercise. Whenever I get into a rut, I find a fun workout on YouTube to take my mind off of things. So far, it seems to help.
    MrsJones likes this.
  4. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    The ability to feel pain is what makes us human. I dread the day when my parents aren't around anymore. especially if one dies significantly before the other. I just lost a cousin to a heart attack, and it was a total shock. She was fairly young...and no one else in the family has ever died young. She was not visibly sick the whole thing was extremely shocking. I wasn't close to her..but it reminded me of my mortality, which isn't easy to deal with either.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    “You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” --Anne Lamott
    Amelie Santos likes this.
  6. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    If you begin to take stress, anxiety, and insomnia drugs, you can be addicted to these drugs in short time.Therefore, you should never take these drugs even if they may be prescribed by your doctor. If you are stressed out because of loss of loved once, try alternative healing such as meditation and yoga.
  7. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    It's really going to be difficult for someone to deal with the loss of their loved one, specially if that person who has already gone was really close to them. It would take a lot of time before they would have finally accepted the fact that they will never be back anymore. Well, I actually prefer the natural way of mourning/coping than the use of substances/pain relievers.
  8. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Losing people is never easy and dealing with this reality is even harder. Even though we know that everyone experiences loss sooner or later in life, it's something that we don't really think about until it's there. There's no cure to the pain so rather than avoid and escape the inevitable, you have to prepare for it and find more reasons to be happy. This will help you cope up and heal faster.
    MrsJones likes this.
  9. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    thank you for sharing, yes it is best to deal with the loss but some people take longer than others and it is good that you chose to do it without the drugs!!
  10. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    exercise is the best because it releases happy hormones that wont take the pain away but it will keep you on a path of positive energy. sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing
  11. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    we can go at anytime it is not up to us at the end of it all but we can look after ourselves and enjoy life so that when our time does come we can remember it and look back thinking that we had a good life.
  12. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    thank you for sharing and this is great advice. loss is something you never get over but the pain does subside a little over time, keeping the faith is good too and I like the broken leg saying!
    deanokat likes this.
  13. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    meditation and yoga is good it puts you into a peaceful mode and relaxes your way of thinking too. medication and drugs never work for any situation they only make it worse and unfortunately those who take it usually end up with it beside them when they are found
  14. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    natural mourning without pain killers and medication is a good idea and for most it can be done.
  15. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    loss is not easy and finding ways to make you happy is a good idea which is why it is so important to have family in your life
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I also think that better to deal with it naturally. We might not totally get rid of the pain, at least it can be lessened or you can at least say that you can handle the pain better. It is never easy to loss someone who you loved deeply.
    MrsJones and deanokat like this.
  17. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    Catharsis is very important. However, how to purge emotional tension is very important. Easiest way to do this by avoiding loneliness.
  18. Amelie Santos

    Amelie Santos Active Contributor

    @tasha, it seems you are going through something difficult, and I'm very sorry. We've all been there, as evidenced by the wonderful responses you've received here. And while I don't want to tell anyone how to grieve, I do hope you'll eventually stop taking medication to ease your pain - if it's possible. Just to avoid creating more problems for you. I know for a fact that loss is almost impossible to deal with most days, but I also know that resurfacing after keeping yourself numb is even worse. I hope you pull through. We are all praying for you.
  19. Amelie Santos

    Amelie Santos Active Contributor

    @L_B, you described exactly what I felt after my dad died. I was in a daze, like it's all a really sad movie that I'm watching from far, far away. I also went right back to school, taking comfort in all that wonderful numbness, which I do not recommend to anyone. I think it screwed me up even more. Embrace that pain guys. I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me, you'll be doing yourself a favor. You don't want to end up like me, who thought I was okay until I was blindsided by the reality that I'm so NOT. It was horrible, and it sent me on a downward spiral.
  20. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener