An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Meth addict boyfriend should I stay or go

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Beth89, Jun 20, 2018.

  1. Beth89

    Beth89 Member

    I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years the past 3 he has been on and off meth . We have a 7 month old son together also. When he is clean he is amazing with me and my children but when he slips he leaves and is gone for months till he is ready to "get clean" does good a few months then back to it. He has stole money and vehicles, costed me hundreds of dollars and being basically a single mom I can't afford it. I love this man with all my heart and just want our life back we had before this . Do you give up or keep holding on when and how do you know what to do ?
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Welcome to the site,i am sorry to hear about your situation,of course having a child together complicates thing's.Only you know what your heart want's but you have to do what's best for YOU and your KID'S.There is no easy answer to this question as we are all different.I do think you need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend and find out if he want's to be in the relationship.When do you give up?I don't know but i pray you find some peace within and ask yourself if this is the life you want to live,its hard for me to say as im a recovering addict who has lost everything but now sober i feel terrible my wife dealt with me as long as she did and i can't change it.I hope someone else replies with better advice.Stay Strong and God Bless
    deanokat likes this.
  3. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over expecting different results. It sounds like you’ve done this dance a few times and the same thing keeps happening. My suggestion is change something, I didn’t live with my significant other for the first year of my sobriety. We had lived together for 5 years prior to that. My suggestion would be tell him if he gets clean you want to be with him, but set boundaries like he can’t move back in till he has 6 months or a year. Or tell him he has to go to treatment. That way he can focus on his sobriety and ALL the changes he’s going to need to make in order to stay that way. If you continue to do the same things you’ve been doing your going to get the exact same results.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Beth89... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry that you're going through what you are with your boyfriend, but I'm glad you found us and reached out. I think @True concern and @CMMW have already given you some terrific advice and insight. I agree that you have to do what's best for you and your child. Personally, the environment you're living in doesn't sound like the healthiest one. But only you can make the decision to change something. You can't fix or control your boyfriend. But you can control what YOU do about his behavior.

    I'm sending you lots of love, light, and hope. And strength. I hope you are able to make a decision that allows you and your child to live the happiest, healthiest life possible.

    We're here if you need us. So don't hesitate to come back and lean on us anytime you need to.
    True concern likes this.
  5. Jai50

    Jai50 Senior Contributor

    U need to leave him. I'm a recovering addict. I go clean for months cuz I ran outta scams money or I just needed a break from drugs.
    He will never change if he knows you'll be there to help. This world isn't good for u or your child. Join codependent support group. He will always be in ur life because of your child but he needs to know you moved on then maybe he will.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Beth89... How are you doing today? Just want you to know I'm thinking about you. Reach out anytime you need to, okay? We're here. You are not alone.
    True concern likes this.