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mentally strong?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by pwarbi, Mar 22, 2015.

  1. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Trying to help anybody through an addiction can take its toll. I think if somebody is prepared to do this then they have to know exactly what they're dealing with and what sort of pressures that can put on you aswell as the person they're trying to help.

    Sometimes there's a risk of being too close to somebody and feel that you have to help them out of love when sometimes its best to step back and let somebody else take over.
  2. Fern

    Fern Active Contributor

    I agree. Sometimes helping or attempting to help others can really be overwhelming. As much as you want to help, it can help to take a big step back and remember that they won't make any progress unless they genuinely want to. You can help a little by being supportive but you can't do it for them.
  3. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Anyone who is helping an addict needs to have realistic expectations. There's no guarantee that the addict will give up their addiction just because you offer advice, stand by them, etc, etc. What might be a "healthy concern" for someone might end up being being seen as nagging [by the addict] something which might exacerbate the problem. It's advisable to step back when the addict makes it plain that they don't need your help just then. Inform them that you'll "be around" should they ever need your help.
  4. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Helping can really affect you as well since you will be exposed and might need to deal with the problem yourself. One should have strong mind and learn how to motivate someone to change and be better.
  5. Stella

    Stella Member

    You definitely have to be mentally strong to help an addict out. You also have to be a positive and patient person to be able to help, too. An addict will not change overnight, so it takes a lot of work. You can't also expect for it to be an easy job. Recovering from anything is always a roller coaster. I think ultimately, you really have to care for that person and have a good bond with them for you to feel like you have the mental power to help them through it. It all depends on the relationship.
  6. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Lol, yeah, most of the time the addict will ignore that piece of sound advice. It's like that most of the time. I mean, if it was that easy to stop being an addict, then there wouldn't be any addicts left.

    It's almost impossible to reason with an addict. It really is! It's sad but when an addict isn't ready to quit, he or she just won't. This is so hard to accept for most people, hence a lot people end up dealing with a lot anger and frustration when trying to help a loved one dealing with addiction.
  7. ella

    ella Member

    It took me so many years to realize this. I was affected already and don't even realize it. You can't change anyone unless they really wanted to change. I think all you can do for these kind of people is to let them known you are always behind them when they are ready to get some help.
  8. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    Simply put, you cannot help anyone who isn't willing to help themselves. If they're not ready yet, then all you can really do is make them aware of the dangers and potential consequences of their actions and hope that they self-reflect enough to be able to see how it's affecting them and those around them. They need strength, determination and encouragement and for that reason, I don't think the 'tough love' approach really does any justice except maybe in extreme circumstances.
  9. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

    This is some great advice. Sometimes people who are helping addicts have the outlook that they WILL "fix" the addict and things will get back to how they were when addiction was not a problem. This is obviously not always the case, and staying mentally strong while realizing failure may occur is important.
  10. light

    light Active Contributor

    The most discouraging fact is that a person is going to change his bad habits only when they firmly decide to do so. Considering that fact and accepting it, is the first step to relieve yourself from fault and strengthen your noble initiative to help somebody to become sober. Your actions should aim to stimulate self-love for an addict. If they love themselves more than their bad habit things are going to change. A positive mental attitude is essential, so do all you can without harming yourself.
  11. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    I strongly believe in what you say. We should correctly assess ourselves and make sure that we have enough mental strength to deal with this kind of trauma and drama. We can know this by virtue of past experiences and how we have dealt with, as well as currently evaluating ourselves to see toll that our loved one's drug addiction situation is having on us. If it is becoming overbearing, then apparently it is time to step back.
  12. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Yes we have to let them know that we are always there beside them. We cannot force or push anyone into change. It is not healthy for us to take other people's problems and put them on our own heads. Success lies within striking a balance between helping someone and not allowing the help to be detrimental to your health.