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May be getting evicted

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by L_B, Feb 21, 2016.

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  1. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    After another long, difficult weekend I get a call from the landlord. The neighbor beneath us made a complaint about us. Said my husband was jumping on the floor to annoy them. I wasn't here. I was gone most of the weekend spending time with my kids. I wasn't staying around to put up with his drinking and irrational behaviour. The landlord was pissed and asked to talk to him of course he denied he did it but he was loaded drunk and slurring his words. The landlord knows he is an alcoholic and this isn't the first complaint from neighbours about him. I have lived here before we were together and there was never a complaint. The trouble started when he moved here with me. At first it was all good but the last few years have been hell. The landlord didn't mention eviction but I wouldn't be surprised if I got one at the first of the month. He has given us more then enough chances and things never change. The landlord seems to think that I should be able to take charge and control his behavior. I wasn't here because I can't tolerate his behavior. I am not sure what is going to happen but I do fear this time the landlord has had enough and to honest I don't blame him. I can't afford to move so I have no idea where I will go.
    WannaBfree likes this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @L_B... I'm sorry to hear this. I will keep good thoughts for you.
    L_B likes this.
  3. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I feel for you, @L_B - like you said it's hard for you because if it was as easy as snapping your fingers to change his behaviour I have no doubt you would have tried that option by now!

    Thinking of you and hoping that your neighbors and your landlord are understanding and don't go down the eviction route.
    L_B likes this.
  4. knitmehere

    knitmehere Community Champion

    We went through this with my dad's girlfriend when I was younger. Would you at all be comfortable just kicking him out? Talking to your landlord about just putting his name on the eviction notice?
    L_B likes this.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    @knitmehere I would not be comfortable just kicking him out even though I have thought about moving and was thinking if we were evicted then maybe it would be best to go out separate ways at that time. Even then though I don't know if I could do that. He has been really quite since the call and hasn't been drinking but I am sure that will all change on the weekend. I won't really know what is going on until the 1st of the month. I will just have to wait and see if I get a notice then. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. I was always so strong and independent and I can't believe sometimes that this is the life I am living. I never would have imagined this would be my life.
  6. knitmehere

    knitmehere Community Champion

    Sometimes we do some crazy things to keep the life that we've become comfortable with. Luckily, if they do try to evict you, you should have a month or so to figure something out. If you are put in that spot, you might become more clear headed and be able to make a choice that will work out best for you, whatever that may be.
    L_B likes this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @L_B... Every time I read one of your posts I make a little wish that you'll be able to find happiness and relief from your current situation, however that manifests itself. You are such a kind and wonderful soul, and you deserve to be happy. I just want you to know that I care. If you ever need anything from afar, please don't hesitate to message me.

    Hugs.
  8. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @L_B. May I suggest that you review the terms in your lease for reasons to evict. Sometimes it takes getting the police involved for such instances as nuisance or complaints to be on record. Have you raised this possibility with your husband?

    As @knitmehere mentioned you would have some time to find housing elsewhere. If you really believe that eviction is possible I would begin searching. It would at least give you something else to think about.
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2016
  9. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I'd also say that while there's no point in worrying yourself sick over something that might not happen, at the same time I'd now be putting things in place and looking for other accommodations just in case it does.

    Even if you aren't asked to leave, if you say it isn't the first time complaints have been made, in the future you'll know that your on thin ice and so may need to find another place anyway.
  10. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    First and foremost you have to think of you and the kids. If his behavior is so bad that you could lose your home, you may have to make some hard decisions and tell him to leave until he gets sober. Your landlord just cant snap their fingers though and kick you out like that. They have to first issue you a 10 day notice to fix the behavior.
  11. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    Is there anywhere for your husband to stay? It's not fair or you to get evicted just because of his behavior. I really hope he gets help. It sucks that it ruins people's lives around an addict.
  12. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    L_B, I get that you are worried that the 'worse' might happen but don't overthink it.perhaps the landlord has no idea of evicting you. I am trying to be optimistic here. If it does happen and I trust it won't we just have to say it was meant to be and their is a blessing in every disappointment.
  13. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Oh my... so sorry to hear this :( I'm truly sorry, I hope your husband stops abusing alcohol soon, hopefully this weekend it will be different. I truly hope you guys don't get evicted, and if you do I truly hope you have a plan B. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hoping your husband takes the decision to stop drinking soon.
  14. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    Sorry to hear about your situation. Most of the time addicts are so caught up in their addiction and focused on getting high or drunk, that they don't notice all of the harm they do to the people around them, and all of the hurt and pain that they cause them. My advice would be to give your husband an ultimatum. He either straightens out or you leave. It's unacceptable that you could be homeless because of his behavior.
  15. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    There does have to come a point when you have to think about yourself and the children, however hard that may be.

    If he won't get help, or doesn't think he needs to, this is only going to keep happening and you have to try and break the cycle yourself.
  16. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I am sorry you are going through this LB. I think that even if you are not evicted, it is time to take control and find a place you can afford, and my hope is that you don't invite him. You may need to look for a job..and start putting cash aside, because even though the eviction may not happen this time..it may well come down to that at some point. I feel for you.
  17. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    I think sometimes difficult problems can be solved with simple solutions. It seems you can't control your husband. The landlord says that the buck stops with you. You need to plan with the landlord on how to contain your husband. Like calling the police to check his drunk incontinence. The landlord will oblige if you approve of this.
  18. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    We had a sit down with the landlord. I have been a tenant of his for over 10 years so he is very understanding and he said he hates to lose a long term tenant who always pays the rent on time and he knows us so well. He said that he would not evict us but that things have got to change. That he can't keep having other tenants complaining because of us. We did give us a warning and another chance. He also offer my husband a job helping him out a few days a week do hopefully that will help matters. We shall see what happens from here but for now we can stay. We got through the weekend pretty good. He did drink but he was quite and didn't cause any trouble.
    MrsJones likes this.
  19. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm glad you talked to your landlord, @L_B, and I'm glad you got another chance. I hope your husband does right. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
  20. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    You need to try and treat this as a fresh start now, and forget what's happened in the past and try and concentrate on the future.

    Maybe your husband can see now just how close you've come to losing your home so that could be the incentive he needs to make a change?
    deanokat likes this.
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