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Love is the key

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by jeremy2, Oct 30, 2014.

  1. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Showing an addicted family member love and support is the best thing one can do to that individual. This is the best time to reassure him/her of your unwavering support because rebuking him and treating him like an outcast will only push him away and deeper into drugs as this is probably the only place he finds solace.And who knows? Maybe the love he receives may make him to snap back to reality and stop depending on drugs.
  2. LostmySis

    LostmySis Senior Contributor

    This is true. But at the same time, some addicts are too wrapped in themselves to even notice what is going on outside their own head. Most addicts are loved, that is evident by the number of families that are torn apart. Those around them are still there out of love. So really, love only gets you so far. Plus, the concept of rebuking him is a matter of subjectivity. I could offer to attend a meeting with someone, yet he might say that is rebuking him and calling him a drunk/addict. One of the biggest problems with addiction is that only the addict can ask for and seek help. Those around them can only watch and wait it out. Some of that goes smoothly, and some of it can be extremely traumatic.
  3. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think this is very helpful advice. Often, family members will react aggressively towards the addict since they themselves are scared and don't know what to do of how to react so they express themselves with anger and frustration and it usually only leads to more complications. If the approach is calm then there is a better chance of getting a calm and calculated response. Communication is really the key along with love, I agree.
  4. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    This is great advice and I am the first to encourage exhibiting love towards the affected person. However, I have to agree with some of the other posters who made the point that sometimes love doesn't seem to be enough for an addict. At least for the period of the addiction.

    I have found that it really takes a long time for an addict to appreciate that the people around them only have their best interest at heart. Having said all that I am still going to promote the message of LOVE.
  5. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    It's a little poetic but I definitely agree with you. The saying that love can defy all odds does hold water. Although the gravity of the situation may make or break it, I still think that if you love with all that you are, then you'll do anything to change for the better or support someone with drug problems.
  6. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I agree. Everyone no matter how independent they think they are always have that one person they can't stand to lose. If you happen to be that person then you can use your influence to help the addict get over their addiction. But just being there for them isn't enough. You need to gently nudge them to quit abusing drugs and because they love you maybe they'll be willing to make the sacrifice so they don't lose you.
  7. 003

    003 Community Champion

    It's always love and concern. But love often makes one blind and makes it harder for one to take drastic and necessary measures. Like what if one really needs to be sent to jail. If you really love that one, you'd agree on sending him to jail, in my perception at least. But some would think that it's like that their love one would be punished, which they don't want to happen.
  8. Twinsmommy31

    Twinsmommy31 Active Contributor

    Love does cause us to enable those we love. It also causes us to let many things go by the wayside. It still is what an addict truly needs. Love is what makes the world go around. We must also let the strength of our love help those we love; live better lives.
  9. Oyes

    Oyes Member

    You are Absolutely right! The order of the day is LOVE. When dealing with a Human being that suffers from any mental and,or physical disorder and, or addiction, the best ingredient to use, is LOVE. It may sometimes feel like a hard thing to muster within us - worse if that addict does not treats you right or there seems to be no hope for the individual- but truly, it will prevail. We just need to let it abound much in us. The Good Book teaches us that LOVE covereth a multitude of sins; the same as saying: flaws or faults. And if the question should ask: which one of us are without faults or flaws in our life? the answer would be none. Therefore, let love and compassion reign for our drug addicts rather than indignation and hate.
  10. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    Pretty much, when we don't have love we don't care and we are selfish, so we need to grow love and mutual respect, that is the base for a healthy relation and it will prevent a lot of cases of drug consumption.
  11. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Even if someone seems to be too rapped up in their drugs to notice that they are loved, I think some of it probably gets through. Sometimes people in addiction are also rejecting the people around them because they are afraid of being forced into treatment if something. But if you never give up on showing live to someone, one day when they decide they need help they will remember that you care.
  12. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    For me it's really painful right now to go to my parents place and see my brother living there once again. He's 41, my parents are in their 70's, so this is what addiction does. Even when we are loved.
  13. ryan0039

    ryan0039 Active Contributor

    I would agree completely :) Finding that my mother responded to me just giving her the love she wanted so badly did help her. To be honest I don't really love her that much, we've never been close, but me and my brother coming back into her life definitely helped her. It's just painful to see her hurting herself in other ways, too, though, so it's still hard for me to talk to her. But giving her love definitely pushed her to want to quit, or at least admit she had an issue.
  14. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    One thing is for you to say that you don't have a close relation, but eventually you do love her a lot you'd do anything for her good right ryan?
  15. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    While it's important to show love, that's not everything. Love isn't just being nice to an addict, or doing nice things for them. Love can be tough as well. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and be hard on a friend or relative who is struggling with an addiction. You have to be hard on them and let them know that although you understand addiction is tough it can't be a crutch or an excuse for them.
  16. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    No question about that, love is not enough, but it's the base to everything else. After love we need to make the effort to act correctly and that is not possible without love I am assuming.
  17. Abo Nights

    Abo Nights Member

    I can't but completely agree with your statement here! My dad was addicted and our love encouraged him to go into rehab. Two years later now, completely recovered and tremendously grateful for our love and support.

    Encourage your loved ones!
  18. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    Good testimony there Abo and the fact is we bring people back from the dead almost literally because they don't have a life and we manage to give them one.
  19. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I agree with you that showing love could help some to change or feel the need to change and be motivated. But I think it should be the right ways or proper ways to show love. Love that will not tolerate a person on his/her addiction.
  20. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    Yes, we can never pass to the contents if the means are not the adequate ones, so we need to know how to communicate and convey our feelings or else we might not show what we want.