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Love and Sex Addiction

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Gin0710, Oct 28, 2014.

  1. Gin0710

    Gin0710 Active Contributor

    I know this isn't a substance, but it is an emotional addiction and I believe I have a problem with this. It's difficult to find support groups in my local area. I've found some online but there were more creeps in the online meetings. It's difficult to know how to deal with this.
  2. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Addiction of any kind can become a problem and this one is dangerous as there are many diseases and psychological effects here too. You need to establish why you have this addiction and the best way to do this is to find a therapist in your area, who will then be able to send you to a proper group.
    Gin0710 likes this.
  3. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I think this problem also has something to do with hormonal imbalance. It could be the result of a very unusual lifestyle or your food choices (causing irregular hormone responses). Well yes, you can certainly go to a therapist for consultation but you may need to change your lifestyle and diet as well.
  4. jaray87

    jaray87 Member

    Mental/Emotional and physical addictions can develop from stressful environments. Perhaps an idea is to evaluate your current environment including friends and families. It is tough to get ahead of a love and sex addiction, sometimes it's for fear of something/repercussion or just fear of losing something and not getting it back. It is always easier to dish out opinions and advice but tough to carry out if I had to. Good luck with your journey. We are here to support you.
  5. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    It depends on the level of addiction and what exactly you are addicted to. If you are addicted to sex and is comfortable in a monogamous relationship then that is fine, if it is though that you are addicted to sex and you will do anything or have it with anyone then that is serious. If you are addicted to love and sex I think it would be in your best interest to find someone just like you, love each other and have sex 24/7s :) I have the said problem but it is controlled in the sense that I will only share this with one person only.
  6. jgon3491

    jgon3491 Member

    Talking with a therapist might help or just taking some time off to yourself. I know it may be hard but that's what I ended up doing. I had a similar problem early this year where I went on a sex rampage but today I'm much healthier and I'm in a healthy exclusive relationship. I couldn't be happier because my boyfriend made everything better for me. I no longer needed to get attention from others after I met him.
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Step #1.
    Answer this question on a piece of paper. How has sex addiction affected your life?

    Step #2
    List down as many reasons as you can why you need to overcome the addiction. It's important that you write them down because once you make the commitment to combat the addiction, you'll need to periodically take a look at the reasons why you're quitting as this would further strengthen your resolve to fight harder.

    Step #3
    Set some date when you quit. With sex addiction you MUST quit cold turkey. The period between setting the date and stopping is for you to adjust prepare yourself mentally for the battle that will follow.

    All the best!
  8. Gin0710

    Gin0710 Active Contributor

    I haven't had trouble with sex, it's more of an addiction to love and attention. Either way it has affected my family and has enabled me to believe my marriage isn't worth salvaging when it probably is. I want to stop relying on other people (men in particular) for happiness. I'd like to think I can make myself happy without the affection or attention of a man. I constantly am seeking the approval from a man and lack any approval of myself, even with a man's approval.
  9. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi Gino710. Assuming that your concern has affected your relationship with your family, your wife in particular, why don't you see a counselor or psychologist who can help you sort things out. I think your concerns have deep connection with your childhood. There is something there that needs to be resolved.

    Good luck to you!
  10. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    If there is a major issue with addiction then there should be a positive support group to render aid. I tend to not go around things that could be hazardous to me. I luckily have not been around the influence of drugs and alcohol.
  11. dinomarino1

    dinomarino1 Member

    I feel as if sometimes i am addicted to feeling wanted. it doesnt matter if i have a girlfriend or not, i need to have that feeling of somebody new accepting me. i guess thats along the lines of sex addiction. i wish i could just come to my senses and realize i have a beautiful girlfriend and i shouldnt mess that up
  12. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    I never had sex with anyone I do not know how sex addiction feels. I never really was wanted by anyone in this world. I do not know when I would have sex with the first woman until it happens I cannot worry about it.
  13. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Love and attention from your spouse should be something that you need to communicate. A marriage is sacred and should be one where you are willing to try and work on it by communication openly telling your partner how you feel and what you need, unless you are in an abusive relationship where in that case its a matter of ending it to start over and find someone that will you completely.
    Every marriage goes through a rocky phase where you feel unwanted and unloved but you do need to speak up and try fixing it.
    To give yourself some self worth, find something to do that you are good at, a goal to achieve and be independant so that you can accomplish something without a partner.
  14. Gin0710

    Gin0710 Active Contributor

    I just finished my bachelors in August. Other than giving birth to two kids (being pregnant with one while going to school), finishing a college degree is one of my best achievements. The only down side now is that I am having trouble finding a job, and that's forcing me to second guess myself. As a substitute for feeling better about myself I often turn to men or affection. Sort of as a way to get comfort. However, that need can be excessive and sometimes not necessary. I know I need to find other ways of comforting myself that are healthier. Setting a new goal would be great!
  15. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Glad to hear it! There are times when we have kids and just become parents and housekeepers, spouses tend to take us for granted and we get stuck into a rut. Feeling ignored, unwanted and unloved can lead us down many paths but choosing the path that is right for you is up to you. Setting a goal will help you feel better and it will definitelt be an achievement for you and nobody else, once you have done that it will give you extra motivation to do other things that will not require you to feel needed or wanted by anyone and you can change your whole outlook and the way that others(spouse) see you. Go for it, go for gold and everything else will fall into place.
    Gin0710 likes this.