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Marijuana brother.

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Dilof, Mar 18, 2016.

  1. Dilof

    Dilof Member

    My brother uses marijuana an awful lot and I really don't usually mind. But he has anger management problems and the marijuana seems to make his mood swings more prevalent. I rarely talk to him but the attitude he has towards me and my parents (he's 20) is pretty bad.

    I just want some support on how I can relate to my 20 year old brother (I'm 18) and try to ask him to find alternate methods of temporarily calming himself down. He's become so lazy lately that he's quit his job; now before people say this is all because of marijuana it may not be, but I'd like support nonetheless.
  2. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I think your parents are enabling your brother by condoning his lazy habits. He quit his job, how does he get money to buy marijuana? I don't think talking would solve your brother's problems. Your family should arrange him being sent to a facility where he can be clean before he becomes liability on you all when he is too high to do anything for himself.
  3. Dilof

    Dilof Member

    The chances of a 20 year old guy with a history of physical violence going to a self help facility is very slim.
    He was supposed to go back to college but he jacked that in because hes so antisocial. I want to help him but me and him don't talk at all, so it's near impossible for me to have any sort of impact on his life.
  4. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Well you gotta start somewhere right? I think you should start by asking your bro how was his day, or how is he feeling, and see how he will respond. If he's receptive try to prolong the conversation more until he opens up.
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2016
  5. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    @Dilof I think if you start being 'nice', sharing how your day was and what's going on in your life, he may open up. Like @serenity said, you need to start from somewhere.

    You do care for your brother, but you need to think outside the box. There must be someone he admires that could talk to him. Try and think of all possible connections to get help for him.

    I wish you both well.
  6. roger1003

    roger1003 Member

    What I can advise you to do would be for you not to lecture. Don't be his older brother. Your brother is old enough already. You can be his friend and his mentor and do activities that does not involve marijuana. By doing that, you are pulling him away from addiction.
  7. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    I think there has to be a deeper issue as to why he's using marijuana. And as his brother, it's up to you to find that issue. You said that you aren't really close, so why not start being close now? It's never too late to build a relationship with your brother. After all, you're family and forever connected.

    Try with something light, like starting a hobby together. Maybe sports or even just watching a movie might be nice. Anything that can make you two bonded. That way, it will be easier for you to get to know him.

    As for his anger management issues, the only way to solve that is by going to a counsellor or therapist. Maybe that is one of his problems and that's why he uses marijuana. If his anger management can be managed at least, there would be no need for him to use marijuana.

    Lastly, having nothing to do makes someone susceptible to doing illegal things. Better to encourage him to work, even just online jobs if he is anti-social.

    Good luck!
  8. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    So Dilof, I'm wondering what has happened now between you and your brother? What approach did you try to do to get close to him?
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Dilof... How are things going? If you get a chance, check in with us and give us an update on the situation with your brother. We're here to assist any way we can.
  10. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    Do these mood swings tend to happen when he hasn't got or can't get hold of any marijuana by any chance? That's why I find with a lot of marijuana users. They claim it's not addictive but then when they haven't got any or can't get it, they get depressed, frustrated and irritable which are all the signs of a psychological dependence. If that's not the case, then there must another underlying cause to his anger - it doesn't just happen for no reason.
  11. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    You are a great younger brother and son for caring about your family so much. Keep in mind that while your seeking help for your brother is incredibly kind, do not be afraid to take time for yourself to live your own life, especially at 18.

    That being said, marijuana can cause mood swings in users, and it is great of you to seek help for your family. Often the entire family of a drug user becomes involved in the recovery process, because they all end up negatively effected by the drug user's habits and attitude. Everyone in the family has to be on the same page, as previous posters mentioned, so that they do not enable your brother with money or other circumstances that make it easier for him to sit around and smoke pot.

    Encouraging your brother to simply just try giving up marijuana for a day/week/month/whatever seems appropriate for him, may help him to see that he can live without it. Suggesting other things to do besides smoking marijuana to relax (reading, working out, playing video games, going for a walk or a hike, going swimming, etc) might help as well. Continue to be supportive of his quitting marijuana. You are doing the right thing, hang in there.
  12. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    I think marijuana is probably a big part of the problem. Those who use it typically do not have very good work ethics, and based on things I know of people in my own town, where it is SO prevalent, it does seem to be related to marijuana use. I think the drug has a demotivational effect on the mind, causes people to slow down and space out and basically not care about being responsible.

    I think as a younger sibling, at this point it's not really your responsibility to deal with this issue, but if your parents are not addressing it at all as a young adult still living in the same house with him and them, I think you have every right to have a discussion with your parents about what is going on with your brother and in your home. While it's their decision, as head of the household, how they are going to deal with it, you do have a right to voice your opinions and concerns, as it may help them get out of denial, if that's where they are right now.
  13. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    I am a user or I was. I just do not smoke any more because I don't feel like it. I have some better things to do but what I do not realize is how the hell is marijuana affecting his anger management in a bad way? It is really strange. I understand the swings in mood but still, weed makes you calm and peaceful and it should help him with this not do the the opposite.
  14. Okaviator

    Okaviator Senior Contributor

    I would recommend that you kick him out of your house for a few days if he's staying with you. Maybe all he needs is a wake up call to quit his addiction.
  15. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Better if your parents can talk to him and find ways to help him. Your brother might need professional help before things get worst. He cannot stay that way and become addicted before there will be intervention.
  16. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    Your situation mirrors mine and I have been living with a younger marijuana brother for close to 15 years. We tried numerous interventions including taking him for rehab and even a penitentiary and everything came a cropper. We as a family experienced alot before we finally let go of him to chart his own dysfunctional destiny. In the cards is spiritual intervention which if what I have researched over the years will suffice. It is the nuclear option against addiction.