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Loving yourself

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Rosyrain, Feb 15, 2015.

  1. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Someone once told me that before you can be loved and love others, you must first find love for your own self. This means that you have to be happy and proud of who you are and people will pick up on this. Confidence is taught through recovery programs. You can't have love for others until you learn to love who you are as a person. What are your thoughts?
  2. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    I think that it really and truly just depends on the person. Should everyone have love for themselves? Absolutely. Should you have to love yourself before you can love others? I do not really think so. There are so many people who have so much love to give and they give it to other people because that is what they feel like is right. They help other people and sometimes the people that help out are the people who hate themselves.
  3. RingoBerry

    RingoBerry Senior Contributor

    I think it is true. It is already programmed into us that love is something great. The ultimate description of devotion to someone important. Its also instinct that the person we hold that high up deserves nothing small - in fact the best that we could offer. If we think less of ourselves, if we don't know our own importance, how can we offer ourselves to the person we love? We need to see our own worth first and work hard to be the best version of ourselves before we can offer it to someone like that.
    Rosyrain and Zyni like this.
  4. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    I think it's true. If you don't love yourself, why would you care enough about yourself to seek help for addiction or to stick with recovery? If you don't think you have value, you won't care enough about yourself to get better.

    If you feel this way about yourself, how will you be able to give or especially receive love from someone else? I think a lot of dysfunctional relationships are that way, because people don't love themselves.
  5. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I think it's important for us to love ourselves. I believe I might have spoken to this in another thread. Too often we love people more than we love ourselves to our detriment. Sometimes the hurt and pain we allow others to inflict on us comes because we sit around waiting for people to love us when we should be loving ourselves.

    I used to think it was selfish; not anymore. Loving yourself is a protection. I read somewhere that when we have those moments of feeling helpless and hopeless we need to drench ourselves in some "self love". Still, loving ourselves should never mean we don't love others. Everything and everyone in their proper place.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2015
  6. bluzkluz09

    bluzkluz09 Active Contributor

    I like to think of it as a balance. Loving myself gives me confidence. I think some people go overboard. These would be selfish individuals. To love yourself I would define as accepting the person you are. Also forgiving yourself for things you may regret doing. Lastly accepting your physical flaws. If we are able to accept these things in ourselves it gives us the ability to do so with others. Love is kind. Love is also patient. I think as long as we can do these things we can love each other. I think it is possible to love someone and not love ourselves but I don't think that love is a lasting love.
  7. Janie

    Janie Active Contributor

    I think this is true, but it is hard to see in yourself. Like I think, yes of course I love other people, but do I really love myself too? I'm not sure.

    But when I look at other people, I can easily see that they have trouble loving other people because they don't truly love themselves. I guess that is with everything though, it is easier to see flaws in others than in yourself.
    Zyni likes this.
  8. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    It is true that we should love first ourselves before we show or offer love to other people. How can we do this if in our own self we are not caring, treating right and loving ourselves. How can we share and spread the true meaning of love if we do not know the essence of loving yourself. It is easy to love and be love and all we need is to express it in the right place and right time in our life.
  9. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I also agree on this and just like the lyrics in a song "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all". :)
    If you love yourself, you can also spread the love and be loved for who you are.
  10. Twinsmommy31

    Twinsmommy31 Active Contributor

    I have to agree with this. How can you effectively love someone else if you can't love yourself. It starts from within. Loving yourself feels good and will radiate to others. It has always been a true way to feel. Always love yourself first because that is the most important.
  11. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    Seeing your own value and learning to love yourself is a good "prescription" to help fight addiction. "I care about myself too much to go down that rabbit hole."
    Winterybella likes this.
  12. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Very well put in connection with the essence of this forum. Often when we make that decision to love ourselves other people are involved. We think about wasted love on others and the hurt or pain we might have endured perhaps because of a failed relationship.

    I really like that it was related to only you: when you love yourself enough not to self inflict the pain that comes with addiction.
  13. goldenmaine

    goldenmaine Active Contributor

    I agree with you. Loving one’s self would be the first priority before we can give love to other people. It would be a very dishonest if we showed great love to other people but have a hatred for our own self. Especially for recovering people, they have to have self-love first so that they may realize that they are important and a lot of people appreciate and love them. Eventually this love of themselves will radiate to the people around them, friend and family, leading to a happy and fulfilling life. Their recovery will be more fruitful because of this and an improvement in their state will be evident.
  14. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I agree with your post. Love yourself first, and when you do that, someone will love you because they'll see that you've got self-respect.
  15. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    I agree with you there! Loving yourself is eminent and highly important. I actually think that you can't do anything right without loving yourself first and foremost!

    When you value yourself and love yourself that much, it open up room to love others in the same way you love yourself. You will most likely be able to hang onto your dreams of living a healthy and sober life far better than if you think that you are worthless. That is great advice you have there!
  16. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    I agree, one cannot know love until he/she understands to love their self first. One of the biggest reason I believe people become susceptible to drug addictions is because of low-esteem, which is developed mostly between the ages of 1 to 7 between a child and 5 of the closest people the child interacts with - so if the nurturing is bad, no doubt the child will not love herself or himself. I still hold to this as the greatest quote written by man,"Know thyself," by Socrates or Oracle of Delphi - to not know oneself is not to love self.
  17. 003

    003 Community Champion

    I really agree that you must be able to love yourself first before you get the chance to love someone else. Because through knowing yourself comes knowing also other people. Your self also serves as the basis for what you can give to others because when you know and love yourself, you will know what's for you and what to give to others so you will maintain a healthy thought of yourself.
  18. Lizel

    Lizel Community Champion

    Yes, however hard loving yourself is then you must do it in the first place in order to be happy with who you are.
    You wan't achieve anything in life, if you don't believe in yourself and don't love yourself. :)
  19. wander_n_wonder

    wander_n_wonder Active Contributor

    I have a friend who tends to give everything she has to others, to the point that she gets so abused already. Eventually, she realized she doesn't have to feel empty and that her first priority has to be loving herself first. This is not a form of greediness but just making sure you are whole yourself before you even reach out to others.

    OGRICHBOI Member

    I came to realize this when I got into my first relationship. I had a hard time in showing love, because I didn't truly love myself. Loving yourself is more than just thinking it. It involves TRULY caring for your body and mind. So I do agree with that statement fully.